Tag Archives: sex

G’s Amorous Reflections on Women’s Lips, Teeth, Cheeks, Chins, Ears, Nose, Necks and Hair

Body Parts - woman's head

It was one of those rare nights that I wished I had videoed for romantic men and women to behold. It happened at G’s home during dinner with an attractive elderly widow oozing with class. As usual, it was a happy, stimulating and extremely tasty one- the food, that is. He prepared straccetti, taglierini with peas with an unidentifiable sauce, a knockout, and a small tomato, cucumber and shallot salad covered with finely chopped mint. The guy really knows how to prepare simple, tasty dishes.

It so happens that the widow has exceptionally beautiful and expressive eyes as Shakespeare, Keats or some other poet once described as the mirrors of the soul. During dinner, G, with a Brindisi, saluted the beauty of her eyes, and we all drank an amount of wine that was more than the traditional sip.  Suddenly, as G usually does when in deep thought, he stared at the ceiling in silence. He broke the silence by saying, “You know, I never thought of this.” The widow, broadly smiling and curious as hell, asked, “G, what didn’t you think of, my love? I’m holding my breath in anticipation!”

In the book, G described two phases when meeting a woman with promise; play first and flirting, second. If the playing phase makes them connect, then he goes into the more serious phase of flirting in order to capture her amorous interest. When she called him, “My love”, his instincts immediately took him to the play phase, but he quickly tried to dismiss it because it didn’t fit the moment- but couldn’t.

“Look my love; you have beautiful, enchanting eyes, and apart from the entire hit of observing both body and mind of women, what I remember most about them are their eyes. My gosh, only God can create the infinity of messages which they send out. What I was thinking about are their lips, teeth, cheeks, foreheads, chins, ears, nose, necks and hair, all individual parts from the base of the neck to the top of the head along with some of my romantic remembrances of the past.  The brain has always been a great mystery to me, and I often wonder why and how it connects things, in even a millisecond, as I just did. Why in God’s name did I think of these individual things when I was looking at your beautiful eyes? I should have been thinking of eyes or other things- if you know what I mean!” (That last remark was due to his play instincts. He just can’t help it)!

The widow, smiling broadly and flattered, said, “But you can’t drop the subject now or you’ll ruin our dinner. You got our curiosity up, and, my old friend, it would be bad manners not to continue.”

“I understand but the subject matter is broader than broad, and it would take lots of time to refresh my memory about all those features. Maybe the next time we have dinner.”

The widow rebutted, “Not acceptable, and I have an idea which will make it easy for you. Let’s play Freud and his technique of free association that he used with his patients. He would say one or a few word and the patients would respond with the first thing that comes to mind without time to think about it. When I say a word to you just say what immediately jumps to mind. You don’t have to think-only react. Is that okay?”

G remained silent, loaded his pipe, smiled and said, “You’re a very creative and persuasive woman. I wonder what it would be like to fall in love with you.”  There followed a moment of silence when they both just looked at each other transmitting, God knows, all kinds of play messages. There would be no flirting that night.  He then broke the silence and, as if he was a soldier ready to storm the enemy’s stronghold as in the poem, The Charge of the Light Brigade, said, “Shoot! Let’s go!”

“Cheeks!”

“I was neutral to them, but I have a friend who finds a woman’s cheeks- the ones on the face- the sexist part of a woman that turns him on the most: Also, a middle aged woman wearing leggings at my coffee hangout this morning who had an extraordinary sensual real end, and she knew it. I wondered why she put herself on display. Though we wrote about leggings before, I thought about it since, and Lorenzo, it’s a complicated subject. Let’s do another post on it.

“Wait a minute; when talking about sex I’m supposed to talk about the women and not myself. That’s the deal that Lorenzo and I made. Let’s change the subject. ”

The widow slowly and gracefully leaned toward him, gently placed her warm hand on his exposed forearm, searchingly looked him in the eyes and, in a way that no man could refuse, pleaded, “G, can’t you make an exception for me tonight?”

G immediately melted, smiled and said, “You win, baby; go ahead.”

“Hair!”

“Porphyria’s Love: It’s a Robert Browning poem where the guy strangles the woman he loves with her own very long hair. Also, after a woman has her orgasms and in order to complete the beauty of the act and make her relax, place the open palm of the hand with the bottom fleshy segment on her forehead and put firm but gentle pressure on it and kind of massage it clock and counter clockwise and periodically caress where the forehead meets the hairline and very softly but briefly periodically run your fingers through her hair. Also, in the 60’s I was at an opera rehearsal where Tito Gobbi, one of the great operatic baritones of all time, was with his lady friend who had a high forehead which made her extremely attractive- but not sensually so. The late singer, Peggy Lee also had a classic high forehead which added to her beauty; also, speaking of hair, though I didn’t do it much; with a woman that’s into pain and fully aroused, pulling her hair while slapping her and talking fantasy domination frequently provokes extraordinary orgasms. But, as with most amorous moves, timing is critical.

“Before I go on, I want to stress it’s the total body language of the head and neck, besides, of course, the rest of the body that has the overall sensual impact. She can be extremely beautiful, but doesn’t have that woman instinct of sensuality. This has happened a number of times in my experience. Also, when thinking about the various head zones, I want to re-emphasize the eyes in most cases are the major hormonal magnetic force. You know the famous Ben Jonson poem made into song with the opening line ‘Drink to me only with thine eyes and I’ll not thirst for wine’, please notice it doesn’t say with thine nostrils, ears, teeth or Adams apple!”

“Teeth!”

G burst out into laughter and said, “That’s a challenging one to verbalize. I’ve never read or heard about how a woman’s teeth play a role in bringing her to climax but in my experience, though not common, it can, but not alone, of course, but together with her gums. Again, as with other moves, you don’t start out with them but only when a woman is fully aroused, and you’d be surprise how many women like it and, if I remember correctly, all of them experienced it for the first time. Generally speaking, making love should not be a continuous process and intermittent pauses markedly increase a woman’s arousal level. During this pause, I sometimes use my forefinger and massage a woman’s teeth and gums where they meet. It maintains their arousal level. Keep the massage brief for it loses its effectiveness after a brief period of time. It all depends on how you judge she is responding. It can also turn them off”

“Go on; Ears!”

