It always fascinated me how many separate, different things somehow connect in life. G was at an all-male get together when one of the men approached him, patted him on the back and said, “You son of a gun. Wait until you hear what you’ve done.”
Now the story comes from a second- hand source and it may be all baloney but, even if so, the message makes a hell-of-a lot of business sense. The guy told G that he had a friend who periodically visited a Korean masseuse of average talent but she was good enough to fulfill his needs. She worked for a type of massage parlor where the ladies, in order to avoid being charged with prostitution, automatically and without asking for money in order to avoid being jailed for prostitution, masturbated the men at the end of the massage and expected a higher tip than those parlors which didn’t offer masturbation or performed the act confidentially. If a masseuse asks a man if he wants a hand-job and tells the man it includes a fee, then it falls under the legal definition of a prostitute and she would be charged for that. Now here’s something I really think stinks to high heaven which undercover policemen sometimes do. It’s a classic sting which G and I and all of our male friends couldn’t do to a lady. They ask the masseuse for a hand-job and how much it would cost. If the masseuse goes along with it and quotes the price, then that’s prostitution, and she ends up in the slammer.
Anyway, in the past G’s friend and the guy had a discussion about how disappointing masseuses in general were so the friend suggested that he read our post on the male frenulum and Vaseline– and so he did. He became very excited and took the post to her. But as with most Asiatic masseuses, her English was very limited and she couldn’t understand it. After he gave her only two lessons and much to his delight she caught on and became superb at it. Though he was a happy trooper, he soon regretted it. She, being the clever type, used it on all her customers. As a result her reputation spread like wildfire, and her tips dramatically increased so much so that she decided to leave and start her own business in a location too inconvenient for his friend to travel to.
He heard her business is booming. She hired four gals, two Caucasians and two Koreans and trained them according to G’s formula. One big reason he hired the Caucasian ladies is that few Koreans ones, for puzzling reasons, cannot even understand basic English so the guys are frustrated in that they can’t tell them what they like. It’s a real downer. It now takes weeks for a new customer to get an appointment, and she’s now driving a Mercedes. The guy heard that she’s taking G’s advice and starting a chain of parlors, but that’s not definite.
What is sad is that his friend found a new Korean masseuse and tried to teach her the frenulum-Vaseline technique. He’s frustrated as hell because she just can’t get it quite right!
But here’s G’s point: There’s a huge market out there for this type of masseuse parlor with the ladies who are masters at hand-jobs. Though I don’t know the legal ramifications, it seems to me that if other sexual services are also offered the way hand-jobs are, the financial sky is the limit for a chain of parlors. As in biotechnology, there has to be a first company to take the chance and lead the way. And what makes this type of venture really attractive is that the financial risk is very low.
Are there any entrepreneurs out there to be the first?
DILDOS, VIBRATORS AND A HUGE MARKET OPPORTUNITY FOR ARTIFICIAL VAGINAS BY A CREATIVE TECHNOLOGY ENTREPRENEUR
In order to stay in touch with our fast moving modern world, one thing that I do is to periodically scan multiple television channels concentrating, though not entirely, on the news including conservative and liberal opinion ones. I’m not sure how many channels I have, but they are in the multiple hundreds. Don’t ask me why but last night, for the first time, I scanned the upper channel range and discovered they all deal with old movies. I was about to turn the TV off but decided to click to one more channel and was I surprised! It was a video on the famous Cathouse, a legal house of prostitution in Nevada. One scene was a revelation to me and piqued my curiosity.
One of the ladies said that she and her lady colleagues had to stay sexually stimulated in order to be motivated to service the men. This was news to me. I do have some doubts whether this true in most houses of prostitution, but who knows. Anyway, in order to keep their passions on fire, they heavily depend on dildos and vibrators. Her collection of what seemed like a dozen such erotic devices was displayed. It comprised mostly artificial penises and some vibrators. In addition, she and her colleagues have belts connected to an artificial penis or dildo which they use to copulate with the other ladies of the night and, I would guess, to sodomize them and their men clients. Some men and women enjoy performing oral sex on these dildos. I understand that some preferred the flavored type.
