Just after the New Year, G and I had dinner in Manhattan with two “happily” married couples in their early 50’s. Both had two kids who were also “happily” married. Divorce had not yet touched their lives.
The couples read our book and knew about our interest in the world of sex and understandably slanted the dinner conversation to that topic. One of the women mentioned that she had just read in some magazine about a number of studies which report that an active sex life between a man and woman, particularly those who are married for a long time, is necessary to increase marital bliss. I was about to ask the couples if that held true for them, but held my tongue for they are products of the old school who highly value personal privacy.
Being curious about that claim, the next day I decided to do some research on clinical studies which evaluated the impact of sexual activity on happiness and marriage and found exactly what I expected. As I repeatedly emphasize on our posts, the conclusions of many clinical studies on sex, particularly surveys, are not at all definitive. I can assure you that the claims, and they are numerous, that more sex makes married men and women happier than those who have significantly less of it, were not proven. Not even close!
There are reports that many couples, yes, including men, are not that crazy about sex and, therefore, it does not play a major role in their lives. One study reported that the sex- life of working married couples over 40 was almost non-existent. If you read what’s going on today in the world of sex, because married men and women are living in very stressful times, they prefer to sleep and not copulate at bedtime. In one article, though tough to believe, young, married women are reluctant to give oral sex to their husbands, even once a month. These ladies don’t know what they’re missing because, though “hard to swallow”, one study reported that women who give oral sex are happier.
Here’s the conclusion of another “brilliant” survey study: Sex, drinking and partying bring more happiness than rearing children. And yet another typical study conclusion: Happiness is thinking that you get laid more than your friends. All are typical examples of very bad clinical studies flooding the media which are not to be believed. Unfortunately, there are few calling attention to this phenomenon, and many men and women buy into these misleading claims which often negatively impact their lives.
Getting back to sex, happiness and marriage: There are huge, powerful and pervasive market forces that are making married couples, who are not crazy about sex, feel as if there’s something wrong with them- when it’s not at all so. One unfortunate side effect of this misplaced assumption is for some to seek the “missing link” elsewhere. There was one inexcusable, misleading study which reported that married women who cheat on their husbands are happier with their lovers.
The sex drive is like everything else that’s natural in life. It varies with age and circumstances. It varies depending on biology, age and circumstances. One can naturally be hyper- energetic as a busy bee or lazy as a sloth; aggressive or passive and stubborn or flexible with degrees of levels of intensity in between.
Married couples and the rest of us rarely see, hear or read about the normality, stability and tranquility of limited or even absent sex. Though I’m not an expert on sex films, I can assure you that there are few, for example, depicting a naked couple happy as can be discussing what opera they should see at the Metropolitan Opera Company and forgo sex. Also, there are very few, if any, steamy sex novels on happy married couples who decide to limit their sex to the first Monday of each month and maybe two days in a row on their birthdays- God willing! I believe that this, the- little- bit- of- sex married couples market, is a wide-open, innovative opportunity for creative media producers.
I don’t know about Neanderthals, but since Homo sapiens- that’s us- married men and women do not ride a roller-coaster of sex particularly with the oncoming of the years. Historic and current common experience clearly tells us that sex is not the driving force in a long term, happy marriage and can, instead, have an “unhappy” effect. Certainly the sexual revolution has stimulated the quest for increased sexual adventures and, in certain cases, increased the accompanying pleasures, but this will not change the fact that it is not a big deal in many marriages- happy or not!
Gloria Steinem, the famous feminist, recently extolled how being libertated from her sexual drive has opened new wonderful horizons in her life. Though she attributed this new- found freedom to her old age, it applies to all states where sex is not a driving force. She said, “The brain cells that used to be obsessed (with sex) are now free for all kinds of things.”
You may now be wondering what, then, are the secrets of a happy marriage. Tons of books have been written about this, and I don’t pretend to have the specific answers. Certainly there’s the glue or interior force called “chemistry” or “love”* between a man and a woman. Then there are the external factors such as good health and enough money to periodically take your honeybun to dinner at your favorite restaurant.
Conclusion: Patterns in the world of sex are multiple and normal and not having much sex is one such pattern that can play a critical role in a happy marriage.