“You have to be careful here, and I’m now thinking of one of the most sensual women who I met. It happened in Copenhagen. She had everything a man can wish for; a rare natural seductress. I often wonder what happened to her over the years. She had very sensitive ears which she wasn’t aware of and which I discovered that a number of other women also didn’t know they had until I made it happen. As everyone knows, there are mainly three ways to approach it. One is massaging them with your fingers; the other is nibbling on the ear lobes and the third is placing a stiff tongue or finger in the ear canal. I must emphasize that the tongue must be stiff. Earrings interfere with ear-loving so I have the woman take them off right at the start of the episode when she’s relaxed and made up her mind to spend time with me. I want to repeat that, from the start, when dealing with the entire neck- head zones, one should be doing other things such as firmly putting pressure on the clitoris with your thumb and forefinger or knee and/or talking the right talk which is, in my experience and when put everything together, the greatest aphrodisiac.

“Necks!”

“Zeus, the chief God in Greek mythology and an extremely horny one, fell in love with an earthling, Leda. For some reason, in order to please her, he turned himself into a white swan with a very long, sensuous neck which length is much longer than the longest human erection recorded which is a little over twelve inches. As a result, she had children, one being Helen of Troy ‘the face that launched a thousand ships’ in Homer’s description of the Trojan War. It doesn’t take an imagination to figure out what Zeus did. Also, Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, had a chariot driven by long -necked swans. Maybe that qualified her to be the goddess of love.  As with most all uses of the tongue, be it on the clitoris or elsewhere, it should be stiff and firm. I found that oftentimes licking is a downer be it on the neck or elsewhere. But this has always puzzled me: It’s most difficult to judge a woman’s hormonal response by kissing or tonguing the neck. They, in my experience, almost always remain still and voiceless. But, Lorenzo, as I said in previous post, in certain women who like a domination approach, not all, their greatest orgasms occur when I firmly place both of my hands around their necks right under the chin and squeeze just short of choking:  But actually choking them brought on humongous orgasms. I frequently had to stop- not one ever asked me to stop- out of sheer fear that they would expire!  Also, I remember a woman wearing a low cut blouse while we were having lunch and drinking lots of white wine in a small piazza in Rome eating lots of fritto misto.  She had the most beautiful neck ever- almost like Zeus’s swan, and, would you believe, just by admiring it, it destroyed my libido. It was like a beautiful, sculptured work of art made only to behold and admired and not to be touched.”

“Lips!”

“The woman who I met in Costa Rica: Now I’m not talking about kissing but the visual impact of the lips. She was on a motorcycle who I met after leaving a restaurant and invited me to hop on the back for a ride. One primary reason that I agreed, would you believe, was because, besides the overall hit of her sensuality, she had inviting fleshy lips which sent out a broader message of a receptive woman. As I mentioned before, I had to teach most of my women how to kiss the way that I like it- searching, soft and very slow in the beginning and more vigorous when they are approaching full arousal. Silicone lips, though they are attractive, are no fun to kiss. Like silicone breast and rear- ends, they are turn-offs for two reasons. One is that silicone women are generally less passionate than the others, for whatever reasons, and secondly, I constantly worry that they may burst, and I wonder whether they have the same concerns and maybe that’s why they are less passionate. Speaking about silicone asses, there was a recent report that white women are increasingly having them enlarged to rival the bountiful black rear-ends.

“Enough, my love. Enough, Lorenzo. No more Freud. I’m out of gas, and let’s have a cognac.”

And then something fascinating happened. Now it’s me, Lorenzo, talking. After our cognacs and some small talk to relax the remaining moments, I remarked, “My friends, this was really an unusual night and hopefully, if G agrees, let’s have repeat.” Then came the fascinating moment: The widow said, “I’m all for that, but next time I want G to play Freud and perform free association on me.”

And, surprisingly, G answered, “Why not?” The evening then came to a close.

At breakfast the next morning I asked G if he was serious about agreeing. He, with the broadest of smiles and a sparkle in his eyes, repeated,“Why Not?” I sensed that the play phase was over, and the possibility of the flirtation phase had entered his mind.

The God Zeus as a seductive long-necked swan

The God Zeus as a Swan Ready to Seduce

G’s Argument: There’s no Difference between Rape and Female Seduction

seductive woman, art of seduction, men groveling, reporter and the girl, jon and sabrien, interracial blog, personal blog, women's weapon of seduction, dating

At the end of our last post G made a highly controversial statement that there’s little difference between a man raping a woman and a woman seducing a man. If this opinion came from an ordinary man, I would think he’s nuts and just ignore him. But G ain’t no ordinary man, particularly when it comes to sex. I called him and said that because of its provocative and controversial message that he’s obligated to give us an explanation in more detail. He, without hesitation, agreed.

“Lorenzo, American leaders who influence what we believe in from the economy to politics, lack balls when it comes to women and sex. They’re scared shit to say anything negative about women, but don’t hesitate to blame the man. Anyway, let me begin by saying –out loud- that men are far, far and far hornier than women. Though it is so well-known and needs no proof, let me give you a quantifiable fact: The overwhelming percentage of people who watch Internet porn and jerk-off while watching it are men. They are far, far and far more susceptible to losing their sexual control than women. Don’t let anyone fool you who hold the position that men “willingly” submit to a seductress. It’s bullshit in spades! In a real sense it’s like rape in that, in both cases, a man and woman lose their sexual freedom whether to submit or not submit to a sexual act.

