About a week after we talked about G’s six seductive words which he considers the most mind- expanding of all his love-making experiences, we had dinner with the widow and her widowed girlfriend who had lost three husbands to disease and wasn’t interested in losing the fourth. She went to the finest schools and has a quick mind.
I think I mentioned this in a previous post, but a woman once told me about the three phases of recognition of a beautiful woman. Up until she reaches middle –age, she’s called “beautiful”. During and a little after middle age she is referred to as, “You’re still beautiful”. After that, when she’s into old-age she’s referred to as, “You must have been a beautiful woman”. The widow’s friend, like the widow, falls into the last category. G believes that the loss of a woman’s beauty is proof of the existence of the Devil. Let me qualify that statement before we move on; his definition of a beautiful woman also encompasses, as he says, “her totality”.
It so happens that after the last post I received a couple of calls from our male friends regarding why G used the exact words, “I’d like to explore your mind,” instead of others. And, surprisingly, the widow’s friend asked the same question during martini time. For some reason, I thought G would not appreciate dealing with this issue for I knew it was intellectually a difficult one to answer, and who wants this scenario when dining with two delightful and wise women who must have been beautiful. But he surprised me for he accepted the challenge, but not as in a debate but out of his own curiosity.
The widow’s friend asked why not say, “I want to explore your mind” or “I’m going to explore your mind”? Then the widow asked, “How about, ’I’m interested in learning about your fantasies but stop me if you don’t want to take this adventure’ or ‘Open up your mind and let me enter’?
G smiled broadly and affectionately looked at both of the ladies and said, “Let’s have a toast.” After the toast he added, “You ladies surprised me. You must have discussed this before tonight.”
The ladies exchanged glances sending silent messages whose content I would have loved to have known.
G then began: “This may surprise you but I never planned how or what I would do or say to a woman in, now don’t forget this, our usual only one night encounters. It just came naturally, and what I did developed over time as I experienced more time with women. But there is a commonality in the mind of women, so it didn’t take me long to discover what that is. My god, what a privilege it is to have experienced it in my lifetime.”
The widow’s friend interrupted and asked, “It must be the same with men. That is, a woman in your role can read the commonality in men’s minds.”
“Of course, I did discuss this with some of my open ladies when we were relaxed and open, but let’s talk about it at another time.”
But the widow’s friend was persistent and insisted, “G, give us at least a hint?”
“Yes. It’s seduction, and I’ve discussed that before.
“That’s all I’ll say about that. Now getting back to why the six words, give me a moment to cogitate on it.”
We then began to dig into what G had prepared for dinner: boiled chicken, celery root and a very small pasta noodle with a creamy sauce lightly sprinkled with thinly sliced scallions and a touch of some type of sharp cheese. And, as usual, it was a knock-out gustatory dinner. With it, he served a zinfandel red wine which oenophiles generally look down upon, but it went just right with the food. The guy really knows about pleasure be it in the bedroom or around the dinner table.
He, out of the blue, asked, “Ladies, let me ask you whether you have any ideas why these words may have been more effective than others?”
The widow, while looking at her friend for approval, softly answered, “G, frankly speaking, we are not experts in this world of yours and want to hear what you have to say before we comment. And we will definitely give you our opinions.”
G smiled a smile of understanding, gulped the zinfandel, gazed at the kitchen ceiling and began. “You know, it’s interesting to think about something that you’ve done with so many women but never realized that you never analyzed why you did it or, in this specific case, used certain words to open a woman’s mind, instead of other words.
“But, as I’m thinking, let me start at the endpoint or the woman’s experience, of why I settled on these words. Now in the beginning of my wonderful adventures with women, I honestly don’t remember what kinds of different words or phrases that I used at that critical point in orgasm time. The endpoint of choosing the right ones was how the women responded and gave me the ‘okay’ to delve more deeply into her mind to achieve what they’ve probably never experienced before and probably never again unless, of course, in their fantasies. Who the hell knows?
“Now, like Lorenzo, I’m getting somewhat clinical and making a diagnosis, but there are two types of responses, and both are always silent. The first, which is the one that fascinates me the most, is when there is total silence – I mean total – without any detectable body movement. Zero! Her silence is, in a real sense, not at all silent but it, somehow and someway, sends me a powerful message that’s she’s ready for me to get to know her more intimately and many voluntarily told me it was a first time experience. Don’t let anyone tell you that silence doesn’t speak for it’s oftentimes more truthful than words! The second is when the woman also remains silent, but makes a very subtle or not so subtle body movement such as slight body stiffening to firmly grasping my forearm. But, in both cases, you must be patient and make sure you receive her go ahead. Now listen to this and how complicated and, yes, mysterious, a woman’s mind is: I don’t recall any woman ever giving me either a verbal okay or a verbal not- to- proceed request. It’s something that always puzzled the shit out of me. But, let me be very clear; the entire process is an art that a man has or doesn’t have. It’s like a seductive woman. She either has it or she doesn’t. Can a man or woman learn this art? In my experience after advising men, a small percentage can. But there’s no doubt in my mind that sex videos and other media sex avenues do the opposite regarding ways to achieve the highest level of fantasy sex. Before I forget, fantasy sex is not, as most believe, simply a momentary unreal event. If done right, it’s long-lived and remains in the mind until father time says it’s time to give it up.”
G then paused, and we all returned to forking our dinner making other sex conversation such as what’s happening on college campuses where hormones are flowing and no one knows what to do about it. There has been some talk about male chemical castration but not a word about female chastity belts.
We all agreed that the celery root was really tasty and the widows asked G for his recipe. He refused to surrender it, which disappointed the ladies who love to cook but lost their interest after the death of their husbands whom they loved very much. But now and then they return to the kitchen to cook new things for friends and family.
G then continued: “Look, I don’t have the answer, but let me tell you what I’ve been thinking about since you brought the subject up. When I say, ‘I’d like to,’ this makes a woman comfortable with me for it’s an option for her to accept or refuse. It’s her decision, not mine. You must remember I’ve spent time with her before these words so she has already made a judgment about me before we got to that point. Also, ladies you must give me some credit. I would not speak these words unless I decided the woman wants to go forward but needs an additional fantasy push.”
Then G does what he typically sometimes does to emphasize a point. He stood up between the ladies and looked down upon them from a controlling, authoritative vantage point. “I would not use, ‘I want to explore,’ because the woman would interpret that as that’s what I want to do to please me instead of me pleasing her which robs her of her options. It would put her on her guard and significantly turn- down or even turn-off her fantasy level, and what a tragedy that would be! If I say, ‘I’m going to,’ it sends the same message and reaction. Now nothing is a hundred per cent and some women, probably those into physical punishment more than usual, would probably respond to the previous two requests, but I have no idea if and how many would. Regarding the other language that you ladies proposed, all that I have to say is that my instincts tell me it won’t work.
“Ladies, that’s all I have to say.”
After dinner, we all had an expresso and then sipped on grappa. There was another pause in the conversation that often occurs when a group is wondering about elusive subject matter. The widow then turned to her friend and remarked, “I don’t know about you, but I like options. How about you?”
Her answer? “What the hell do you think?”