Tag Archives: Sexual intercourse

Acrobatic Women During The Sexual Act

In my study I have piles of publications on a variety of topics ranging from medicine and science to sex. The other day, I found a few dealing with the acrobatic acts of women during sex. All enthusiastically embraced the belief that such acts dramatically increase the mental and physical pleasures of female sex. Nothing was mentioned about the men.

Some of the positions discussed are “being on top”, “doggy style” and another without a name. The latter is when a man is standing and stroking away while the woman is on her back on some type of platform such as a kitchen sink or the hood of a car. Being on top was rated as the most exhilarating experience because a woman feels in charge which creates the powerful fantasy of domination. And regardless of the type of acrobatic sex, “dirty talk”  or “fantasy talk” by the man was considered essential to maximize the pleasure hit. No description of the nature

Now I’m no prude and have been around for a long time, but there’s little real solid clinical data on the pros and cons of acrobatic sex. I’m excluding dungeons and whippings from this category. It’s interesting to note that “69” was not mentioned.

Once more I called G and, as usual, he burst out into laughter when I asked him the lead questions whether he had experiences with acrobatic women and, if so, what happened?

“Sure I did: Many times. I would  guess that out of the approximate 300 women who I’ve been with, maybe 20- plus or minus.”

I then told him about the acrobatic articles and wanted his take on them  based on his personal experiences.

“Lorenzo, rather than ask me lots of specific questions, let me briefly tell you my overall view and some experiences for, believe it or not, there’s some subtle psychology involved. You mentioned to me, as an example, about gals sitting on top and having fantasies of feelings of power which I’m sure happens. But, frankly speaking, acrobatics was never a main part of my sexual encounters. The more I think about, and I haven’t really thought about this in depth, I would classify them as diversions and not the primary- pardon my pun- thrust of my encounters. And, come to think about it, except for a couple of events, in the book I didn’t mention the acrobatic ones.

“Anyway, getting to being on top- I never encouraged it because I don’t like it. It was always the women who took the initiative, and, I would say, they generally, but not big time, enjoyed it. The younger ones, however, enjoyed it more than the older ones.”

“G, why is this?”

“People don’t realize that it’s a lot of work for a woman, and the younger ones can physically handle it better. A couple of the older ladies got significant  thigh cramps which was a negative hit. Lorenzo, you don’t see older female acrobats at the Olympics!”

“G, did I hear you right? You said you didn’t enjoy it but over the years most guys I know say they really like it. Why didn’t you like it?”

“Lorenzo, my doctor friend, you’re the reason! When you were a young doctor, you told me about a guy who came to the emergency room in utter agony screaming to beat the band. He had a fractured penis and couldn’t pee. His bladder was about to burst followed by life- threatening peritonitis. It was necessary to reconnect the severed urethra  by ramming a rod through the muscles of his penis up to the bladder, and, if I remember correctly, without anesthesia! I asked you how this happened, and your answer has never left my memory bank. The guy had a hard-on while the lady was on top making big time vigorous movements which led to his fractured pecker. Then you told me that this scenario was a common cause of a fractured penis. So every time a woman sits on me, I think about the potential of having a rod rammed through my penis, and I’m, needless to say, very, very careful about how it’s done and do my best to get it over with without ruining the woman’s pleasure.

“If I ever have sex again with a woman  who wants to be on top, I can tell you that request would be diplomatically rejected.

“ If guys knew about this problem there would be a dramatic reduction of penis-sitting and, I’m not kidding, an increase in sitting on the face. There’s something about “sitting.”

“What’s your take on doggy style and the one without a name?”

“We used to call doggy style ‘the Eskimo position” because that’s how, as I understand it, our northern neighbors do it. I also think that’s the position babies are delivered. Anyway, unlike being on top, I was the one who initiated the position, usually as a minor diversion in a heavy domination scene. It served a purpose but, now my memory is not clear on this, there weren’t many great lady orgasms. But to repeat, it wasn’t meant to do that but just to keep the ball rolling.