*What recently hit me like a thunderbolt is the virtual absence of the word “love” in all non-religious media dealing with sex in both marital and non-marital states. Did you ever think about this and what message it’s sending? Let’s talk about this in a future post.
DILDOS, VIBRATORS AND A HUGE MARKET OPPORTUNITY FOR ARTIFICIAL VAGINAS BY A CREATIVE TECHNOLOGY ENTREPRENEUR
In order to stay in touch with our fast moving modern world, one thing that I do is to periodically scan multiple television channels concentrating, though not entirely, on the news including conservative and liberal opinion ones. I’m not sure how many channels I have, but they are in the multiple hundreds. Don’t ask me why but last night, for the first time, I scanned the upper channel range and discovered they all deal with old movies. I was about to turn the TV off but decided to click to one more channel and was I surprised! It was a video on the famous Cathouse, a legal house of prostitution in Nevada. One scene was a revelation to me and piqued my curiosity.
One of the ladies said that she and her lady colleagues had to stay sexually stimulated in order to be motivated to service the men. This was news to me. I do have some doubts whether this true in most houses of prostitution, but who knows. Anyway, in order to keep their passions on fire, they heavily depend on dildos and vibrators. Her collection of what seemed like a dozen such erotic devices was displayed. It comprised mostly artificial penises and some vibrators. In addition, she and her colleagues have belts connected to an artificial penis or dildo which they use to copulate with the other ladies of the night and, I would guess, to sodomize them and their men clients. Some men and women enjoy performing oral sex on these dildos. I understand that some preferred the flavored type.
For whatever reason, I became curious about artificial vaginas. I was too curious to watch the finale of the show and went directly to my computer and searched for “artificial vaginas”- and there they were. But I was truly surprised for they were only on a relatively few websites. I thought there would be many more, including life-size lady mannequins.
Speaking of mannequins, here’s an interesting fact: During World War II, Hitler decided to send soft, inflatable female mannequins with vaginas to his troops on the front battlefield lines in order to give them the comfort of a woman’s company and, of course, to enjoy their orgasms. Much to the credit of the German soldiers, they were embarrassed and refused the offer. Also, “Facing the enemy, they would want to fight rather than fuck.”
I called G, and he professed ignorance of the details of the artificial vagina scene. We blamed ourselves for being out of touch with the modern world of sex. So, for educational purposes, we decided to call our male friends and other male contacts and ask them what they knew about artificial vaginas. We spoke to about 20 of them of ages ranging from about 25 to 75. All vaguely knew about their existence, but they not only never used one, but knew of no one who had.
G and I wondered why this humongous potential market had not arrived. Then it suddenly dawned on us. It’s technology. The artificial vaginas, unlike dildos and vibrators, are not functional or consumer friendly enough to make for easy use. Dildos are flexible, very easy to use and do a number of things. They can wiggle like a snake and, at the same time, vibrate both on the clitoris and in the vagina. And, as long as the battery is charged or the wire plugged in, they can perform forever which, according to G, some women love. But G said that there are women who aren’t turned on by vibration dildos. Also, they are also very easy to clean which may be a big problem with an artificial vagina. But, in my opinion, one major advantage is that they are portable! You can put and hide them in a woman’s pocketbook- FYI, men don’t carry pocketbooks- which she can use whenever the occasion calls for it even in a restaurant’s ladies room. G and I have noticed that, unlike men, women are notoriously not comfortable sitting on a public toilet seat and only do number 1 by squatting above it. Doing number 2 is unthinkable because one must be seated to do so or cause a mess. But, if she’s turned- on by her date, she does have the option to be seated and turn on the battery. (By the way, G and I also have noticed that women don’t drink much, if any, water during dinner).
I did a dildo-vibrator search on the Internet and, unlike the handful of artificial vagina websites, the dildo ones seemed infinite! This clearly tells us that the female products are much, much more consumer friendly than artificial vaginas.
Conclusion: Since there is an overwhelming, bullish male orgasm- seeking market, it makes compelling sense that the virtual absence of the artificial vagina market is primarily due to the failure of technology to produce a consumer or male friendly device from portable pocket pussies to big or small breasted but always with tight vaginas, voluptuous, inflatable mannequins.