“In my lifetime I’ve spent some time with about a dozen women who, if they wanted to, could easily seduce most men-and they all knew it! In our book I call them manizers. I discussed this ability with a few of them which we can talk about in future post. They have that X factor which is not definable. When you hear about squealer women- and-, with certain exceptions, I don’t like squealers of any type—who reveal their escapades with mostly married men who are rich and famous, there’s little doubt that many of them seduced those poor guys. What happens, however, is, as I said, the guy always gets the blame when it’s the woman who is the culprit. The man takes a damaging heavy hit on his life, and the courts almost always rule in favor of the squealer chick, and the guy also often takes another hit on his finances. And, would you believe, the squealer chick walks away, unscathed like she’s the pure, innocent one. My point is that there should be, as with rape, a law against certain types of seduction. There’s little doubt these seducing women rob men of their free will as a man robs a woman of her free will in rape.

“Let’s take the case of our former president, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. He’s a good looking, extremely charming man and was then the most powerful man in the world- and a very horny one. It’s interesting to note that President Kennedy and Benjamin Franklin were extremely horny men, but had much more experience in releasing their sexual hormones yet, unlike Clinton, they got away with it. Now most men would characterize Monica by a word that is rarely heard these days. It’s ‘sultry’. As I said before, words were not made to define but to communicate, but I would describe it as a woman who is fleshy, deceptive, sensually receptive and confident. Now Monica is sultry enough to be considered that way by many men. Her fleshy lips, let’s say, stand out.

“I have a hunch that when she was in Mr. Clinton’s office she wasn’t wearing a burlap bag and lipstick-less. Maybe afterwards? She went for it- and who can blame her- and seduced the president. It always intrigues me how a blow-job can alter the history of a great nation like the United States. There’s something wacky about that. She could have turned him off but, instead, she knew what she was doing and decided to seduce him by making him lose his free will. In this sense, she raped him, not the other way around.

Remember Mike Tyson, the former heavyweight champion who was accused of rape by a woman and spent a lot of time in prison. He invited this lady to his room and she accepted. Why did she accept? Because he offered her tea and biscuits? Because she believed he was a homosexual and not a heterosexual and had nothing to fear? Her willing acceptance, in my book, is an act of seduction. What else would a man think when she accepted, particularly when you’re very horny, famous and a hot item? I remember having a conversation with my Italian friend who described what happened at dinner with his mother and her Italian lady friends when discussing this affair. “She had no business going to his room”, was the opening remark. The ladies put the blame squarely on her shoulders all agreeing that Mike was duped into a kind of sexual entrapment situation. They all, which is interesting to note, agreed that, because she was to blame, she also should have gone to jail.”

“G, I get what you’re saying but you can’t be serious when you say that seduction is the same as rape?”

“Lorenzo, let me finish. I’m not saying this because it’s not a black or white issue and loaded with gray zones. I full well realize the brutality of rape, but I just want to raise the point by asking this question: “Who suffers more- the guy whose life is ruined by a cunning seductress or a woman who has been raped one time? Look what’s happening at our universities where I believe the administrators play out their sexual fantasies on the students. They put them together in dormitories where they drink, drug and gals walk around thinly garbed with partially bare breasts showing and accentuated rear ends frequenting the same lavoratories provoking hard-ons. And the horny guys always get blamed after the gals turned them on, make whoopee with them, then blame the guys who invariably get the blame and the accompanying punishment. It’s the gals’ word against the guys, and the scared shit administrators invariably rule in favor of the gals.

“After this mingling of the sexes first began, I had dinner with a dean and his wife, good people, at my home. I voiced my concern that men at that age with testosterone mightily flowing to the brain and genital zones would be walking around with erections and thinking of sex instead of mathematics and Aristotle’s classic book on ethics. And the women, fully aware of men’s horniness and armed with contraceptives, would naturally be tempted to seduce men. They brushed my concerns aside and said they all are used to it, and it is not nor will it be a problem. Now look what’s happening!

“Look, Lorenzo, true rape is an abominable act, and the guys should pay the price. In my old Italian neighborhood, if a guy raped a lady, he would risk his life if he walked around the neighborhood because the guys would beat the shit out of him. But what I’m saying is that destructive seduction, be it teasing or more in depth, should not be given a free pass in male-female sexual controversies.”

“Okay, G: What’s the solution? You’ve just presented a complicated subject which it’s difficult to determine what is true rape or true seduction where both a man and woman lose their free will to consensual sex. Do you have one?”

I could hear G puffing on his pipe and sipping his martini which is a signal that he’s heavy in thought. Out of the blue G blurted out, “President Kennedy once said, ‘Life is not fair’.” He then returned into his cocoon of silence once more thinking, puffing and sipping away. “Lorenzo, we have all kinds of laws and policies regarding the definition of the act of rape which vary with each state and organizations. It’s time we have the same safeguards for men. Someone should write a prototype law- let’s call it the Female Seduction Entrapment Law- based on the indisputable fact that men are much, much hornier than women, have less free will in the act of sex and should factor in any controversial sex dispute regarding who’s the blame and who should pay the emotional and financial price. Tough to do but obligatory in order to reduce increasing sexual chaos. Then states and others can review it and consider it in broadening their rape laws to include seduction.

“Lorenzo, don’t you know Bill Cosby?”

“Yes, but not well.”

“How would do you think a fair way would be to handle his situation? What would be the proper legal approach?”

“G, that type of solution is in your territory so why don’t you come up with it?”

There was brief pause, and I could hear his puffing rate increase. He then replied, “You bet-in a future post.”

How Benjamin Franklin’s Sex Life Saved the American Revolution- and His Letter to a Very Horny Friend

Franklin and les belles mademoiselles at the French Court

Franklin and les belles mademoiselles at the French Court

Historians almost invariably miss little or not highly visible events that have huge historic impacts. Surely, Julius Caesar’s big, long term amorous and dramatic political relationship with Cleopatra changed history but so did Benjamin Franklin’s sex life. He was probably the horniest major political figure in American history. Thomas Jefferson noted that when in a room with lots of ladies, it took all of Franklin’s will power to control himself. He was undoubtedly a ladies’ man. He adored women, and they adored him.