“Regarding the no-name position, in theory, it, like what I said about muff-diving before, offers the potential of a man’s and woman’s pelvis to become more closely connected than when in bed.  Unfortunately, the theory doesn’t hold one main reason one can do more in bed.

“Lorenzo, let me conclude by saying that most high-level, beautiful sex takes place on the bed with a woman on her back- sans acrobatics!”

 

 

 

 

 

Kissing and High-Level Sex

Most kissing has nothing to do with sex. Its application ranges from a good morning and family friend greetings and goodbyes to encounters among diplomats. Depending on the circumstances, it’s an expression of love, recognition, respect, support and a reminder of the value of relationships. French kissing is not permitted!

Here’s a riddle for you: There is an annual event at Stanford University where the freshman are obligated to kiss the upper class students at the command of the latter. Make no doubt about it- the air is not scented with perfume but with spirits of the liquid kind. Is this a ritual of sex or student camaraderie?

It is believed that the kiss originated in India. When Alexander the Great conquered India and was eating lamb in Punjab, he saw lots of kissing going on. He liked it so much that he took the custom back to Greece where it was accepted. But it was the Romans who went bananas over kissing and spread the custom throughout the empire eventually taking root in the Western world. It is also mentioned in the Song of Songs in the Old Testament: “May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.”

It’s puzzling, as with many things sex related, there are very few good clinical studies evaluating the nature of kissing. Jan Hoffman wrote an interesting column in the New York Times about a survey conducted at Oxford University on hundreds of men and women who were asked about their feelings on kissing in romantic relationships. One controversial finding was that kissing does not play a significant role in stimulating sexual arousal and vice versa. Another major finding was that most consider kissing as more important in maintaining relationships and happiness, as mentioned above, than in the act of sex. I would agree with the latter.

I called G, my friend who kissed at least 300 women before and during the act of sex, to get his take on the study. Much to my surprise he wasn’t surprised at all. “Like many studies, the interpretation of the results regarding the act of sex are misleading. Please take note that not everyone in the study said that kissing was not involved in sexual arousal but only the majority. As I mentioned in the book, most men and women are not great at kissing and have not developed it as a sophisticated act of arousing their partners. That’s one reason why those surveyed in the study did not rate it high in sexual arousal. Most were not good kissers!”

“I hate to interrupt you, my friend, but if there are no good studies on the subject, how do you know that men and women are not good kissers?”

“From my personal experience and my survey. Most of my lady friends were not good kissers, and I had to take time with them and coach them to get it right. And, believe it or not, it worked most of the time which is very encouraging news for it’s a quick learn. Men and women should take note. Also, during my conversations with the ladies, when the subject came up- and it frequently did- most of them complained that men were not good kissers. Bad kissing up front is a big sexual downer. If I remember correctly, there was a Gallop Poll which reported that the majority of men and women are sexually turned off by bad up-front kisses which confirms my personal experiences.

“Lorenzo, as I explained in the book, a kiss is a very sophisticated act and is not isolated to lips on lips or tongues on tongues contact only. It must be harmonize with other physical and verbal acts. Before I forget, I’m talking about high level sex where the artful kiss is, without question, the essential bridge from prolonged foreplay to prolonged and high level copulation.”

“G, did I get you right? Did you say that it doesn’t take a great effort to teach somebody to kiss properly?”

“You’ve got it half right. I taught women- not men! I just don’t know about the latter. Lorenzo, I mentioned before in one of your interviews, someone who really knows about the art of love-making should start a school.”

“G, anything else before we call it a day?”

He paused and then laughed heartily. “I’m a little pissed off at myself. In one of your previous post you mention that the dynamic Italian poet lover, Gabriele D’Annunzio, ‘fondled eyelids with his tongue’ which drove the women crazy. That’s something I didn’t do and beg pardon from all my lady friends for this unforgiveable omission.”