But my mindset as a physician-scientist makes me wonder if there are also other reasons why men may not be as enthusiastic about making love to an artificial vagina as one would expect. Even assuming that the vagina products are inferior, we all know that males are a horny bunch and would at least purchase substantially more devices than they do, friendly or not. Perhaps it’s in the male psychology that turns them off. I don’t know and both G and I don’t think so, but it’s a point to consider.
There is, however, one fact that’s not debatable which makes the design of an artificial vagina much more complicated than female toys. It involves two steps. First, unlike females, it’s getting a hard-on or, to our international friends, an erection, which is necessary to insert into a vagina- artificial or not! Perhaps the seductive voice of a woman should be part of the device containing a selection of themes for his choosing from teasing to domination or whatever turns on his BGL or Brain Genital Law. Or it can be programmed in his cellphone. Sure, there’s Viagra, but it’s not nearly as stimulating as a woman’s voice and the combination of the two. Second, the vagina then must do its thing such as fit comfortably, be at the right temperature, produce smooth, and rhythmic contractions at different speeds, among others in order to bring the male to climax. It can be portable or large and non-portable. A flexible product line is necessary to meet the demand.
Let me deviate for a moment and explain to you why a properly designed device would be a wonderful gift to my old and dear friend, G. I told this story before but am not sure whether in a previous post or in the book. Over dinner one night I told him of my penis experience as a young doctor. A man came into the emergency room in excruciating pain of his penis. He had a fractured penis of which the most common cause is when a woman sits on the top of a stiff erection and vigorously pumping away which is what happened to him. His urethra was broken and the poor guy couldn’t pee. The only cure for this condition is to ram a catheter into the penis and create a new urethra, an extremely painful experience that any man would not welcome. G had many encounters with women on the top, but after I told him the fractured penis story he was always fearful of the possibility of experiencing the same thing and could never relax and enjoy it. Now with a properly designed artificial vagina he could lie, without fear, on his back, without exerting himself and let himself go!
Getting back to faux vaginas: A friend told me that in Japan there’s an impressive market for “male masturbators.” He says they prefer not to use the term artificial vagina. Evidently, using one of these devices, a man won the world prize by masturbating for almost 10 hours without cardiac resuscitation!
Shakespeare wrote, “What’s in a name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” So also with a male masturbator: It’s an outright artificial vagina.
During my career I’ve witnessed many new markets blossom into huge money makers. The artificial vagina market is such a potential market. Enrico Fermi, the brilliant Italian physicist and father of the atomic bomb, once asked a question about the existence of extraterrestrial life what is now called the Fermi Paradox. If there are billions of planets in the Universe for billions of years many of which have life forms, he asked, “ If so, where are they?”
I ask, “Regarding the artificial vagina entrepreneurs for Lorenzo Baccalà’s Three P’s Paradox: The Portable Pocket Pussy: Where are they?”
(Personal confession: I never attended a Catholic school but, for reasons down deep in the unknowable caverns of the mind, I became highly interested in Catholicism while in college and my early medical school years. I did a lot of reading- still do- and took selected courses at St. Joseph’s Jesuit College in Philadelphia and eventually became a firm believer in the Catholic faith. It was a once-in-a lifetime experience, and I sorely miss the beauty and strength of it all. But even during my most deeply religious period I did not buy into the argument against oral or other acceptable types of contraception).
Because it appears that the issue of contraception and Catholicism is entering a phase of re-evaluation, I thought it would be helpful to describe its history and other points. Let’s begin by remembering the profound religious spirit of the Catholic Church’s position: It’s based on the love and the sanctity of life. Christ said that God loves each individual and he-she is more important than the entire universe. No matter who you are, it’s tough to deny that this is a wonderful, uplifting belief unless, of course, you wear unbudgeable emotional blinders because of lots of psychological childhood trauma.
Now the Church’s “rationale” holds that some type of “killing of life” is committed by artificially or unnaturally preventing conception with oral contraceptives. The same holds true with condoms and diaphragms, among others. It describes the natural sexual act in four stages: erection, penetration and semination and that which follows- conception. Any interruption of this act is in violation of the natural law.