For whatever reason, I became curious about artificial vaginas. I was too curious to watch the finale of the show and went directly to my computer and searched for “artificial vaginas”- and there they were. But I was truly surprised for they were only on a relatively few websites. I thought there would be many more, including life-size lady mannequins.
Speaking of mannequins, here’s an interesting fact: During World War II, Hitler decided to send soft, inflatable female mannequins with vaginas to his troops on the front battlefield lines in order to give them the comfort of a woman’s company and, of course, to enjoy their orgasms. Much to the credit of the German soldiers, they were embarrassed and refused the offer. Also, “Facing the enemy, they would want to fight rather than fuck.”
I called G, and he professed ignorance of the details of the artificial vagina scene. We blamed ourselves for being out of touch with the modern world of sex. So, for educational purposes, we decided to call our male friends and other male contacts and ask them what they knew about artificial vaginas. We spoke to about 20 of them of ages ranging from about 25 to 75. All vaguely knew about their existence, but they not only never used one, but knew of no one who had.
G and I wondered why this humongous potential market had not arrived. Then it suddenly dawned on us. It’s technology. The artificial vaginas, unlike dildos and vibrators, are not functional or consumer friendly enough to make for easy use. Dildos are flexible, very easy to use and do a number of things. They can wiggle like a snake and, at the same time, vibrate both on the clitoris and in the vagina. And, as long as the battery is charged or the wire plugged in, they can perform forever which, according to G, some women love. But G said that there are women who aren’t turned on by vibration dildos. Also, they are also very easy to clean which may be a big problem with an artificial vagina. But, in my opinion, one major advantage is that they are portable! You can put and hide them in a woman’s pocketbook- FYI, men don’t carry pocketbooks- which she can use whenever the occasion calls for it even in a restaurant’s ladies room. G and I have noticed that, unlike men, women are notoriously not comfortable sitting on a public toilet seat and only do number 1 by squatting above it. Doing number 2 is unthinkable because one must be seated to do so or cause a mess. But, if she’s turned- on by her date, she does have the option to be seated and turn on the battery. (By the way, G and I also have noticed that women don’t drink much, if any, water during dinner).
I did a dildo-vibrator search on the Internet and, unlike the handful of artificial vagina websites, the dildo ones seemed infinite! This clearly tells us that the female products are much, much more consumer friendly than artificial vaginas.
Conclusion: Since there is an overwhelming, bullish male orgasm- seeking market, it makes compelling sense that the virtual absence of the artificial vagina market is primarily due to the failure of technology to produce a consumer or male friendly device from portable pocket pussies to big or small breasted but always with tight vaginas, voluptuous, inflatable mannequins.
But my mindset as a physician-scientist makes me wonder if there are also other reasons why men may not be as enthusiastic about making love to an artificial vagina as one would expect. Even assuming that the vagina products are inferior, we all know that males are a horny bunch and would at least purchase substantially more devices than they do, friendly or not. Perhaps it’s in the male psychology that turns them off. I don’t know and both G and I don’t think so, but it’s a point to consider.
There is, however, one fact that’s not debatable which makes the design of an artificial vagina much more complicated than female toys. It involves two steps. First, unlike females, it’s getting a hard-on or, to our international friends, an erection, which is necessary to insert into a vagina- artificial or not! Perhaps the seductive voice of a woman should be part of the device containing a selection of themes for his choosing from teasing to domination or whatever turns on his BGL or Brain Genital Law. Or it can be programmed in his cellphone. Sure, there’s Viagra, but it’s not nearly as stimulating as a woman’s voice and the combination of the two. Second, the vagina then must do its thing such as fit comfortably, be at the right temperature, produce smooth, and rhythmic contractions at different speeds, among others in order to bring the male to climax. It can be portable or large and non-portable. A flexible product line is necessary to meet the demand.