Cunilingus versus G’s Muff-Diving

Like most things dealing with sex there’s not a great amount of instructive information on the act of cunilingus otherwise known as sucking cunt or twat, ‘going down on it’ and muff-diving. Sure there are videos on the Internet depicting the act even with cameras in the vagina filming the face and actions of the guy doing it. Perhaps they are helpful as a teaching tool but there aren’t, to my knowledge, any credible clinical studies to demonstrate any added or unique benefit.

Yes, there are women who love cunilingus and easily reach climax even when done by an inferior performer.

Yes, there are women who like and are stimulated by it, but cannot reach climax until there is some type of vaginal penetration either with the penis, dildo, vibrator or G’s favorite, fingers.

Yes, there are women who, by stimulating their clitorises, reach climax by masturbation using various methods including having an animal execute the act.

Yes, there are indications that younger women are increasingly turning to cunilingus as the preferred way to reach climax for reasons which are not clear. I’m not aware if that’s true with the older ladies.

Yes, there are significant numbers of women who don’t take to cunilingus- at all!

Yes, there are lots of men who don’t like doing it Maybe because they just don’t like being ‘down there’ like some women are with fellatio.  Also, they learned by experience that they turn women off in their attempt probably because of their lack of know- how.

Those of you who follow my posts full well know that I’d contact G and get his take on muff- diving, the term that he prefers because it, according to him, has a broader meaning than cunilingus.  I called him and asked him to very briefly describe what he means by muff-diving. As usual, he burst into laughter when I presented him with a complicated sex question.

 

“Lorenzo, in our Casanova book I described the ‘art’ of muff- diving in great detail. It’s involves much more sophistication than what is generally considered as cunilingus. Though I don’t know all the facts, I’m pretty sure that oftentimes ‘going down on it’ or cunilingus is done when the hormone levels are high, and it doesn’t take much to bring a woman to climax by a simple act. And there are all kinds of uncomplicated situations where this successfully happens. And I’m all for them. Life is complicated enough.

“But my experience is complicated and deals mostly with mature, attractive and mostly intelligent women in a single, prolonged encounter where women first experience my way of muff-diving. I’m not bragging when I say it is- or at least used to be- performed on a very high artistic level. To me, the entire combination of what a man does when performing cunilingus is the greatest art form in love making. It’s as much mental as physical. Maybe more mental for it depends on a woman’s mind and how you open up her doors of sexual receptivity. Let’s not forget, that a woman’s mind, even during the act of sex, is much more psychological than a man’s. It’s greater expectations again!

“Now, Lorenzo, I’m going to sound like you and clinically very briefly describe my style. As I said in the book, there are two parts which are intertwined and going on at the same time.  The first is how you position your face against the vulva, and the second is everything else you do. I cannot emphasize how critical the first part is. Your face must, in a real sense, become biologically one with the vulva. When that happens a woman becomes immediately receptive and everything else you do to increase her arousal state is tremendously enhanced. Regarding the second part, the first principal is to proceed slowly- and I mean, slowly. This, of course, applies to the first part.

“I said it before, and I’ll say it again. My style of muff-diving is one of many other successful ones. It’s reserved for special, attractive, intelligent women on special high-level sexual encounters.”

It was evident that G had concluded his very brief description, so I decided to ask one last question. “G, any last thoughts?”

After a pause, he answered, “Lorenzo, I’m going to put on two hats- one as a businessman and the other as a social philosopher. There’s a huge market opportunity to create a franchise or chain like McDonald’s or Toys R Us to teach men and women the art of sophisticated love-making only. On the other hand, sex can warm up your home or burn it down, and it’s burning down lots of homes these days. Do we want more of it?”

Can a Man Learn to be a Lover? What does G have to say? “Women, first; Man, second!”

There’s so much written about men and sex that’s not reliable so I decided to go directly to the horse’s mouth and asked G about his advice to men, as I did in a previous post on advice to women on how to be a good lover.  (Periodically, I remind readers that he’s the guy I interviewed in my book, The Man Who Made Love to More Women than Casanova).