The theological argument is largely based on a single biblical event and the writings of the early Church fathers. It begins in the Old Testament with Onan in Genesis and then mainly by the opinions of St. Augustine and St. Aquinas. Onan was making love to his brother’s widow and just before ejaculation he pulled out and “spilled his seed on the ground”. For this reason God killed him “because he did a detestable thing”. Catholic and, let’s not forget, other non-Catholic theologians viewed this as punishment for interrupting the natural sexual act which prevented the birth of a potential human being. Maybe they didn’t know or acknowledge what their Jewish colleagues believed. It was a Jewish belief that the brother of his deceased brother is obligated to try to marry and impregnate the widow.
Buying into the “pulling out” argument Augustine wrote, “Relationships with a wife, when conception is deliberately prevented, are unlawful and impure as the conduct of Onan who was slain.” Centuries later St. Aquinas wrote, “Next to murder, by which an actually existent being is destroyed, we rank this sin by which the generation of a human being is prevented.” (Though it bothers me to criticize this brilliant and good man, he did, for certain reasons and not pertinent to this commentary, reluctantly support the need for the profession of prostitution where primitive contraceptive methods were employed).
Since ancient times all kinds of contraceptive and abortifacient methods were used such as dried crocodile dung placed in a vagina suppository, a mixture of olive oil and cedar oil in the vagina, suppositories of cabbage, women drinking sheep’s urine and the one that really makes me think who thought this one up: a woman on her knees and then sneezes. In my notes, however, I have that she must also try to fart. Regarding men, the penis was immersed in onion juice. Condoms were also used made from animal intestines. Shakespeare called them a “Venus glove” and Casanova called them an “Assurance cap”.
Jumping forward to modern times, the Catholic Church, recognizing the obvious need and demand for birth control, came up with the rhythm system. The rhythm system uses the elevation of body temperature and alterations of physical properties of cervical secretions during the menstrual cycle in order to determine when a woman is ovulating and potentially fertile. My personal experience as a young endocrinologist supported by clinical studies is that in tightly controlled, highly motivated marital relationships it is an effective method but requires lots of discipline which many lack. Also, overall conclusions of clinical studies involving all types of folks report that oral contraception is more reliable and practical than the rhythm system.
Whatever your thoughts on the Church’s contraception teachings, it is undeniably founded on the noble sacredness of life. Jesus said that an individual is worth more than the entire Universe. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it were true? Who knows?
But I believe that preventing the joining of a sperm with an egg doesn’t destroy life simply because it doesn’t yet exist. After all, the intent of the rhythm system and even abstinence, though “natural” is to prevent the birth of a child, artificial method or not. The intent is the same. Once, however, the sperm enters the egg- that’s another story.
Attempts at contraception occur in all cultures from Hindus, Muslim to Judaism but none treats it as a serious sin. In fact, Onanism is a long time Muslim practice.
We mustn’t forget we’re in an era where the value of individual human life is being inexorably diminished. The argument against contraception is an effort to maintain the sanctity of life, and if a couple believes in this, God bless them. After all, if you’re reading this post, it’s because your mom and dad did not or forgot to use contraceptives! Something to think about.
Though G made love to about 300 women, he claims that very few lady lovers really lighted up his candles on an artful, elevated level. I suggested that maybe it’s because he usually had marathon- intense type sessions paying almost exclusive attention to them, and they simply were too satiated and hapily exhausted to have enough energy to pay sufficient attention to him. But he quickly dismissed this possibility. He firmly believes that the vast majority of women, like men, are mediocre lovers. He said that after their orgasms women are still energized and capable to continue with the sexual act while men are usually big-time relaxed, out of gas and just want to take a break or call it a day.
He said, “Look, Lorenzo, women have many more weapons to stimulate the sexual passions of men than men have for women. No matter what the modern propaganda is spewing out, men are big time hornier and infinitely more easily to stimulate than women. Men don’t have tits with cleavages to sensually flaunt them, beauty- enhancing make-up, particularly around the eyes, and sensuous asses.”
