The Wall Street Journal recently published an interview with the French novelist, Sophie Fontanel – Sophie Fontanel on ‘Sleeping Alone’. Because of her consistent disappointment with her sexual encounters with men, she gave up lying on her back for 12 years and didn’t regret it for she found it to be a more acceptable option. “When you are alone, you are free.” She claims to have learned more about the qualities of a strong relationship. At age 50 she changed her mind and, once more, ventured under the sheets with men.
I don’t need to convince you that we have entered the Age of Orgasms. There are powerful, huge money -earning market forces that, 24/7, keep pushing the need to have sex in all spheres of life to such an extent that even virgin high school students are forced, under peer pressure, to place on their bucket lists the objective to have sex with a male before entering college. Virgins, like last name mentionings, are fast disappearing.
There are, however, no huge, money-earning market forces selling the need of celibacy. What could be sold? A DVD on celibacy? Can a TV show “Celibate Girls” match the earnings of “Girls Gone Wild”? Apart from religious organizations, try to name a single big money- making commercial operation selling celibacy!
Though it is self- evident, sex is more than the actual momentary sex act itself be it pleasurable or displeasurable. It’s involved with the mind and how they both , Ping-Pong-like, impact one another. Also, the same holds true with celibacy. There are a few definitions of celibacy but let me give you the working one for this post. It’s when someone, either living alone, married or else in a long –time living together relationship, foregoes sexual intercourse. It can be for short or long- term periods depending on the life’s circumstances and the temperament of the man or woman.
As with many of life’s situations, there are little solid data on the nature of celibacy and, apart from religious reasons, why people prefer it. Let’s assume there are two major reasons. Firstly, is that they are not physically stimulated enough to pursue it and secondly, the risk/benefit ratio rules against it. For example, one can desire sex but the conditions in which they can have it results in more pain than pleasure as exemplified in Ms. Fontanel’s experience.
Millions of men and women are not turned on by sex, and it should not be a medical surprise. They can live either without it or on a limited basis mostly to please another. Celibacy is a natural biological state. There are people who talk a lot, those who remain silent and those in between. There are folks who eat a lot, those who eat little and those in between, and there are people who sleep a lot and those hardly at all and, you guessed it, those in between.
For cultural reasons, celibates are silent and reluctant to speak openly about the fact that the search for orgasms is not on their bucket lists.
Now to the irrefutable observation poised as a question that I mention periodically in my posts: “Has peace of mind and general tranquility increased with the dramatic increase in sexual activity due to the sexual revolution?” Let me ask another one. “Who do you think was a more contented person? Mother Teresa or Marilyn Monroe?”
Think about it.