His initial response? Bursting out in laughter, he said, “It’s an extremely complicated question because there are so many variables. What do we mean by a lover? For a night? An occasional rendezvous? A single versus married person? Tired working parents with children? What age groups? What degree of horniness? And so on and so forth. But, as I said in the women post, I’m interested in high level sex, and this is what I’ll talk about. There’s nothing like it! ”

Then he emphasized what we discussed in the book. He claims that, generally speaking, both men and women are not good lovers. I asked him, “I appreciate your credentials about women but what do you base your opinion on about men?”

“Good question. During my personal experiences with hundreds of women many of them told me about their sexual experiences with men, oftentimes in detail. Maybe it’s different today, but I don’t think so. Basic instincts don’t change.”

“So, G, you must think that it’s a genetic factor, and it’s hopeless.”

G paused, and I could hear him puffing on his pipe. “Look, Lorenzo, to repeat, my sexual encounters were on a very high level with fairly high, top- of- the- line ladies. It usually involved dinner, drinks and engaging in enjoyable and stimulating conversation before we entered my suite. I did not book rooms for suites are much more effective in making a woman relax. If you’re not at home with your wife, I would strongly recommend this. Don’t ask me why. As I also mentioned in the book, the more beautiful, intelligent and attractive a woman, the more effort was required to bring her to climax. This usually means more suggestive talk, wine and sometimes other light stimulants, if you know what I mean.”

G suddenly stopped and said, “I can go on and on but I guess you want some simple guidelines. Right?”

“Right!”

He puffed away again and then said, “I want to repeat that there are lots of ways to have satisfying sexcapades, but here are a few of my personal basic guidelines for a man if, of course, he wants to become a good lover. I’m not sure many want to be because it takes lots of effort which can sometimes boomerang where the woman becomes disinterested or, as we say in the vernacular, ‘turned off.’  Let’s not forget that, if you think about it, it’s much, much easier for a woman to turn on a man than vice versa and, therefore, requires greater skill. Also, I hate to keep repeating myself, but there are all kinds of exceptions

“Anyway, before whoopee time you’ve got to talk to the woman about herself. I cannot stress this enough for it’s the door opener. Let me tell you it can be a beautiful experience. I didn’t have to develop this habit because it comes naturally to me.  If it doesn’t come natural to you, make a conscious effort to learn about and enjoy your woman.  The first step is, for God’s sake, don’t talk about yourself too much. I hardly ever did because, frankly speaking, I find talking about myself rather boring.  Be a sincere listener. Yes, I know that the ‘thing’ today is for men and women to talk about themselves and exchange experiences. Sure, it can be nice, but a talented male lover doesn’t do that. For the record, I’ll just add that there are exceptions to every rule- and I mean that.

“When whoopee time arrives, concentrate entirely on the woman until she comes to climax. Forget about yourself for the initial phase of good lovemaking to a woman should largely be a selfless act. I don’t give a shit what anyone says. What I read today coupled with my growing experience with modern women tells me that they are under a hell of a lot more stress than men.

“Before I forget, the belief that the perfect mating scene should be when both lovers have orgasms at the same time is a beautiful and romantic concept but only reserved for a few. To achieve this takes a hell of a lot of concentration which detracts from the pleasure of love-making. But to repeat, if it works, go for it.

“It’s critical to understand, at least in my experience and what my lady friends told me, that women’s post-orgasm energy levels are substantially different between the sexes. A man’s energy is usually spent, and he just wants to relax while a woman’s energy levels remain in almost full force. If a woman realizes that a man-made an obvious selfless effort to make her happy, particularly if it was successful, she’ll, because of her female natural instincts of giving, go out of her way to return the favor by being genuinely selfless trying to please the man. That’s the beautiful nature of women.

“Lorenzo, before I go on, let me dictate this poem to add to your post. It was written way back in Sumerian days, our earliest civilization, by the goddess, Inanna. It deals with  her sensual sexual encounter with the shepherd, Dumuzi. To arouse the guy it’s written that, ‘When she leaned back against the apple tree, her vulva was wondrous to behold.’”

‘He shaped my loins with his fair hands,

The shepherd Dumuzi filled my lap with cream and milk,

He stroked my pubic hair,

He watered my womb.