G paused and said, “I may take part of that back. I, would you believe, met a few women who were turned on by Mel Gibson’s ass. They were older ones. By the way, some said the same about my rear end, but that’s all I’ll say about that.”
G was really puzzled why women with so many sexual stimulating weapons hardly use or know how to use them. (Let’s not forget that he’s talking about having sex on a very high, sophisticated level). I decided to cut to the quick and asked, “G, what advice would you give to a woman to make her a bona fide lover like you?”
For some unknown reason, this question rubbed G wrong, and he shot back, “Lorenzo, I don’t like to be called a bona fide lover, and let’s drop that label.”
“Okay; let’s get to the point: How does a woman become a talented lover when it comes to a man?”
“There is no specific physical formula or recipe like, for example, the composition of the earth’s crust or fiori di zucchini. But there is one word that explains it all. It’s teasing!”
“G, if that’s true, why don’t we hear or see this word more often? The literature on sex advice is enormous, and I periodically scan it to see what’s going on. I don’t remember coming across that word except for now and then.”
“Who the hell knows? We can talk about this forever but let me give you the skinny with a few comments, and I’ll try not to sound like a professor of logic. I discussed the teasing art technique with the small number of the women who effectively teased me, and we were all in sync.
“In my vocabulary, teasing is a form of seduction. Generally speaking, during foreplay and the sexual act men prefer to be teased or seduced while women prefer to be dominated. Now there are two parts to teasing- the mental and physical. I can’t emphasize enough that both must generally be performed slowly, unlike delightful orgasm quickies which can effectively rid the mind of agita– for a short time.
“It all starts with the mystery and magic of body language from how she moves to the expression on her face. It’s what she wears, how she walks and how she talks. For example, my lady friends all agree that woman wearing high heels sitting with a short skirt pulled half-way up the thighs with her legs crossed stimulate men more than being naked and walking around with high heels. For the record, whether it’s true or not, the ladies tell me that the more sophisticated males are not that much turned on by stiletto heels. They also agree that regardless of breast size, it’s best to wear a top that has a suggestive cleavage, which becomes more effective when leaning forward. I can tell that in the foreplay phase, a bare-chested woman is nowhere as sensual as one with partially covered breasts which are seductively exposed. If done right, breast size, my friend, doesn’t matter. It’s all in the presentation along with her other wares.
“And then there’s the face and the eyes, those mirrors of the soul. The whole hit has to be inviting. Either you have that look or you don’t. It’s interesting to note that this quality, unlike some others, many women naturally have but don’t employ it, which is both a mystery and tragedy!
“Lorenzo, there’s so much, much more that a woman can do; for example, when and how to disrobe and how to twang instead of twerk. Once more, all these movements must be done slowly. I can write a book about this. Don’t get your hopes up, my friend, it ain’t going to happen!”
‘G, one more point. You’re talking about foreplay but what about initiating the real thing?”
“Okay; then I’ll say no more. The hands of a woman are extremely important in this phase but, now don’t think I’m going overboard, but they’re not great at using them. It puzzles the hell out of me. My lady friends, by the way, tell me the same about men. Hands should be receptively and firmly soft slowly probing men’s G spots including the face. While doing so and with a soft tone of voice, she should ask questions like, ‘Do you like this?’ or ‘Am I getting close?’ or ‘Shall I move on?’ while her her hands are still on the body parts either moving or at rest.
“And the man must be convinced that she is entirely selfless and dedicated to her goal to teasing him not with the language of a therapist but with sincere vocal tones that she really means it. I believe a woman will really enjoy the teasing approach once she learns and gets comfortable with it. To repeat, why they don’t do these enough puzzles the shit out of me. And let me repeat; I’m talking about high level sex which is an art form that must be developed and nurtured.”
I then asked, “G, can this approach be taught or is it an innate instinct?”
“That’s a great question, Lorenzo. Somebody, and I’m serious about this, should open “The Art of Teasing School for Women”, and my gut feeling is that a man should head it: Maybe with a woman. It could earn a ton of money which then can be franchised like McDonald’s!”
As a goad, I asked, “G, would you like to establish the first one?”