Let me deviate for a moment and explain to you why a properly designed device would be a wonderful gift to my old and dear friend, G. I told this story before but am not sure whether in a previous post or in the book. Over dinner one night I told him of my penis experience as a young doctor. A man came into the emergency room in excruciating pain of his penis. He had a fractured penis of which the most common cause is when a woman sits on the top of a stiff erection and vigorously pumping away which is what happened to him. His urethra was broken and the poor guy couldn’t pee. The only cure for this condition is to ram a catheter into the penis and create a new urethra, an extremely painful experience that any man would not welcome. G had many encounters with women on the top, but after I told him the fractured penis story he was always fearful of the possibility of experiencing the same thing and could never relax and enjoy it. Now with a properly designed artificial vagina he could lie, without fear, on his back, without exerting himself and let himself go!
Getting back to faux vaginas: A friend told me that in Japan there’s an impressive market for “male masturbators.” He says they prefer not to use the term artificial vagina. Evidently, using one of these devices, a man won the world prize by masturbating for almost 10 hours without cardiac resuscitation!
Shakespeare wrote, “What’s in a name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” So also with a male masturbator: It’s an outright artificial vagina.
During my career I’ve witnessed many new markets blossom into huge money makers. The artificial vagina market is such a potential market. Enrico Fermi, the brilliant Italian physicist and father of the atomic bomb, once asked a question about the existence of extraterrestrial life what is now called the Fermi Paradox. If there are billions of planets in the Universe for billions of years many of which have life forms, he asked, “ If so, where are they?”
I ask, “Regarding the artificial vagina entrepreneurs for Lorenzo Baccalà’s Three P’s Paradox: The Portable Pocket Pussy: Where are they?”
Over the years I’ve met and counseled dozens of high school students many of whom are now making more money than I! A couple of days ago I met two of my male and a female “alumni” who are now seniors at three highly regarded universities. For some reason, our conversation turned to the subject of hookingup. It was a learning experience for me, indeed, including the enrichment of my English vocabulary. For example, I now know the meanings of “Friends with benefits” and “Fucking buddies.” The guys had such friends and buddies but the lady did not. I had no reason to doubt their honesty. Bottom line and ostensibly so, hookingup means having sex and orgasms without any other ties, emotional or otherwise. It is becoming increasingly prevalent on university campuses.
Piqued by another “innovative “category of our sexual liberation movement, I decided to do some heavy hookingup homework. Though it is a recent phenomenon, I was surprised to discover that there are some credible surveys (many on sex are not nearly so) characterizing what’s going on. One finding which got me thinking is that this type of sex is trending to oral and anal sex rather than vaginal penetration. Frankly speaking, I’m stumped and would welcome any credible thoughts on the dynamics of this pattern.
I just read a well written review article, In Hookups, Inequality Still Reigns, in, would you believe, the Science Section of the New York Times authored by Natalie Kitroeff. It’s about orgasms! She begins by quoting the frustrations of a young lady who bemoaned the fact that her male “fucking buddy” falls asleep after ejaculation before paying attention to her orgasmic needs. It surprised me that she was surprised. After all, this is what lots of men do.
Ms. Kitroeff, reports on two surveys. The first, led by Justin R. Garcia at Indiana University and researchers at Binghamton University, was conducted on 600 college students. They reported that women were twice as much likely to reach orgasm from vaginal or oral intercourse during serious male- female relationships than in hookup ones.
In the second survey of 24,000 students, it was reported that, during their last hookup, men have twice as many orgasms than women. In contrast, the ladies had far more orgasms in a committed relationship than a hookingup one. This survey lends support to the above mentioned study that the hooked-up clitoris is no match to the hooked-up penis when it comes to orgasms.