Because of his impressive intellectual and practical achievements, he was a very popular and highly respected man, particularly in Europe. He went to Great Britain trying unsuccessfully over a number of years to convince King George III that his policies in the American colonies were oppressive, and the Americans wouldn’t stand for it. But one other possible reason he stayed so long was because the women of the King’s Court, as well as others, were nuts about the guy and, let’s say, very available. Having failed to convince the king, he then went to France for a number of years, in part, because he found the women extremely attractive- more so than in Britain, and, once more, available, but more deliciously so. In addition to his arguments to King Louis XVI, he persuaded a number of the ladies in high positions to convince their men to convince the king to send troops to help Washington during the American Revolution to help fight against the Brits. And so he did. Without the help of the French troops Washington may have failed, and America would never have come to be- and neither all of you reading this post!

The following letter was written by him to another very horny friend who didn’t want to get married to relieve his horniness but Franklin urged him to do so, but with an older woman. Some of you ladies may find it offensive but remember it was written with tongue in cheek. On the other hand, remember that without this man you would never have been born in a free country to have the privilege of criticizing him.

Ben Franklin’s Advice Concerning His Friend’s Sexual Affairs

Franklin had a friend who did not want to get married, but was battling with urges and lustful inclinations for the opposite sex. In the letter which follows, Franklin first advises the friend that the best solution for his urges is marriage. However, since he knows the friend will not take that advice, Franklin goes on to suggest that his friend have sexual affairs with old women. We know from the context that he is suggesting women over 45 years of age (see #3). His words about putting a basket over her head or turning out the light (see #5) illustrate an aspect of Franklin’s character which is seldom exposed.

June 25, 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. You Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, by they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Oeconomy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

  1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stored with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreeable.
  2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, the study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Dimunition of Beauty by the Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
  3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produced may be attended with much Inconvenience.
  4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting and Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclined to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
  5. Because in every animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: the Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an Old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
  6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
  7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
  8. They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly;

being sincerely Your affectionate Friend Benjamin Franklin.

Vive la France! Franklin charming the French.

Vive la France! Franklin charming the French.

Where Have All The Virgins Gone? By Endorfina

Botticelli’s “Three Graces” from Primavera, 1481

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average age of Americans who lose their virginities (defined here as vaginal sexual intercourse) is 17.1 for both men and women. The CDC also reports that virgins make up 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of males aged 20 to 24. That number drops below 5 percent for both male and female virgins aged 25 to 29 and goes as low as 0.3 percent for virgins aged 40 to 44.

I found these interesting facts published in an article in March issue of The Atlantic, “On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss” by JonFortenbury. The author reports “those who don’t have sex during their teen years are in the minority, but the reasons for – and effects of – waiting differ for everyone. Of course the CDC statistics only represent heterosexual penile-vaginal sex. The question of “what is virginity?” obviously has a different answer in the LGBT community. And straight people, too, sometimes feel that oral or anal sex counts as virginity loss. Still, the most common definition of virginity loss is penile-vaginal intercourse, as Planned Parenthood points out on its website.”

Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky gave a whole new meaning to “having sex” that had a memorable historic impact. Monica is back in the headlines this week reminding us of her sexcapades with the President as a 19 year old White House intern. She is speaking out against bullying by the media and trying to help others. According to Bill, “he did not have sex with that woman”, so perhaps she was still a virgin. Sadly for Monica, her last name became synonymous with the sexual act of fellatio. WOR’s Mark Simone takes us down a Monica Memory Lane by posting Bill’s famous video interrogation about sex on his website.

The Atlantic article continues “Statistically, if you didn’t have sex in your teen years, you’re in the minority. But most people I asked in my unscientific poll felt virginity loss wasn’t “late” if the person was still college-aged. Many thought 25 was the first late age. One friend told me that for secular people, “late” is 20 and older, and for religious people, 40 and older. The popular 1999 film American Pie suggests that late is freshman year of college. And the character Jess (played by Zooey Deschanel) on New Girl stated in a flashback in a recent episode, ‘In three years, I’ll be 25. I can’t rent my first car as a virgin. They’ll know’.”

For better or worse, there is a difference between the sexes and the experience of losing one’s virginity. I do not have a daughter. My son is in his early 20’s and I have shared many anxiety fraught conversations with mothers of girls on the other side of puberty. Loss of virginity in high school was common place for both sexes. Raging hormones, peer pressure, alcohol and sometimes drugs or perhaps just for fun played a role in the loss of virginity. Some were in relationships and others had multiple partners. Often the girls were more aggressive than the boys, particularly when they entered college. Access to birth control was easy. Many of the moms confided they wanted to be sure their daughters had access to the pill for fear of unplanned pregnancy. When this particular age group continued to college as freshmen in 2010, sex was just a regular routine for most – like a good movie or a tasty meal.

I do know a handful of young women in different parts of the country who entered their freshman year of college as virgins. Some were ashamed of their sexual status to the point it made me think of Hester Prynne in Nathanial Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter. Instead of Hester’s scarlet A for adultery in puritanical times, they are burdened with a shameful V for virgin in contemporary times.

During my 90 year old mother’s generation virginity was considered a treasure sacredly saved for marriage. When the pill arrived in the 70s, many college women took advantage of that revolutionary safety net for the fear of pregnancy was gone and replaced the virtue of virginity.

Now it seems you are considered a bit of a freak if you are still a virgin in college. I personally know of a few sweet girls who were very studious and doing well their freshman year, with one exception – they were virgins. Unfortunately, privacy is a thing of the past and sex is a hot topic to be discussed openly in groups of peers or on social media. So everyone knew. These young ladies of 18 were determined to shed their shameful “V” status, despite the fact that they had no boyfriend in the picture or a raging libido. It was a “first” to get over with – like trying an exotic food or riding a bike! I wonder what their own advice will be to their daughters or sons years from now. My advice to any remaining virgins, or single women in general, is to cherish your privacy and carefully select your experiences, for they will last a lifetime!