He laughed heartily and answered, “Lorenzo, I’m happy with my cabin in the mountains and my pad in Manhattan. These modern women who I’m meeting are certainly different than my 300 in the past. But, on second thought, not fundamentally so. Not yet. Who knows?”
*Part 2 on men will follow.
Increasingly, much of sex behavior is being mislabeled as sexual addiction. Lots of folks are buying into this misconception and are understandably very much concerned about themselves and others for there are all types of sexual behavior going on, including those never before experienced, such as sexting or watching a porn movie on a computer in the privacy of one’s room. So where is the line drawn between non-addictive and additive sex?
In a movie preview New York Post article of Thanks for Sharing starring Gwyneth Paltrow, examples of sex addiction cited included voyeurism and watching a woman dance in her underwear. If the latter is true, then all men in the world are addicts! Dewayne Jones, the executive producer of the TV reality series, Bad Sex, believes that nobody can be totally sexually happy. Now “totally” is a big word, and since we haven’t surveyed all the world’s men and women, we cannot know this. On the other hand, there is certainly a solid core of truth in his belief. But this unhappiness of which he refers to is not principally due to addiction but, as I mentioned previously, to the powerful Brain Genital Law or BGL. It’s insatiable and once set free or deregulated as is happening today, it seeks relief or expression anyway it can get it.
What is sexual addiction? To my knowledge, a concrete medical-scientific definition does not exist. Attempts at definition include practically every natural sexual act from masturbation to sodomy to visiting prostitutes. But, even if it exists, where is the normal-addiction line drawn? How many times must a man or woman masturbate or undergo or perform sodomy or visit a prostitute to be classified as an addict? Once, three times a week or how about twice a month? And why are they labeled addicts for doing so when they are natural expressions of the BGL and our sexually permissive society?
The American Psychiatric Association update of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DMS-5, which has expanded categories of mental disorders, does not mention sexual addiction. It’s, however, currently a rapidly expanding cultural term that has a strong sticking quality.
Here’s my concern: We’re now in a media-fed sex frenzy fueled by seriously flawed information where both men and women are being mislabeled as sexual addicts when, to repeat, there is no workable definition of it. The psychological and economic impact on such individuals will increasingly result in harm to them, their families and friends, among others.
Now this is what I’m afraid of: The increasingly intrusive hand of law is entering the general sex arena where sexual controversies from who owns the frozen egg to who owns the baby of a surrogate mother will be increasingly common and settled in the courts. Cases of sex addiction may soon follow. Convicted “addicts” will be forced to undergo therapy which will be stamped on their public records. Ask yourself, “Who wants to associate with or hire or marry a sex addict?”
I’m not trying to downplay the existence of sexual addiction but simply trying to have its limits defined before it spins way out of control and lots of men and women are hurt. Don’t forget we’ve now entered the “era of addictions” where the addiction label is being used loosely to many human acts.
Paradoxically, there is indeed a welcomed side to the sexual- addiction- labeling movement. It’s an implicit recognition by our country that the BGL is going out of control, and that, in a sense, it’s an attempt to pull the reins in on it.
In a recent post, I raised the possibility that the frenulum is the male G-spot. It’s located at the base of the penis where the back part of the glans or head meets the shaft. Then I remembered what G had to say about women when I interviewed him in the book, The Man Who Made Love to More Women than Casanova. G, who bedded with about 300 women, claims that there is no specific female G-spot. In the book, here’s what he had to say about it, the clitoris and the vagina:
“Regarding what stimulates the clitoris the most, I have no general formula for it can vary, even during the same sexual encounter.”
“Now let me state the obvious, for it’s important that I do so: the clitoris has a top, bottom and two sides, and each can have its own sensitivities at a point in time during the sexual act, and can respond differently to a specific type of stimulation. For example, you can start with the tongue, moving the clitoris from side to side or actually sucking the entire vulva area, including the clitoris. I have found the latter more effective, but it depends on the art of how you do it. Then you place your finger on the bottom or top of the clitoris and gently flip it up or down or enter the vagina and press your penis against it, holding it still for a while. But, to repeat, you’re also doing other things when you can, such as inflicting pain to the nipples or whispering in the ear opening the doors to her fantasies.”