I believe that I can safely assume that the vast majority of oldtimer, pre-sexual liberation men and women would not be surprised at the conclusions of these surveys. It is what the wise Catholic theologian, Thomas Aquinas, termed as a “self-evident truth.” But, however, I did momentarily wonder that maybe times had changed. With our rapidly embracing of socially acceptable liberating sex values coupled with modern technology that increasingly allows for safe sex , women might have indeed changed and become more men-like regarding the biologic quest for orgasms.
In two previous posts, I concluded that – now listen to this!- women are different than men when it comes to sex! This was impressively expressed by Robyn, the simpatica waitress at my local Italian restaurant, when she, regarding the differences in volume sex between the sexes, exclaimed, “It’s women. It’s expectations. Women have greater expectations!”. Women view it on a higher emotional level. Another survey reported that women who cheat on their husbands do so because they feel “more appreciated” with their lovers.
I’d like to make a personal observation with respect to marriage and other long-term relationships: Hookingup for both men and women is a training ground for divorce as well as the breakdown of non- marriage long term, man-women cohabitation. It becomes a kind of habit and makes it psychologically easier to cheat.
And cheating will, in a number of ways, lead to great, insupportable emotional stress for both men and women resulting into permanent separation in many. That’s a “self-evident truth.”
There’s so much written about men and sex that’s not reliable so I decided to go directly to the horse’s mouth and asked G about his advice to men, as I did in a previous post on advice to women on how to be a good lover. (Periodically, I remind readers that he’s the guy I interviewed in my book, The Man Who Made Love to More Women than Casanova).
His initial response? Bursting out in laughter, he said, “It’s an extremely complicated question because there are so many variables. What do we mean by a lover? For a night? An occasional rendezvous? A single versus married person? Tired working parents with children? What age groups? What degree of horniness? And so on and so forth. But, as I said in the women post, I’m interested in high level sex, and this is what I’ll talk about. There’s nothing like it! ”
Then he emphasized what we discussed in the book. He claims that, generally speaking, both men and women are not good lovers. I asked him, “I appreciate your credentials about women but what do you base your opinion on about men?”
“Good question. During my personal experiences with hundreds of women many of them told me about their sexual experiences with men, oftentimes in detail. Maybe it’s different today, but I don’t think so. Basic instincts don’t change.”
“So, G, you must think that it’s a genetic factor, and it’s hopeless.”
G paused, and I could hear him puffing on his pipe. “Look, Lorenzo, to repeat, my sexual encounters were on a very high level with fairly high, top- of- the- line ladies. It usually involved dinner, drinks and engaging in enjoyable and stimulating conversation before we entered my suite. I did not book rooms for suites are much more effective in making a woman relax. If you’re not at home with your wife, I would strongly recommend this. Don’t ask me why. As I also mentioned in the book, the more beautiful, intelligent and attractive a woman, the more effort was required to bring her to climax. This usually means more suggestive talk, wine and sometimes other light stimulants, if you know what I mean.”
G suddenly stopped and said, “I can go on and on but I guess you want some simple guidelines. Right?”
He puffed away again and then said, “I want to repeat that there are lots of ways to have satisfying sexcapades, but here are a few of my personal basic guidelines for a man if, of course, he wants to become a good lover. I’m not sure many want to be because it takes lots of effort which can sometimes boomerang where the woman becomes disinterested or, as we say in the vernacular, ‘turned off.’ Let’s not forget that, if you think about it, it’s much, much easier for a woman to turn on a man than vice versa and, therefore, requires greater skill. Also, I hate to keep repeating myself, but there are all kinds of exceptions
“Anyway, before whoopee time you’ve got to talk to the woman about herself. I cannot stress this enough for it’s the door opener. Let me tell you it can be a beautiful experience. I didn’t have to develop this habit because it comes naturally to me. If it doesn’t come natural to you, make a conscious effort to learn about and enjoy your woman. The first step is, for God’s sake, don’t talk about yourself too much. I hardly ever did because, frankly speaking, I find talking about myself rather boring. Be a sincere listener. Yes, I know that the ‘thing’ today is for men and women to talk about themselves and exchange experiences. Sure, it can be nice, but a talented male lover doesn’t do that. For the record, I’ll just add that there are exceptions to every rule- and I mean that.