On the lighter side, I recommend watching the new television series “Jane: The Virgin” on WPIX. It is the story of Jane, a young Hispanic girl, who has tried to do everything right in her life from studying hard to become a teacher to remaining a virgin until she marries her boyfriend of two years. She tries to overcompensate for her mother, who had an unplanned pregnancy at age 16, and never revealed the father’s identity. She chose to have her baby (Jane) and raise her with her abuela‘s or grandmother’s help. Jane’s abuela is very old world Spanish and passionately lectures her granddaughter at a very young age on the importance of remaining a virgin until marriage.

One day Jane goes to her doctor for a routine PAP smear and patient records get mixed up. She fatefully receives artificial insemination instead and soon discovers, much to her surprise, she is a pregnant virgin! Her mother believes her lament that she is still a virgin and falls to her knees to thank God for La Immaculata, the virgin birth. Chaos ensues within the family. There is a developing story about the donor father, who didn’t know his frozen sperm was defrosted by his scheming unfaithful wife, who got the PAP smear meant for Jane.

All sorts of issues, both serious and entertaining, are raised. I recommend you tune in to watch these episodes on demand and follow the story. There is humor and pathos and lessons to be learned.  I predict Jane will have the baby and still remain a virgin until she marries!

While searching for a picture to highlight this post, I came across this wonderful poem by Robert Herrick for your reading pleasure!

TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME.
by Robert Herrick


G
ATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
    Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
    To-morrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
    The higher he’s a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
    And nearer he’s to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
    When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
    Times still succeed the former.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
    And while ye may go marry:
For having lost but once your prime
    You may forever tarry.

 virgins

 

Nipplemania and Testicle Tightening – Make-overs For The Man in Your Life! by Endorfina

nipples

David Beckham has the ‘perfect, almond-shaped nipple’ according to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons

Much has been written on this site about what tempting ingredients complete the recipe for the perfect woman. Is it buxom breasts, a bountiful booty or delightful derriere, seductive eyes, a charming personality, a clever mind or a witty sense of humor? Lorenzo and G have happily debated this hormonal conundrum at length. Their professional diagnosis is the BGL or Brain Genital Law.

 I just heard a report that made me think about the other side of the coin. What are the qualities of the perfect man?

Facial plastic surgery or Botox injections have been a longstanding option for the fountain of youth look that Ponce de Leon traveled the globe in search of. I personally think a few facial wrinkles are both masculine and sexy.

Now, two new techniques are gaining in popularity for the not so fairer sex. MOOB surgery (male boob surgery) is on the rise and testicle tightening is gaining in popularity thanks to George Clooney’s testicle testimonials!

Great Britain‘s The Daily Mail reported the following on September 25th:      

Boom in MOOB surgery as men ask for ‘small, almond-like’ nipples like David Beckham 

By Fiona Macrae Science Correspondent

“It could be the ultimate in male vanity – men are paying thousands of pounds in search of the perfect nipple. Plastic surgeons are creating smaller, flatter nipples for male patients.

Some men have their nipples made smaller during surgery to tidy up loose skin left after extreme weight loss. Others are have it done while having their ‘moobs’, or male breasts, reduced.  But some are so worried about the state of their nipples that they go under the knife solely to have them altered.

The revelation comes from a surgeon who has researched the shape of the ideal male nipple. Jeyaram Srinivasan, of the Royal Preston Hospital, asked 62 volunteers to study topless photos of 100 men and say which had the most desirable nipples. Some of the models were ordinary males who worked in the hospital, others were body-conscious gym goers.

Both sexes plumped for symmetrical nipples that were small, flat and slightly darker than the surrounding skin. The ideal nipple is also round or almond-shaped, the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons annual conference heard. In case you are wondering, David Beckham, apparently, has perfect almond-shaped nipples.  Dr Srinivasan’s study also showed that women are more put off than men by nipples that protrude

Dr Srinivasan said: ‘For many years, cosmetic surgery was associated with women and men wouldn’t even talk about it. They thought it was too vain. ‘But now, men say: “If I can have something to make me look better and I can afford it, I will do it.”

clooney

Beauty regime: George Clooney has repeatedly joked that instead of his eyes, he gets the skin on his testicles ‘ironed’ out, but now it appears he’s inspired a new craze in Hollywood

Let’s move down south of the male body border to explore the topic of testicle tightening! George Clooney was one of the first pioneers to share his enthusiasm for this genital rejuvenation procedure nicknamed “Tighten the Tackle”.

In an interview with Italy’s Max magazine, the 52-year-old actor said: ‘I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles. It’s a new technique; many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ‘ball ironing.'”

He also touched on ‘ball ironing’ in a 2008 interview with Esquire. Surgeons say such intervention can boost a man’s self-confidence by tightening the skin and muscle around the testes. Cosmetic expert Nurse Jamie told MailOnline that she added ‘Tighten the Tackle’ to the list of services at her upscale Santa Monica spa, Beauty Park, and it has been a raving success. Delicately describing the $575 non-surgical treatment, the blonde beautician says it involves using lasers to remove hair, erase wrinkles and correct discoloration on the scrotum.

Like women, she explains her male clients are keen to ‘keep their garden kept’ and it’s purely for sexy aesthetic reasons. And so, perhaps it’s time to see how does your lover’s garden grow below and whether his nipples are as nice as yours!

I am sure George Clooney’s new bride is a very happy gardener!

The Most Overrated Praise of Women- Ever!

   Walt whitman woman waiting  

In my old poetry book which I periodically read, I came upon a Walt Whitman poem, A Woman Waits for Me, which was part of a collection of poems called Leaves of Grass and which I had never read. Many of you probably never heard of the guy, but he was wildly popular American poet who, in those very conservative days, dared to write about sex, particularly regarding women, and was even considered by some as a pornographer. He’s still widely read.

Frankly speaking, the guy rates women on the level of Greek and Roman goddesses- even higher- which makes me wonder why. Women are perfect and a man must look forward to them- and not vice versa- to come to the perfect life. And having great sex was key to arrive at that state of perfection.