 He laid his hands on my vulva.

He caressed me on the bed.”

She continues:

“Bridegroom, let me caress you,

My precious caress is more savory than honey,

Let us enjoy your godly beauty,

Lion, let me caress you,

My precious caress is more savory than honey.’

 

“This may be the earliest document which confirms my belief that a woman’s pleasure should be first and a man’s second!

“ Back to my advice: Always start out slowly- and I mean slowly- even if she’s in a hurry. Lorenzo, you’ll notice in my interviews I always emphasize that based on my experience it’s the best way to maximize the brief ecstatic, pleasures of orgasms. Most of my lady friends told me that men move too quickly in love-making. Plato called the erection phase a state of ‘Divine madness’ so I understand the hurry. But a man must discipline himself. I almost always kept my activity at a measured, slow pace until pre-climax time. Now here’s the greater challenge and more difficult: In my experience, fantasy talk is really the key factor which can change a routine orgasm into a humongous one. Sex begins and ends in the brain and not the genitals. Remember the BGL (LINK TO BGL SUMMARY)? But, as I said many times before, the problem is that very few men and women are good at fantasy talk. A not too complicated way to handle this is just to coax the woman, be it in a command or in an encouraging tone of voice, to imagine the fantasy that turns her on the most. In my experience their fantasies are frequently related to some form of domination or betrayal and other out- of -control events. You don’t have to wait until disrobing time to get a good hint. Many times I found out during relaxed, dinner time discussions. An example with a married woman would be her fantasizing about her being in the married couple’s bed alone with her husband’s best friend. An example with a single woman would be to ask her what woman she most sexually attracted to and would like to be with her alone or with her boyfriend. There are many other type fantasies, which, to repeat, you may discover during dinner or drinks. If you elicit favorable initial responses, keep probing with other questions. Of course, the woman may not respond at all, so just back off and play it by ear.

“But, as I said in my previous posts to potential women lovers, a man better be sincere about this or be a superb con artist for if a woman detects that-and they are superb at this and much better than men- you’re faking it, her hormone level will immediately- and I mean immediately-shut down, and the party is over for the night, no matter what a man does. Sure she might go on but will want to get out of the sack in a hurry by  faking orgasms. A number of my lady friends told me that happened with them.”

“G, this may be an embarrassing question but did this ever happen to you?”

“You bet. It happened only once, and I’ll never forget it. I haven’t the slightest idea why it happened, but I blamed it on myself.”

“How did you know for sure that it happened?”

“Just take my word for it.

“That’s about it, Lorenzo.”

“One more question. How many times will it take a man to acquire these lover skills?”

G didn’t hesitate. “If his heart is in it, and if he has at least a modicum of the natural basic instincts and he works at it, and above all, enjoys the woman he’s with, I would say about three. The same holds true if he’s a superb con artist. But as with female con artists, it isn’t the same unless your objective is to please a woman for other reasons than sexual pleasure. And such reasons exist.”

“G, any final advice to men?”

“You bet! Now I want to re-emphasize I’m talking about high level sexual encounters. Most are not that way. My advice is the same for both men and women but usually at different times during the sex act. At the right time take Casanova’s advice.”

“And what’s that, G?”

“Be the flame and not the moth!”

Can a Woman Learn to be a Lover? What does G have to say?

Though G made love to about 300 women, he claims that very few lady lovers really lighted up his candles on an artful, elevated level. I suggested that maybe it’s because he usually had marathon- intense type sessions paying almost exclusive attention to them, and they simply were too satiated and hapily exhausted to have enough energy to pay sufficient attention to him. But he quickly dismissed this possibility.  He firmly believes that the vast majority of women, like men, are mediocre lovers. He said that after their orgasms women are still energized and capable to continue with the sexual act while men are usually big-time relaxed, out of gas and just want to take a break or call it a day.

He said, “Look, Lorenzo, women have many more weapons to stimulate the sexual passions of men than men have for women. No matter what the modern propaganda is spewing out, men are big time hornier and infinitely more easily to stimulate than women. Men don’t have tits with cleavages to sensually flaunt them, beauty- enhancing make-up, particularly around the eyes, and sensuous asses.”