“When whoopee time arrives, concentrate entirely on the woman until she comes to climax. Forget about yourself for the initial phase of good lovemaking to a woman should largely be a selfless act. I don’t give a shit what anyone says. What I read today coupled with my growing experience with modern women tells me that they are under a hell of a lot more stress than men.
“Before I forget, the belief that the perfect mating scene should be when both lovers have orgasms at the same time is a beautiful and romantic concept but only reserved for a few. To achieve this takes a hell of a lot of concentration which detracts from the pleasure of love-making. But to repeat, if it works, go for it.
“It’s critical to understand, at least in my experience and what my lady friends told me, that women’s post-orgasm energy levels are substantially different between the sexes. A man’s energy is usually spent, and he just wants to relax while a woman’s energy levels remain in almost full force. If a woman realizes that a man-made an obvious selfless effort to make her happy, particularly if it was successful, she’ll, because of her female natural instincts of giving, go out of her way to return the favor by being genuinely selfless trying to please the man. That’s the beautiful nature of women.
“Lorenzo, before I go on, let me dictate this poem to add to your post. It was written way back in Sumerian days, our earliest civilization, by the goddess, Inanna. It deals with her sensual sexual encounter with the shepherd, Dumuzi. To arouse the guy it’s written that, ‘When she leaned back against the apple tree, her vulva was wondrous to behold.’”
‘He shaped my loins with his fair hands,
The shepherd Dumuzi filled my lap with cream and milk,
He stroked my pubic hair,
He watered my womb.
He laid his hands on my vulva.
He caressed me on the bed.”
“Bridegroom, let me caress you,
My precious caress is more savory than honey,
Let us enjoy your godly beauty,
Lion, let me caress you,
My precious caress is more savory than honey.’
“This may be the earliest document which confirms my belief that a woman’s pleasure should be first and a man’s second!
“ Back to my advice: Always start out slowly- and I mean slowly- even if she’s in a hurry. Lorenzo, you’ll notice in my interviews I always emphasize that based on my experience it’s the best way to maximize the brief ecstatic, pleasures of orgasms. Most of my lady friends told me that men move too quickly in love-making. Plato called the erection phase a state of ‘Divine madness’ so I understand the hurry. But a man must discipline himself. I almost always kept my activity at a measured, slow pace until pre-climax time. Now here’s the greater challenge and more difficult: In my experience, fantasy talk is really the key factor which can change a routine orgasm into a humongous one. Sex begins and ends in the brain and not the genitals. Remember the BGL (LINK TO BGL SUMMARY)? But, as I said many times before, the problem is that very few men and women are good at fantasy talk. A not too complicated way to handle this is just to coax the woman, be it in a command or in an encouraging tone of voice, to imagine the fantasy that turns her on the most. In my experience their fantasies are frequently related to some form of domination or betrayal and other out- of -control events. You don’t have to wait until disrobing time to get a good hint. Many times I found out during relaxed, dinner time discussions. An example with a married woman would be her fantasizing about her being in the married couple’s bed alone with her husband’s best friend. An example with a single woman would be to ask her what woman she most sexually attracted to and would like to be with her alone or with her boyfriend. There are many other type fantasies, which, to repeat, you may discover during dinner or drinks. If you elicit favorable initial responses, keep probing with other questions. Of course, the woman may not respond at all, so just back off and play it by ear.
“But, as I said in my previous posts to potential women lovers, a man better be sincere about this or be a superb con artist for if a woman detects that-and they are superb at this and much better than men- you’re faking it, her hormone level will immediately- and I mean immediately-shut down, and the party is over for the night, no matter what a man does. Sure she might go on but will want to get out of the sack in a hurry by faking orgasms. A number of my lady friends told me that happened with them.”
“G, this may be an embarrassing question but did this ever happen to you?”