“If you’re referring to an insensitive clitoris, they are around. Though I do this to most women when I enter the vagina, I do it more with the insensitive ladies. I enter, lift the penis and firmly press against the clitoris- and I don’t move for at least a minute. Of course, I’m doing other things at the same time. Then I stroke very, very slowly. This usually works.”
“… I’ve often wondered about the vaginal orgasm. If it’s there, how the hell does one by pass the clitoris and isolate the vagina? When you’re stroking away, you’re in contact with both the clitoris and vagina; plus, you’re doing other things. But I’ll make a couple of observations that support the vagina G-spot or spots. When you’re performing cunnilingus, sometimes women are really aroused but can’t quite come to climax. If you continue with that but then insert two fingers or a dildo into the vaginal canal and pump away, they almost always have orgasms. Also, I’ve come across women who- no matter what you do in addition to stimulating the clitoris- don’t reach climax until you insert the penis and stroke away.”
Though G never mentioned it, my reading of the above is that the female G-spot is the frenulum, Frenulum clitoridis!
It’s, like the male frenulum, loaded with sensitive nerves and located right under and smack against the clitoris. So when G was manipulating the clitoris, because of its location, he was also stimulating the frenulum. When he came upon an insensitive clitoris, he inserted and lifted his penis which pressed against the frenulum. And it worked! And when he spoke about a women who was sensitive to clitoral stimulation but could not come to climax unless her inserted his penis or a dildo, he concluded that there is a vaginal G-spot when, in fact, he actually stimulated the frenulum.
As in a criminal case, we are dealing here not with definite proof but circumstantial evidence. Without doubt, at this point the evidence is weak but not weak enough to exclude further pursuit of the case. In the meantime, let’s not forget the moisturized Vaseline!
Do Women in the Orient Enjoy Sex Much More than Women in the Occident? But do Occidental Women Enjoy Sex Much More then Gorilla Women?
Taoism is a spiritual custom, primarily in China, which embraces the belief in the natural forces of the yin and the yang. In the sexual act the yang is the male ejaculate and the yin is the female vaginal secretions. During sex the yin is believed to contain an abundance of divine energy which it delivers to the male, and, for this reason, men must withhold their ejaculations as long as possible and keep pumping away in order to absorb as much energy as possible from the yin while the women is lying on her back having multiple orgasms.
Tantra, a Hindu custom in India, calls the penis the lingam and the vagina the yoni. As with the Taoists guys, men must instruct their lingams to “hold it in” and not to ejaculate for as long as possible in order to receive the spiritual energy of the yoni. And as with the Chinese ladies, the Indian women lay prone also having multiple orgasms while the male, huffing and puffing and heavy with sweat, is pumping away.
But there is some consolation for the Occidental women for the Occidental male penis, when erected, is the largest and longest of all primates, including the biggest gorillas. The average erection size of the human male penis is about 5.5 inches while that of the gorilla is about 1.24 inches. The average time to come to ejaculation in men is 4 minutes while that of a gorilla is 1 minute. Though it’s impossible to conduct a survey between Occidental women and gorilla women to determine who has more fun during the sexual act, it is reasonable to assume that the latter would come in second.*
Though I haven’t read or heard about this for a long time and don’t know whether this is still believed in our country, it was taught that the ideal consummation of the sexual act was for both partners to experience their orgasms at the same time. This goes against the pleasures Tao and Tantra ladies for obvious reasons. On the other hand, a sign of masculinity in the old days- and I’m not sure whether it still holds- is that a good “stick man” can stroke away for a long time which favors the yang and yoni pleasures of women. I know of no credible data which favors the men’s pleasure in such situations.
*I’ll periodically repeat in my posts that the conclusions of many studies, even sophisticated medical ones, are flawed and the results questionable. I have found this to be overwhelmingly true in the sex literature including human and animal sex measurements. But there are repeated findings that are more or less consistent that should be respected, if not totally swallowed.