I called G, and he was well aware of the poem and of Whitman’s sex life. He said that the facts about his sex life are not clear except for one; he certainly was not a man whore or a ladies man, not even close. Some historians believe he was both homosexual and bisexual. Oscar Wilde, the famous British literary figure and controversial homosexual- he was imprisoned for being one- mentioned that he still could feel the lips of Whitman’s kiss after he returned to his country.

Anyway, what drove the man to rate women with Nirvana remains a mystery.

                                  

                                 A Woman Waits for Me 


WOMAN waits for me—she contains all, nothing is lacking,  
Yet all were lacking, if sex were lacking, or if the moisture of the right man were lacking.  
  
Sex contains all,  
Bodies, Souls, meanings, proofs, purities, delicacies, results, promulgations,  
Songs, commands, health, pride, the maternal mystery, the seminal milk;          5
All hopes, benefactions, bestowals,  
All the passions, loves, beauties, delights of the earth,  
All the governments, judges, gods, follow’d persons of the earth,  
These are contain’d in sex, as parts of itself, and justifications of itself.  
  
Without shame the man I like knows and avows the deliciousness of his sex,   10
Without shame the woman I like knows and avows hers.  
  
Now I will dismiss myself from impassive women,  
I will go stay with her who waits for me, and with those women that are warm-blooded and sufficient for me;  
I see that they understand me, and do not deny me;  
I see that they are worthy of me—I will be the robust husband of those women.   15
  
They are not one jot less than I am,  
They are tann’d in the face by shining suns and blowing winds,  
Their flesh has the old divine suppleness and strength,  
They know how to swim, row, ride, wrestle, shoot, run, strike, retreat, advance, resist, defend themselves,  
They are ultimate in their own right—they are calm, clear, well-possess’d of themselves.   20

 

A Warning to Young Men and Their Expensive Dinner Dates – “If You Ain’t Got Fifty Cents!”

fifty cents tip shotfifty cents sly stone

Recently, I had a wonderful lunch in Manhattan with an attractive, wealthy middle age woman of class. Though the “class” word is fast disappearing from our daily vocabulary, let me tell you guys you’ll be a very lucky man if you ever meet a classy woman. They are becoming a scarce commodity. They are treasures to be with and, believe it or not, sex does not play a significant, if any, role in the “class” experience moment.

We were reminiscing about a guy we both knew who crossed the forbidden Rubicon River falling helplessly in love with a woman who spent him into bankruptcy and then left him. He became profoundly depressed and, thanks to his old girlfriend, he managed to pull out of his doldrums, but he’s still broke. Luckily, his girlfriend has a job and is supporting him. We both wondered about the depth of a woman’s love.

This story brought to mind a philosophic conversation about women and money that my lady of class had with her son who is in his early twenties with hormones thriving. He lives in Manhattan and his mother, though well off, demands that he earn his living on his own though she wisely helps him when needed. One night, after they had finished dinner, the son described to his mother the dating scene with young men and women on a dinner date. He mentioned that working women were making good money, many more than men, and some of his friends were happy troupers when women offer to pay or split the bill thankfully accepting it. (Before I go on with the story, though I have no data, I doubt- no, I’m sure- lots of women are not anxious to pay the tab despite their income).

The son and only a couple of his friends much prefer to pay the dinner bill even with a rich woman. They are criticized by their friends and even some women for being romantic dinosaurs and not in tune with how women have changed. Despite the dinosaur criticisms, the son told his mother he still will not permit a lady to pay the bill and asked her whether there’s something wrong with his mindset.

I was impressed by the wisdom of her response and guidance. She said there are umpteen pundits, therapists and whoever out there who will interpret this act in many ways including it as a way to control the situation and not as an act of respect to the woman. She mentioned how his deceased father would open the door car for her and pull the chair out from under the dinner table before she sat as a symbol of respect. These little acts played a role in her falling in love with the man.

I then burst out into laughter, and she looked hurt as if I insulted her for those remarks. Sensing this, I gently held her warm hand and said, “Patrizia, you reminded me of a delightful old poem, author unknown, about a guy, with only fifty cents in his pocket, took a gal out to dinner where she drank and ate more than he could afford. Your son should read it- and smile. That’s what made me laugh.”

The poem goes as follows:

                                      I Had But Fifty Cents

I took my gal to a fancy ball;

It was a social hop;

We waited until the folks got out,

And the music it did stop.

Then to a restaurant we went,

The best one on the street;

She said she wasn’t hungry,

But this is what she eat:

A dozen raw, a plate of slaw,

A chicken and a roast,

Some applesass, and sparagrass,

And soft-shell crabs on toast.

A big box stew, and crackers too;

Her appetite was immense!

When she called for pie,

I’d thought I’d die,

For I had but fifty cents.

 

She said she wasn’t hungry

And didn’t care to eat,

But I got money in my clothes

To bet she can’t be beat;

She took it in so cozy,

She had an awful tank;

She said she wasn’t thirsty,

But this is what she drank;

A whiskey skin, a glass of gin,

Which made me shake with fear,

A ginger pop, with rum on top,

A schooner then of beer,

A glass of ale, a gin cocktail;

She should have had more sense;

When she called for more,

I fell on the floor,

For I had but fifty cents.

 

Of course I wasn’t hungry,

And I didn’t care to eat,

Expecting every moment

To be kicked into the street;

She said she’d fetch her family round,

And some night we’d have some fun;

When I gave the man the fifty cents,

This is what he done:

He tore my clothes,

He smashed my nose,

He hit me on the jaw,

He gave me a prize

Of a pair of black eyes and with me swept the floor.

He took me where my pants hung loose,

And threw me over the fence;

Take my advice, don’t try it twice

If you got but fifty cents.

fifty cents crutches shot

 

 

 

 

How Benjamin Franklin’s Sex Life Saved the American Revolution- and His Letter to a Very Horny Friend

Franklin and les belles mademoiselles at the French Court

Franklin and les belles mademoiselles at the French Court

 

Historians almost invariably miss little or not highly visible events that have huge historic impacts. Surely, Julius Caesar’s big, long term amorous and dramatic political relationship with Cleopatra changed history but so did Benjamin Franklin’s sex life. He was probably the horniest major political figure in American history. Thomas Jefferson noted that when in a room with lots of ladies, it took all of Franklin’s will power to control himself. He was undoubtedly a ladies’ man. He adored women, and they adored him.