G paused and said, “I may take part of that back. I, would you believe, met a few women who were turned on by Mel Gibson’s ass. They were older ones. By the way, some said the same about my rear end, but that’s all I’ll say about that.”

G was really puzzled why women with so many sexual stimulating weapons hardly use or know how to use them. (Let’s not forget that he’s talking about having sex on a very high, sophisticated level). I decided to cut to the quick and asked, “G, what advice would you give to a woman to make her a bona fide lover like you?”

For some unknown reason, this question rubbed G wrong, and he shot back, “Lorenzo, I don’t like to be called a bona fide lover, and let’s drop that label.”

“Okay; let’s get to the point: How does a woman become a talented lover when it comes to a man?”

“There is no specific physical formula or recipe like, for example, the composition of the earth’s crust or fiori di zucchini.  But there is one word that explains it all. It’s teasing!”

“G, if that’s true, why don’t we hear or see this word more often? The literature on sex advice is enormous, and I periodically scan it to see what’s going on. I don’t remember coming across that word except for now and then.”

“Who the hell knows? We can talk about this forever but let me give you the skinny with a few comments, and I’ll try not to sound like a professor of logic. I discussed the teasing art technique with the small number of the women who effectively teased me, and we were all in sync.

“In my vocabulary, teasing is a form of seduction. Generally speaking, during foreplay and the sexual act men prefer to be teased or seduced while women prefer to be dominated. Now there are two parts to teasing- the mental and physical. I can’t emphasize enough that both must generally be performed slowly, unlike delightful orgasm quickies which can effectively rid the mind of agita– for a short time.

“It all starts with the mystery and magic of body language from how she moves to the expression on her face. It’s what she wears, how she walks and how she talks. For example, my lady friends all agree that woman wearing high heels sitting with a short skirt pulled half-way up the thighs with her legs crossed stimulate men more than being naked and walking around with high heels. For the record, whether it’s true or not, the ladies tell me that the more sophisticated males are not that much turned on by stiletto heels. They also agree that regardless of breast size, it’s best to wear a top that has a suggestive cleavage, which becomes more effective when leaning forward. I can tell that in the foreplay phase, a bare-chested woman is nowhere as sensual as one with partially covered breasts which are seductively exposed. If done right, breast size, my friend, doesn’t matter. It’s all in the presentation along with her other wares.

“And then there’s the face and the eyes, those mirrors of the soul. The whole hit has to be inviting. Either you have that look or you don’t. It’s interesting to note that this quality, unlike some others, many women naturally have but don’t employ it, which is both a mystery and tragedy!

“Lorenzo, there’s so much, much more that a woman can do; for example, when and how to disrobe and how to twang instead of twerk. Once more, all these movements must be done slowly. I can write a book about this. Don’t get your hopes up, my friend, it ain’t going to happen!”

‘G, one more point. You’re talking about foreplay but what about initiating the real thing?”

“Okay; then I’ll say no more. The hands of a woman are extremely important in this phase but, now don’t think I’m going overboard, but they’re not great at using them. It puzzles the hell out of me. My lady friends, by the way, tell me the same about men. Hands should be receptively and firmly soft slowly probing men’s G spots including the face. While doing so and with a soft tone of voice, she should ask questions like, ‘Do you like this?’ or ‘Am I getting close?’ or ‘Shall I move on?’ while her her hands are still on the body parts either moving or at rest.

“And the man must be convinced that she is entirely selfless and dedicated to her goal to teasing him not with the language of a therapist but with sincere vocal tones that she really means it. I believe a woman will really enjoy the teasing approach once she learns and gets comfortable with it. To repeat, why they don’t do these enough puzzles the shit out of me. And let me repeat; I’m talking about high level sex which is an art form that must be developed and nurtured.”

I then asked, “G, can this approach be taught or is it an innate instinct?”