Many of my posts are somehow related to DeFelice’s Brain Genital Law or BGL (www.thedecrapitationsociety.com). The doctor is quite on target. He claims that, like with gravity and chemistry, there must be a Sex Law which explains the nature of sexual behavior. He describes, in evolutionary terms, that in order to propagate the race and produce offspring, the brain has created a multitude of difficult to resist, sexually stimulatory mechanisms to encourage copulation between a man and women. In doing so, however, the BGL has not yet become target-specific to the copulation between a man and woman only but broadly nondiscriminatory leading to all types of sexual expression from cross- dressing to homosexuality to snuff movies and, now, to sexting ones genitals and rear ends. He claims these expressions are all natural, amoral acts and should be understood as such by our society.
But then he stresses that all societies, civilized or not, have primarily encouraged heterosexual acts through the institution of marriage significantly limiting other modes of sexual expressions by legal or cultural regulations. He claims that there is a critical message to such limitations which we are ignoring in our sexual liberation movement by too rapidly deregulating sexual behavior and ignoring the warning lessons of history.
His conclusion? We must deregulate the BGL at a much slower rate in order to more wisely accommodate and more wisely regulate it. If not, individual and cultural chaos will follow, and the government will step in to heavily limit its free expression. He claims it is inevitable.
Interesting stuff, indeed. Give it a read.
- What Ever Happened To Sexual Perversion? (lorenzobaccala.wordpress.com)
“Sex is like fire. It can warm up your home or burn it down.”
The battle of self- interest among individuals and groups is a natural phenomenon. Women self- interest groups have won the battle over men in our universities and in the work place, and they are to be congratulated. It was believed, however, that the military was immune to female activism because of the nature of warfare which, historically, has been a man thing. Not so today. Our political leaders, uncompromisingly pushed by our President, have further opened the doors for women to be in closer quarters to men whether on an aircraft carrier, in a tank or trench or in boot camp crawling through the bushes. I don’t know about the situation in modern submarines which have cramped quarters and stay underwater for a long time.
Women are now common, highly active and unabashedly sexual aggressors. I am told that it is a dishonor for young teenage ladies to remain virgins. New recruits for the Armed Services are young hormone driven men and women where sexual passions and attempts at their fulfillment are pervasive. And, if you don’t think the prevalence of these will increase, just take a look at the photo of Israeli gun-toting female soldiers. A picture, indeed, is worth a thousand words!
The Department of Defense released a report regarding “unwanted sexual contact” including a survey. Though the survey reported that more males have experienced unwanted sexual happenings, only 2% officially report them versus 90% of women. The human characteristic of tattle telling is much more common among women than men which is supported by the constant headlines of exposing male hanky- panky by ladies such as with Weiner’s wienerwurst and Spitzer’s prostitutes. And this pattern this will inevitably increase. In addition, women have a highly significant advantage over men with respect to producing objective evidence. Men don’t get pregnant!
Defense Secretary Charles Hagel called the military sex scene, “A huge problem.” He discussed it with President Obama who said that he believes there is no silver bullet to solve the problem, and it’s going to “take all of us to solve it”- whatever that means. I’ve got news. It is not solvable! We have entered the age of orgasms which expressions cannot be denied unless by forceful means.
Let’s step back and, like a corporate strategist, ask some fundamental core questions. What is the purpose of the military? Answer: To protect our country. Right? Do women in our military, particularly with new groundrules, enhance or diminish our national strength?
Our government has not addressed the latter question. Certainly it is obvious that the 200,000 women and 1.2 million men in the Armed Services, working together, can significantly increase our national strength if structured wisely. But which it is not. I fear, given our current system, the sex factor will result in the opposite.
The following is a statement made by the Army chief of staff, General Raymond Odierno, a good man but under lots of political pressure, before the Senate Armed Services Committee: “… combating sexual assault and sexual harassment within the ranks is our No. 1 priority.” Shouldn’t he have added, “In order to strengthen our national security?”
*There is no general law regarding sex such as Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Visit www.thedecrapitationsociety.com and read DeFelice’s Brain Genital Law or BGL which addresses all human sexual behavior.
- Sexual assault in the military: Victims tell their stories (pennlive.com)
- 60 removed from US military jobs in sexual assault review (worldbulletin.net)