“You bet. It happened only once, and I’ll never forget it. I haven’t the slightest idea why it happened, but I blamed it on myself.”
“How did you know for sure that it happened?”
“Just take my word for it.
“That’s about it, Lorenzo.”
“One more question. How many times will it take a man to acquire these lover skills?”
G didn’t hesitate. “If his heart is in it, and if he has at least a modicum of the natural basic instincts and he works at it, and above all, enjoys the woman he’s with, I would say about three. The same holds true if he’s a superb con artist. But as with female con artists, it isn’t the same unless your objective is to please a woman for other reasons than sexual pleasure. And such reasons exist.”
“G, any final advice to men?”
“You bet! Now I want to re-emphasize I’m talking about high level sexual encounters. Most are not that way. My advice is the same for both men and women but usually at different times during the sex act. At the right time take Casanova’s advice.”
“And what’s that, G?”
“Be the flame and not the moth!”
In a recent post, I raised the possibility that the frenulum is the male G-spot. It’s located at the base of the penis where the back part of the glans or head meets the shaft. Then I remembered what G had to say about women when I interviewed him in the book, The Man Who Made Love to More Women than Casanova. G, who bedded with about 300 women, claims that there is no specific female G-spot. In the book, here’s what he had to say about it, the clitoris and the vagina:
“Regarding what stimulates the clitoris the most, I have no general formula for it can vary, even during the same sexual encounter.”
“Now let me state the obvious, for it’s important that I do so: the clitoris has a top, bottom and two sides, and each can have its own sensitivities at a point in time during the sexual act, and can respond differently to a specific type of stimulation. For example, you can start with the tongue, moving the clitoris from side to side or actually sucking the entire vulva area, including the clitoris. I have found the latter more effective, but it depends on the art of how you do it. Then you place your finger on the bottom or top of the clitoris and gently flip it up or down or enter the vagina and press your penis against it, holding it still for a while. But, to repeat, you’re also doing other things when you can, such as inflicting pain to the nipples or whispering in the ear opening the doors to her fantasies.”
“If you’re referring to an insensitive clitoris, they are around. Though I do this to most women when I enter the vagina, I do it more with the insensitive ladies. I enter, lift the penis and firmly press against the clitoris- and I don’t move for at least a minute. Of course, I’m doing other things at the same time. Then I stroke very, very slowly. This usually works.”
“… I’ve often wondered about the vaginal orgasm. If it’s there, how the hell does one by pass the clitoris and isolate the vagina? When you’re stroking away, you’re in contact with both the clitoris and vagina; plus, you’re doing other things. But I’ll make a couple of observations that support the vagina G-spot or spots. When you’re performing cunnilingus, sometimes women are really aroused but can’t quite come to climax. If you continue with that but then insert two fingers or a dildo into the vaginal canal and pump away, they almost always have orgasms. Also, I’ve come across women who- no matter what you do in addition to stimulating the clitoris- don’t reach climax until you insert the penis and stroke away.”
Though G never mentioned it, my reading of the above is that the female G-spot is the frenulum, Frenulum clitoridis!
It’s, like the male frenulum, loaded with sensitive nerves and located right under and smack against the clitoris. So when G was manipulating the clitoris, because of its location, he was also stimulating the frenulum. When he came upon an insensitive clitoris, he inserted and lifted his penis which pressed against the frenulum. And it worked! And when he spoke about a women who was sensitive to clitoral stimulation but could not come to climax unless her inserted his penis or a dildo, he concluded that there is a vaginal G-spot when, in fact, he actually stimulated the frenulum.
As in a criminal case, we are dealing here not with definite proof but circumstantial evidence. Without doubt, at this point the evidence is weak but not weak enough to exclude further pursuit of the case. In the meantime, let’s not forget the moisturized Vaseline!
We all like good news. Those of you who read my posts, however, may find it annoying that I periodically mention that a significant percentage of clinical studies are flawed and their conclusions not valid. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is. These studies even include sophisticated clinical ones conducted by medical experts at our prestigious medical institutions.