“That’s a great question, Lorenzo. Somebody, and I’m serious about this, should open “The Art of Teasing School for Women”, and my gut feeling is that a man should head it: Maybe with a woman. It could earn a ton of money which then can be franchised like McDonald’s!”

As a goad, I asked, “G, would you like to establish the first one?”

He laughed heartily and answered, “Lorenzo, I’m happy with my cabin in the mountains and my pad in Manhattan. These modern women who I’m meeting are certainly different than my 300 in the past. But, on second thought, not fundamentally so. Not yet. Who knows?”

*Part 2 on men will follow.

Are Orgasms Healthy For You? (You May Not Want To Read This!)

orgasm

 

We all like good news. Those of you who read my posts, however, may find it annoying that I periodically mention that a significant percentage of clinical studies are flawed and their conclusions not valid. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is. These studies even include sophisticated clinical ones conducted by medical experts at our prestigious medical institutions.

I’ve been searching the medical-health literature to find out whether orgasms are good for your health. Now you may not want to hear this, but the overwhelming majority of positive clinical reports were very unprofessional and seriously flawed, way more than in other medical studies. That’s not to say that the conclusions aren’t correct, but the data don’t support them.

Why is this so? There are number of reasons, one major one being that sexual benefits of health are not of as much interest to expert research doctors as, for example, the treatment of lung or breast cancer or manic depression. As a result, many of the studies are not designed and conducted by medical experts but usually by less disciplined investigators where the results are questionable. Also, sex is a very “hot” field, and men and women are understandably eager to embrace any type of information which is oftentimes misinformation.  Because of this huge market-demand for sex information, there is a constant push and a rush to publish any kind of sex information regardless of the quality. Currently, there aren’t many places to find out the truth about sex and so this pattern, unfortunately, will continue for the foreseeable future.

Let’s take, as an example of exaggerated sex claims, a recent Huffington Post piece, “The 5 Health Benefits of Orgasms” where it is claimed that clinical research studies support that having only one orgasm a week has the following health benefits:

  • Reduces the risk of mild depression
  • Offers a 36% reduction of heart disease
  • Boosts the immune system
  • Fights the effects of chronic pain
  • Strengthens the pelvic floor to keep everything in place and not leaking*

FYI, almost everything dramatically improves mild depression, including just the passing of time or a placebo. If only a once-a-week orgasm reduces heart disease by 36%, an incredibly dishonest claim, then nymphomaniacs should have the healthiest hearts of all! To my knowledge no one has looked into this possibility.

The Huffington Post writes about Karen Lorre, an actress and former Playmate, who describes her orgasm experience in, “Karen Lorre Has 11 Orgasms in One Day Thanks to ‘Orgasmic Meditation’.” She claims that the latter is a “…source of unlimited energy that’s found in all of us.” FYI, none of us has unlimited energy and few can have 11 orgasms a day- Orgasmic Meditation or no.

There are other orgasm-benefit claims such as prolonging life or longevity. To prove this in a medical study would, let’s say, require studying about 600,000 volunteers from birth to death dividing them into three groups: the first is never permitted to have an orgasm for their entire lives, not even by masturbation; the second once, a week and the third, twice a week. The volunteers must be constantly monitored to make sure they stick to their orgasm program. But maybe that won’t be necessary. The average life span of an American is about 77 years with women living to be about 80. That of Catholic nuns, however, is 86 years. One, therefore, can already make the argument that abstinence from orgasms prolongs life! That’s not farfetched for caloric reduction by the reduction of food intake significantly prolongs life in certain animals.

In conclusion, there are very few solid clinical studies that support the health benefit of orgasms. The good news is that there are reasonable clinical studies which report that sexual intercourse does not increase the risk of heart attacks even in most patients with heart disease. Regarding other significant risks in the pursuit and achievement of orgasms, there’s  the economic one- but that’s another story.

*I’m assuming that the male pelvic floor is not included because, to my knowledge, it doesn’t leak.