Because of his impressive intellectual and practical achievements, he was a very popular and highly respected man, particularly in Europe. He went to Great Britain trying unsuccessfully over a number of years to convince King George III that his policies in the American colonies were oppressive, and the Americans wouldn’t stand for it. But one other possible reason he stayed so long was because the women of the King’s Court, as well as others, were nuts about the guy and, let’s say, very available. Having failed to convince the king, he then went to France for a number of years, in part, because he found the women extremely attractive- more so than in Britain, and, once more, available, but more deliciously so. In addition to his arguments to King Louis XVI, he persuaded a number of the ladies in high positions to convince their men to convince the king to send troops to help Washington during the American Revolution to help fight against the Brits. And so he did. Without the help of the French troops Washington may have failed, and America would never have come to be- and neither all of you reading this post!

The following letter was written by him to another very horny friend who didn’t want to get married to relieve his horniness but Franklin urged him to do so, but with an older woman. Some of you ladies may find it offensive but remember it was written with tongue in cheek. On the other hand, remember that without this man you would never have been born in a free country to have the privilege of criticizing him.

Ben Franklin’s Advice Concerning His Friend’s Sexual Affairs

Franklin had a friend who did not want to get married, but was battling with urges and lustful inclinations for the opposite sex. In the letter which follows, Franklin first advises the friend that the best solution for his urges is marriage. However, since he knows the friend will not take that advice, Franklin goes on to suggest that his friend have sexual affairs with old women. We know from the context that he is suggesting women over 45 years of age (see #3). His words about putting a basket over her head or turning out the light (see #5) illustrate an aspect of Franklin’s character which is seldom exposed.

June 25, 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. You Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, by they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Oeconomy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, the study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Dimunition of Beauty by the Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting and Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: the Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an Old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8. They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend,

Benjamin Franklin.

Vive la France! Franklin charming the French.

Vive la France! Franklin charming the French.

The White Women Sex Squealers – On Men – Could It Be True?

White Women Squealers - Tiger

We have entered the age of squealers and/or whistleblowers, a more modern term. The difference between the two is sometimes difficult to define. Before I go on, I must tell you about my cultural mindset. Years ago, in my old Italian neighborhood, a squealer was the lowest form of human life and, for this reason, this “act of betrayal” was a rarity for fear of substantial retribution. Do you remember what Tony Soprano did to Pussy who was squealing to the Feds?

In the late 90’s the white woman airline attendant, Suzen Johnson, lured the famous football star, Frank Gifford, to a hotel room in Manhattan and secretly videotaped their sexual encounter. She then went public with it, and it received enormous media coverage. It’s said she was paid lots of dough not only for the video but for going public as a squealer.

I was fully expecting that much of the outrage would justifiably be directed toward that “traitor” woman. Not so! The betrayed man bore the entire brunt of the cultural beating while she enjoyed her fame and new found riches. G and I were dumbfounded that there was virtually no male, let alone female, support for Gifford.

Let’s jump to President Clinton and the Monica Lewinsky episode. After it became a hot national issue, several of his past white honeybuns came forth with stories of their sexual relationships. And hardly a critical finger was directed at these white lady squealers while our President took a beating. Media and other males deserted the poor guy. G and I were truly stupefied by the absence of male- white or black- let alone female- criticism of these ladies.

(The recent emergence of Lewinsky and the dynamics of the attack on her by women have nothing to do with the sexual event).

Jumping ahead in time, we come to the Tiger Woods scandal. This man, one of the greatest golfers of all time, shares a joint Asian –Black heritage. And he, like the great Frank Sinatra and members of his Rat Pack, is a horny guy and the types who are also understandably besieged by bedroom-promising women seeking experiences beyond the normal routine.

(Many famous men from Hollywood to the sports world, like Tiger Woods, prefer hookers for sexual relief therapy because of the lack of a risk of personal attachment which women of all types often seek with the rich and famous).

Well, from out of the “woodworks” squealing hooker women went public describing in detail Tiger’s sexual propensities which lead to a nasty divorce. They were all white ladies. G and I were hoping that, unlike the timid white media and politician males, the black and hopefully the Asian guys would come to his defense. But they, like the timid white guys, all puzzlingly remained silent not daring to criticize these squealing ladies. White women, however, launched vicious attacks on the man while Asian and black women remained silent.

Then came Elliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner, both politicians, where the women unabashedly went public with details of the sexual encounters, both real and imaginary, and these guys took humongous personal hits. And, yes, you guessed it; the ladies were all white, and all knew that they would escape the criticism of being judged as lowly squealers. They, instead, wreaked economic benefits from their betrayal as well as recognition which is a normal human drive.

G mentioned that the squealing white women phenomenon may not be the rule because of the Mike Tyson case involving a black woman. He was a great fighter who worked his way up from poverty to the heavyweight world championship. But this affair was different than the others because, after agreeing to go to his bedroom, the black woman accused him of rape and not of having past sexual encounters as with the aforementioned men. Anyway, the guy was convicted and went to jail. G and I, based on past history, were sure that the timid white guys would not come to his defense. But we were surely expecting that the male black leaders would come to his defense based on what a group of old neighborhood ladies expressed to G and me one night over dinner. “Why the hell did she go to his room; for tea and biscuits? She was asking for trouble. She’s to blame.” Right or wrong is not the issue here. Black men, a few of whom I personally know, though they agreed with these ladies, unanimously remained silent.

Here’s a recent case of a non-white woman squealing on an old white male. The young, attractive Black- Mexican, V. Stiviano, secretly taped a conversation with her 81 year old sugar daddy, Donald Sterling. While ostensibly having sex he made some racist remarks which she made publically available. It’s important to note that, as with the Tyson case, this did not involve the exposé of the sex life of a male but for other reasons. And, as also with Tyson, the squealer lady escaped entirely unscathed with one outstanding exception: the dynamic 86 year old baseball legend, Tommy Lasorda, who went to bat for his old friend. Regarding Stiviano’s act of betrayal, he remarked, “”And I don’t wish that girl any bad luck, but I hope she gets hit with a car.” This statement was virtually completely ignored by the media.

