It seems that the dinners among me, G and the widow are becoming a regular gathering. This evening G made one of his specialty pastas with gravy he found hard to master until recently: it’s a sweet- medium hot, light chunky tomato red meatless sauce. It’s a knockout!
During dinner the widow mentioned that she just saw Fifty Shades of Grey and asked whether we had also seen it, which we hadn’t and, to tell the truth, we’re not that anxious to see it. She remarked that 70 percent of the ticket buyers around the country are females, and it’s highly probable that a good percentage of the men were forcibly dragged there by the ladies. She observed that in three film reviews that she read- all written by women- what turned them on the most were not the physical domination scenes themselves, but the seduction ones where Mr. Grey displayed his masculine strength just by commanding the situation knowing he was in charge of directing everything. She then added that she agreed with the reviewers and, even at her age, that caused her to mentally surrender a little and heat her up a little. She then asked, “G, what do you think of that? What’s the difference between physical domination and seduction?”
Much to our surprise, G burst out into robust laughter. “How many times have I been asked that question! It always puzzles me that people don’t know that words or languages were not meant for definition purposes. What the hell is love, and what’s a horse’s ass? Try to define them! In the Casanova book, I address the differences, but there’s lots of overlap so you really can’t clearly separate the two. What is clear, however, is that both deal with control and surrender of one’s will to another in search for sexual satisfaction. But my experiences taught me that seduction is heavily mental and domination significantly more physical. Seduction is more prone to lead to deeper short and long term relationships than domination. Believe it or not, I had many discussions about this subject with my lady friends in the past while we were relaxing and just talking- which intervals I enjoyed and, to tell you the truth, miss a lot. Now that I’m searching my memory bank, there’s no doubt that my lady friends also felt that seduction, particularly when done on a superior level, could be a more permanent and threatening type of mental submission whereas they were more secure with domination for they felt that it was a short-lived sexual hit and non-psychologically threatening . There’s no doubt that there is a big difference between the two but, to repeat, words cannot adequately describe it.”
G paused, lighted his pipe, puffed away, sipped his wine and, as usual when in deep thought, stared at the ceiling. While still gazing, he observed, “This is what puzzles the shit out of me. There are tons of media outlets on dominatrix sex today usually with a woman portrayed in a black outfit with her breasts bulging from her brassiere and netted black socks along with black boots verbally commanding while physically punishing a man where he is also required to call her ‘mistress’. In otherwords, it’s mainly a man’s -and not woman’s- fantasy thing that’s on center media stage. Almost everybody now knows the word ‘dominatrix’ but what is the word for a man who dominates women? There is no commonly accepted word, yet that’s what the Shades book and movie are all about and why women are flocking to it hoping to turn on their fantasies and hoping to mentally take them to bed with their lovers and choose to imagine the appropriate ones at the right time to bring on and maximize their orgasms.”
The widow, obviously real curious, asked, “G, what did you ask the ladies to call you? Dominator? Did the ladies make up their own names?”
G’s facial expression suddenly turned to one of youthful curiosity like when one is trying to answer a profound philosophic question. “You know, my love, that’s a fascinating question for it can tell a lot about how women perceive a seduction-domination scene. Unlike a dominatrix, most of the times I didn’t demand that a woman addressing me by a specific name. My art was to, in a relaxed kind of way, persistently get her to imagine the fantasy scene that turns her on the most at the critical point of our love-making. Sure, particularly with the intelligent, attractive women who frequently found it difficult to let loose and after drinks and light doses of recreational substances, I would demand that they call me ‘master’ and, this is interesting to note, now that I think about it: there was almost always a pause before they could pronounce the word, but once they did it was a complete surrender and they would let loose on their thoughts and fantasies.”
We were about to dig into the pasta when the widow observed, “G, there’s no cheese for the pasta on the table. Do you have any?”
“Yes, I do.” And then he remained silent and still.
The widow knew it was up to her to break the silence by asking the logical question. Smiling, she asked, “Well, my friend, where the hell is it?”
Returning her smile with a bigger one, G remarked, “You remind me of Alexis Lichine. Do you remember him?”
“Of course I do. He was married to that beautiful actress, Arlene Dahl, and had a vineyard somewhere in France and, I believe, sold his wine here. G, how in the world did you connect that guy with me and the cheese? “
“Well, in those days Europeans rarely used ice cubes in their drinks or even refrigerated them including soda water. I remember when I first started going there in the sixties, I had to ask the bartenders to go to the kitchen, where there were big ice blocks, and chip away at them and put the chips in my martini. I was considered, in an affectionate way, an oddball American, and, frankly speaking, I enjoyed having that image. We had lots of laughs over this, which is tough to explain why.”
“G, I’m happy that you were happy, but, once more, what has that to do with the goddamn cheese?”
“Well, Lichine said that Americans, because of their love of cold drinks, were born with refrigerators in their mouths, and I say the same with cheese and pasta. Instead of initially tasting the pasta without cheese, they automatically pour the stuff over the pasta before the first taste masking the taste of a potentially knock-out sauce. Generally speaking, I first taste the sauce and pasta without the cheese and then make the decision whether or not to sprinkle it over the pasta. If the taste is good, I forego the cheese though I sometimes add it on at the end for an additional gustatory hit. If the sauce is not good, then, without hesitation, I sprinkle the cheese up front.”
G then stood up, walked to the kitchen counter and brought the cheese bowl to the table and, with playful, but challenging eyes, placed it directly in front of her as if it were a dare.
The wise widow, while returning his playful look with her playful one, which is one of the most pleasurable moments between a man and a woman, gently pushed the bowl aside and began to cautiously taste the cheese- less pasta. After our first forkfuls and wine gulps, the widow made a request. “G, I am not letting you off the hook. The next time I get together with my lady friends I know that the Shades movie will be on the agenda. I want to have ‘one up’ on them. Based on your experience, give me one example of one of your most effective domination scenes and one of your seduction ones.”
For some unfathomable reason, G remained silent and appeared agitated. Observing this, I, Lorenzo, asked, “G, what’s cooking?”
For whatever reason, he abruptly stood up and stared at both of us. “Frankly speaking, I’ve, in one way or another, addressed this question many times in the past and am in no mood to answer them tonight or anytime soon.”
Now looking at the widow, he added, “If you’re looking for some kind of sexual secret that’s exclusive with me, I’m sure it doesn’t exist and other men have discovered it and women loved it. But I will tell you about those six of my favorite words that I occasionally but carefully used which took me closest to a woman by opening up her mind than any other thing that I did. Many would call it ‘fantasy’ which is okay. I, however, prefer the word ‘reality’ which is a broader term of what sex is all about where fantasy is a subdivision of it. Am I getting too complicated?”
The widow, with a woman’s curiosity oozing from her body language, responded, “Not at all, G. Keep going.”
“Now I want to emphasize that this is not for everybody for they have to be spoken at the right time to the right woman, and she has to be absolutely convinced that you mean it and can do it. I, of course, only used these 6 words when we were on our way and the woman was sexually stimulated and mentally comfortable to where we were going. The words, when taken out on context, don’t seem like much but, believe me, they can be powerfully mind releasing. A few times the response was so emotionally heavy and explosive that I decided to back down, which was tough to do because the ladies passionately wanted to continue. And let me tell you I learned so much about women in those sessions. They were beautiful moments.”
G then leaned forward, softly cuddled the widow’s hand between both of his and teasingly asked, “Are you ready to hear them?”
“I’d like to explore your mind.”