The Need for Celibacy: Sister Teresa Versus Marilyn Monroe

TheresaMarilyn

The Wall Street Journal recently published an interview with the French novelist, Sophie Fontanel –  Sophie Fontanel on ‘Sleeping Alone’. Because of her consistent disappointment with her sexual encounters with men, she gave up lying on her back for 12 years and didn’t regret it for she found it to be a more acceptable option. “When you are alone, you are free.” She claims to have learned more about the qualities of a strong relationship. At age 50 she changed her mind and, once more, ventured under the sheets with men.

I don’t need to convince you that we have entered the Age of Orgasms. There are powerful, huge money -earning market forces that, 24/7, keep pushing the need to have sex in all spheres of life to such an extent that even virgin high school students are forced, under peer pressure, to place on their bucket lists the objective to have sex with a male before entering college. Virgins, like last name mentionings, are fast disappearing.

There are, however, no huge, money-earning market forces selling the need of celibacy. What could be sold? A DVD on celibacy? Can a TV show “Celibate Girls” match the earnings of “Girls Gone Wild”?  Apart from religious organizations, try to name a single big money- making commercial operation selling celibacy!

Though it is self- evident, sex is more than the actual momentary sex act itself be it pleasurable or displeasurable. It’s involved with the mind and how they both , Ping-Pong-like, impact one another. Also, the same holds true with celibacy. There are a few definitions of celibacy but let me give you the working one for this post. It’s when someone, either living alone, married or else in a long –time living together relationship, foregoes sexual intercourse. It can be for short or long- term periods depending on the life’s circumstances and the temperament of the man or woman.

As with many of life’s situations, there are little solid data on the nature of celibacy and, apart from religious reasons, why people prefer it. Let’s assume there are two major reasons. Firstly, is that they are not physically stimulated enough to pursue it and secondly, the risk/benefit ratio rules against it. For example, one can desire sex but the conditions in which they can have it results in more pain than pleasure as exemplified in Ms. Fontanel’s experience.

Millions of men and women are not turned on by sex, and it should not be a medical surprise. They can live either without it or on a limited basis mostly to please another. Celibacy is a natural biological state. There are people who talk a lot, those who remain silent and those in between. There are folks who eat a lot, those who eat little and those in between, and there are people who sleep a lot and those hardly at all and, you guessed it, those in between.

For cultural reasons, celibates are silent and reluctant to speak openly about the fact that the search for orgasms is not on their bucket lists.

Now to the irrefutable observation poised as a question that I mention periodically in my posts: “Has peace of mind and general tranquility increased with the dramatic increase in sexual activity due to the sexual revolution?” Let me ask another one. “Who do you think was a more contented person? Mother Teresa or Marilyn Monroe?”

Think about it.

A Brief Summary of DeFelice’s Brain Genital Law or BGL: From the Garden of Eden to Modern America

Many of my posts are somehow related to DeFelice’s Brain Genital Law or BGL  (www.thedecrapitationsociety.com). The doctor is quite on target. He claims that, like with gravity and chemistry, there must be a Sex Law which explains the nature of sexual behavior. He describes, in evolutionary terms, that in order to propagate the race and produce offspring, the brain has created a multitude of difficult to resist, sexually stimulatory mechanisms to encourage copulation between a man and women. In doing so, however, the BGL has not yet become target-specific to the copulation between a man and woman only but broadly nondiscriminatory  leading to all types of sexual expression from cross- dressing to homosexuality to snuff movies and, now, to sexting ones genitals and rear ends. He claims these expressions are all natural, amoral acts and should be understood as such by our society.

But then he stresses that all societies, civilized or not, have primarily encouraged heterosexual acts through the institution of marriage significantly limiting other modes of sexual expressions by legal or cultural regulations. He claims that there is a critical message to such limitations which we are ignoring in our sexual liberation movement by too rapidly deregulating sexual behavior and ignoring the warning lessons of history.

His conclusion? We must deregulate the BGL at a much slower rate in order to more wisely accommodate and more wisely regulate it. If not, individual and cultural chaos will follow, and the government will step in to heavily limit its free expression. He claims it is inevitable.

Interesting stuff, indeed. Give it a read.

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