I’ve been searching the medical-health literature to find out whether orgasms are good for your health. Now you may not want to hear this, but the overwhelming majority of positive clinical reports were very unprofessional and seriously flawed, way more than in other medical studies. That’s not to say that the conclusions aren’t correct, but the data don’t support them.
Why is this so? There are number of reasons, one major one being that sexual benefits of health are not of as much interest to expert research doctors as, for example, the treatment of lung or breast cancer or manic depression. As a result, many of the studies are not designed and conducted by medical experts but usually by less disciplined investigators where the results are questionable. Also, sex is a very “hot” field, and men and women are understandably eager to embrace any type of information which is oftentimes misinformation. Because of this huge market-demand for sex information, there is a constant push and a rush to publish any kind of sex information regardless of the quality. Currently, there aren’t many places to find out the truth about sex and so this pattern, unfortunately, will continue for the foreseeable future.
Let’s take, as an example of exaggerated sex claims, a recent Huffington Post piece, “The 5 Health Benefits of Orgasms” where it is claimed that clinical research studies support that having only one orgasm a week has the following health benefits:
- Reduces the risk of mild depression
- Offers a 36% reduction of heart disease
- Boosts the immune system
- Fights the effects of chronic pain
- Strengthens the pelvic floor to keep everything in place and not leaking*
FYI, almost everything dramatically improves mild depression, including just the passing of time or a placebo. If only a once-a-week orgasm reduces heart disease by 36%, an incredibly dishonest claim, then nymphomaniacs should have the healthiest hearts of all! To my knowledge no one has looked into this possibility.
The Huffington Post writes about Karen Lorre, an actress and former Playmate, who describes her orgasm experience in, “Karen Lorre Has 11 Orgasms in One Day Thanks to ‘Orgasmic Meditation’.” She claims that the latter is a “…source of unlimited energy that’s found in all of us.” FYI, none of us has unlimited energy and few can have 11 orgasms a day- Orgasmic Meditation or no.
There are other orgasm-benefit claims such as prolonging life or longevity. To prove this in a medical study would, let’s say, require studying about 600,000 volunteers from birth to death dividing them into three groups: the first is never permitted to have an orgasm for their entire lives, not even by masturbation; the second once, a week and the third, twice a week. The volunteers must be constantly monitored to make sure they stick to their orgasm program. But maybe that won’t be necessary. The average life span of an American is about 77 years with women living to be about 80. That of Catholic nuns, however, is 86 years. One, therefore, can already make the argument that abstinence from orgasms prolongs life! That’s not farfetched for caloric reduction by the reduction of food intake significantly prolongs life in certain animals.
In conclusion, there are very few solid clinical studies that support the health benefit of orgasms. The good news is that there are reasonable clinical studies which report that sexual intercourse does not increase the risk of heart attacks even in most patients with heart disease. Regarding other significant risks in the pursuit and achievement of orgasms, there’s the economic one- but that’s another story.
*I’m assuming that the male pelvic floor is not included because, to my knowledge, it doesn’t leak.
The Wall Street Journal recently published an interview with the French novelist, Sophie Fontanel – Sophie Fontanel on ‘Sleeping Alone’. Because of her consistent disappointment with her sexual encounters with men, she gave up lying on her back for 12 years and didn’t regret it for she found it to be a more acceptable option. “When you are alone, you are free.” She claims to have learned more about the qualities of a strong relationship. At age 50 she changed her mind and, once more, ventured under the sheets with men.
I don’t need to convince you that we have entered the Age of Orgasms. There are powerful, huge money -earning market forces that, 24/7, keep pushing the need to have sex in all spheres of life to such an extent that even virgin high school students are forced, under peer pressure, to place on their bucket lists the objective to have sex with a male before entering college. Virgins, like last name mentionings, are fast disappearing.