Here’s another point that remains in the shadows of human behavior which G and I believe must be increasingly common: it’s blackmail! We had a very close late friend who was a solid family man. He was introduced to an extremely seductive white woman who was paid by a male competitor seeking to lure him to her bedroom where the sexual encounter was videotaped. He succumbed and underwent nightmarish psychological blackmail torture.

Preliminary conclusion: Asian, Black and Hispanic women are not nearly as inclined as White women to squeal on their sexual relationships with men. Asian, Black, Hispanic and White males do not squeal on their sexual relationships with women. To date, this appears to be true with polyamorous and homosexual parties. It’s primarily the White woman sex squealer who should raise concern to all men.
It must be clearly stated that this only the opinion of G and me, and there is no solid medical-scientific evidence to support this conclusion about white women. But we believe there is enough evidence to send a sign of caution. Our culture is definitely supporting such women encouraging all women to betray men- and it will spread to other sexual territories. Though romantically tough to do, some have recommended that, particularly with repeated or long-term sexual relationships, a contract should be signed between the parties including polyamorous ones regardless of cultural backgrounds. An example of such a contract can be found on The Decrapitation Society website. http://thedecrapitationsociety.com/2012/03/29/the-power-of-the-mens-quest-for-orgasms-manizers-and-the-need-for-a-protective-sexual-disclaimer-contract-for-them/

The Critical Importance of Men and Women Faking Orgasms

fake-orgasms

G and I recently read an article about the classic, unforgettable faking-orgasm, dinner scene in the movie, When Harry Met Sally (1989), starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal. He thinks he’s a great lover but Ryan reminds him that women are expert at faking orgasms, and many could have faked them in order to please him which, of course, he stubbornly refuses to believe. To prove her point, she puts on a legendary convincing faking -orgasm performance which, between you and me, was so good that I thought she was enjoying herself so much that it was the real thing! But that’s another story.

The talented director, Rob Reiner, in an attempt to coach Ryan on how to portray the scene, acted out a faking –orgasm moment and, according to Ryan, he worked up a mighty sweat doing it. Maybe he, like Ryan, may have enjoyed it, if you know what I mean. But that’s also another story!

But here’s a delightful, impromptu event. Reiner’s mother, Estelle, was in the movie playing the role of a diner sitting at the next table. After Ryan performed her orgasm scene, she suggested to her son that she should say, “I’ll have what she’s having.” And her son agreed after which it went viral even to this day it is talked about among those older than our Millennials.

Reiner, with his innate sense of humor remarked, “How sick is this? I’m doing this in front of my mother.”

Anyway, this article got G and me talking about our thoughts on both sexes faking orgasms. Most of what is written and discussed deals with women doing it. We concluded that it’s probably due to the fact, for whatever reasons, it is more common with women because women have more reasons for faking it. Also, it’s easier for them to do because they don’t ejaculate like men. For sure, the wearing of a condom makes it easier for men but many don’t wear them, particularly since many women are on oral contraceptives. Also, most men don’t use them with women past the child-bearing age. Surveys report that condom- less men also fake orgasms and supposedly get away with it. It’s puzzling how. Here’s another fact that’s puzzling. It’s the erection. In many men who lose interest, it disappears! So how can they fake it?

G and I both strongly believe that the art of faking orgasms lightens the burden of life, particularly for women. This point has unforgivingly been absent from the professional and lay media. Our lives are being effectively inundated with way overrated messages about the wonders of sex. It’s as if your phantasies should be fulfilled every time you copulate. It just ain’t so. Not even close. Many times one partner, either the man or the woman, have no interest in copulating or indulging in other types of sexual acts. Even if they do, they quickly get it over with after their happy moment searching for immediate peace and quiet.

The reasons behind faking orgasms are multiple most boiling down to “just not being in the mood” but oftentimes just wanting to please the partner. Commonly, particularly in married and working women, they’re just plain tired or under stress worrying about problems regarding their kids at school or financial obligations or the pain- in- the- ass boss at work. Also, many are not turned on by their partners at that or any moment or, as I mentioned before, not that interested in sex in general, an underappreciated but common feeling. There are, of course, other reasons that you ladies and gentlemen are well aware of and need no explanation from G and me!

Now to faking it, and why, in many cases, it’s essential: We are assuming that, except for the powerfully hormone driven young, most men and women would like to please their lovers. Driven by our sexual revolution, American young males remind us of the American bison commonly incorrectly called a buffalo. A couple of months before mating, the bison has a huge sexual surge in his testosterone and urge to copulate but the females in the herd are not yet ready to accept penile insertion. He, out there in the plains, wants to eliminate competition so he fights other male bisons, sometimes even to the death and loses much of his body weight in doing so. Then, when he senses that the lady bison is in heat, he somehow locates her in the herd, mounts her and strokes away for only 15 seconds to have his happy moment after which he walks away forever! Such is the immense power of the young male sex drive.

So what’s our point? Unless one is a bison there is a lot of psychology in having an orgasm. Though there are little good clinical data on this subject, common sense and experience tells us that most men and women, in addition to their personal pleasure and deep down feelings, want to share sexual intercourse with their mates. And many times the best way to accomplish this altruistic goal is by faking orgasms! It’s nothing more than a “white lie” which oftentimes makes life easier.

As I was about to post this piece, I thought whether G had experiences with women faking orgasms. I also thought that he, with his track record of pleasing about 300 women, would be, like Billy Crystal, and deny that it could possibly happen to a man who made love to more women than Casanova.

The first response I elicited from him after asking the question was a hearty burst of laughter. “Sure it happened. I may be good but I ain’t that good.” He wholeheartedly agrees that the white-lie art of faking orgasms, in many cases, can make for a more harmonious sex life.

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