There are, however, no huge, money-earning market forces selling the need of celibacy. What could be sold? A DVD on celibacy? Can a TV show “Celibate Girls” match the earnings of “Girls Gone Wild”? Apart from religious organizations, try to name a single big money- making commercial operation selling celibacy!
Though it is self- evident, sex is more than the actual momentary sex act itself be it pleasurable or displeasurable. It’s involved with the mind and how they both , Ping-Pong-like, impact one another. Also, the same holds true with celibacy. There are a few definitions of celibacy but let me give you the working one for this post. It’s when someone, either living alone, married or else in a long –time living together relationship, foregoes sexual intercourse. It can be for short or long- term periods depending on the life’s circumstances and the temperament of the man or woman.
As with many of life’s situations, there are little solid data on the nature of celibacy and, apart from religious reasons, why people prefer it. Let’s assume there are two major reasons. Firstly, is that they are not physically stimulated enough to pursue it and secondly, the risk/benefit ratio rules against it. For example, one can desire sex but the conditions in which they can have it results in more pain than pleasure as exemplified in Ms. Fontanel’s experience.
Millions of men and women are not turned on by sex, and it should not be a medical surprise. They can live either without it or on a limited basis mostly to please another. Celibacy is a natural biological state. There are people who talk a lot, those who remain silent and those in between. There are folks who eat a lot, those who eat little and those in between, and there are people who sleep a lot and those hardly at all and, you guessed it, those in between.
For cultural reasons, celibates are silent and reluctant to speak openly about the fact that the search for orgasms is not on their bucket lists.
Now to the irrefutable observation poised as a question that I mention periodically in my posts: “Has peace of mind and general tranquility increased with the dramatic increase in sexual activity due to the sexual revolution?” Let me ask another one. “Who do you think was a more contented person? Mother Teresa or Marilyn Monroe?”
Think about it.
Do Women in the Orient Enjoy Sex Much More than Women in the Occident? But do Occidental Women Enjoy Sex Much More then Gorilla Women?
Taoism is a spiritual custom, primarily in China, which embraces the belief in the natural forces of the yin and the yang. In the sexual act the yang is the male ejaculate and the yin is the female vaginal secretions. During sex the yin is believed to contain an abundance of divine energy which it delivers to the male, and, for this reason, men must withhold their ejaculations as long as possible and keep pumping away in order to absorb as much energy as possible from the yin while the women is lying on her back having multiple orgasms.
Tantra, a Hindu custom in India, calls the penis the lingam and the vagina the yoni. As with the Taoists guys, men must instruct their lingams to “hold it in” and not to ejaculate for as long as possible in order to receive the spiritual energy of the yoni. And as with the Chinese ladies, the Indian women lay prone also having multiple orgasms while the male, huffing and puffing and heavy with sweat, is pumping away.
But there is some consolation for the Occidental women for the Occidental male penis, when erected, is the largest and longest of all primates, including the biggest gorillas. The average erection size of the human male penis is about 5.5 inches while that of the gorilla is about 1.24 inches. The average time to come to ejaculation in men is 4 minutes while that of a gorilla is 1 minute. Though it’s impossible to conduct a survey between Occidental women and gorilla women to determine who has more fun during the sexual act, it is reasonable to assume that the latter would come in second.*
Though I haven’t read or heard about this for a long time and don’t know whether this is still believed in our country, it was taught that the ideal consummation of the sexual act was for both partners to experience their orgasms at the same time. This goes against the pleasures Tao and Tantra ladies for obvious reasons. On the other hand, a sign of masculinity in the old days- and I’m not sure whether it still holds- is that a good “stick man” can stroke away for a long time which favors the yang and yoni pleasures of women. I know of no credible data which favors the men’s pleasure in such situations.
*I’ll periodically repeat in my posts that the conclusions of many studies, even sophisticated medical ones, are flawed and the results questionable. I have found this to be overwhelmingly true in the sex literature including human and animal sex measurements. But there are repeated findings that are more or less consistent that should be respected, if not totally swallowed.