We have entered the age of squealers and/or whistleblowers, a more modern term. The difference between the two is sometimes difficult to define. Before I go on, I must tell you about my cultural mindset. Years ago, in my old Italian neighborhood, a squealer was the lowest form of human life and, for this reason, this “act of betrayal” was a rarity for fear of substantial retribution. Do you remember what Tony Soprano did to Pussy who was squealing to the Feds?
In the late 90’s the white woman airline attendant, Suzen Johnson, lured the famous football star, Frank Gifford, to a hotel room in Manhattan and secretly videotaped their sexual encounter. She then went public with it, and it received enormous media coverage. It’s said she was paid lots of dough not only for the video but for going public as a squealer.
I was fully expecting that much of the outrage would justifiably be directed toward that “traitor” woman. Not so! The betrayed man bore the entire brunt of the cultural beating while she enjoyed her fame and new found riches. G and I were dumbfounded that there was virtually no male, let alone female, support for Gifford.
Let’s jump to President Clinton and the Monica Lewinsky episode. After it became a hot national issue, several of his past white honeybuns came forth with stories of their sexual relationships. And hardly a critical finger was directed at these white lady squealers while our President took a beating. Media and other males deserted the poor guy. G and I were truly stupefied by the absence of male- white or black- let alone female- criticism of these ladies.
(The recent emergence of Lewinsky and the dynamics of the attack on her by women have nothing to do with the sexual event).
Jumping ahead in time, we come to the Tiger Woods scandal. This man, one of the greatest golfers of all time, shares a joint Asian –Black heritage. And he, like the great Frank Sinatra and members of his Rat Pack, is a horny guy and the types who are also understandably besieged by bedroom-promising women seeking experiences beyond the normal routine.
(Many famous men from Hollywood to the sports world, like Tiger Woods, prefer hookers for sexual relief therapy because of the lack of a risk of personal attachment which women of all types often seek with the rich and famous).
Well, from out of the “woodworks” squealing hooker women went public describing in detail Tiger’s sexual propensities which lead to a nasty divorce. They were all white ladies. G and I were hoping that, unlike the timid white media and politician males, the black and hopefully the Asian guys would come to his defense. But they, like the timid white guys, all puzzlingly remained silent not daring to criticize these squealing ladies. White women, however, launched vicious attacks on the man while Asian and black women remained silent.
Then came Elliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner, both politicians, where the women unabashedly went public with details of the sexual encounters, both real and imaginary, and these guys took humongous personal hits. And, yes, you guessed it; the ladies were all white, and all knew that they would escape the criticism of being judged as lowly squealers. They, instead, wreaked economic benefits from their betrayal as well as recognition which is a normal human drive.
G mentioned that the squealing white women phenomenon may not be the rule because of the Mike Tyson case involving a black woman. He was a great fighter who worked his way up from poverty to the heavyweight world championship. But this affair was different than the others because, after agreeing to go to his bedroom, the black woman accused him of rape and not of having past sexual encounters as with the aforementioned men. Anyway, the guy was convicted and went to jail. G and I, based on past history, were sure that the timid white guys would not come to his defense. But we were surely expecting that the male black leaders would come to his defense based on what a group of old neighborhood ladies expressed to G and me one night over dinner. “Why the hell did she go to his room; for tea and biscuits? She was asking for trouble. She’s to blame.” Right or wrong is not the issue here. Black men, a few of whom I personally know, though they agreed with these ladies, unanimously remained silent.
Here’s a recent case of a non-white woman squealing on an old white male. The young, attractive Black- Mexican, V. Stiviano, secretly taped a conversation with her 81 year old sugar daddy, Donald Sterling. While ostensibly having sex he made some racist remarks which she made publically available. It’s important to note that, as with the Tyson case, this did not involve the exposé of the sex life of a male but for other reasons. And, as also with Tyson, the squealer lady escaped entirely unscathed with one outstanding exception: the dynamic 86 year old baseball legend, Tommy Lasorda, who went to bat for his old friend. Regarding Stiviano’s act of betrayal, he remarked, “”And I don’t wish that girl any bad luck, but I hope she gets hit with a car.” This statement was virtually completely ignored by the media.
Here’s another point that remains in the shadows of human behavior which G and I believe must be increasingly common: it’s blackmail! We had a very close late friend who was a solid family man. He was introduced to an extremely seductive white woman who was paid by a male competitor seeking to lure him to her bedroom where the sexual encounter was videotaped. He succumbed and underwent nightmarish psychological blackmail torture.
Preliminary conclusion: Asian, Black and Hispanic women are not nearly as inclined as White women to squeal on their sexual relationships with men. Asian, Black, Hispanic and White males do not squeal on their sexual relationships with women. To date, this appears to be true with polyamorous and homosexual parties. It’s primarily the White woman sex squealer who should raise concern to all men.
It must be clearly stated that this only the opinion of G and me, and there is no solid medical-scientific evidence to support this conclusion about white women. But we believe there is enough evidence to send a sign of caution. Our culture is definitely supporting such women encouraging all women to betray men- and it will spread to other sexual territories. Though romantically tough to do, some have recommended that, particularly with repeated or long-term sexual relationships, a contract should be signed between the parties including polyamorous ones regardless of cultural backgrounds. An example of such a contract can be found on The Decrapitation Society website. http://thedecrapitationsociety.com/2012/03/29/the-power-of-the-mens-quest-for-orgasms-manizers-and-the-need-for-a-protective-sexual-disclaimer-contract-for-them/
Though New York City is not a typical American one, the 2013 race for mayor and other political positions sends a powerful message of the rapidly changing sexual and social values of America.
In the race for mayor there is Bill de Blasio who was born Warren Wihelm, petitioned a court to change his name to Warren de Blasio- Wilhelm and later changed it to his current name. He married a black woman who was a previous lesbian. He has been endorsed by President Obama. Another candidate, Christine Quinn, is a lesbian who married a lesbian and yet another is Anthony Weiner who famously sexted his genitals to women under the cartoon name, Carlos Danger
And then there was the race for comptroller by Eliot Spitzer, the former Governor of New York, who was forced to resign because of his escapades with hookers with his socks on.
(It’s interesting to note that all are Democrats).
A colleague recently told me about a New Jersey mother who, for some reason, decided to tell her 5 year- old daughter about the birds and the bees of life. She urged her not to marry young and also to find a good husband like her father. The daughter’s mouth dropped in wonderment, and she, obviously very anxious, asked, “But mom, if I marry a lesbian then I’ll have to live outside of New Jersey.” (Homosexual marriage is not yet legal in New Jersey).
The other day, while sipping coffee at my coffee shop, I overheard a conversation between a mother and her more or less 7 year-old daughter. The daughter asked, “Mommy, when can I start freezing my eggs?”
What’s the connection between these politicos and the daughters? It’s, of course, sex and social values. Not too long ago it was inconceivable that the aforementioned political candidates in New York would run for office anywhere, including New York. And even if homosexual marriage and egg freezing were available in the past, it is inconceivable that a 5 or 7 year- old daughter would ask those questions. As an aside, I wonder where these very young children got their sex information.
A challenging exercise would be to ask yourself where you can find the absence of the sex- factor in any aspect of our daily lives. The deregulation of the BGL marches on.
There is an old saying, “From the cradle to the grave” which reflects the extent of our current sexual omnipresence. But I prefer that of Lenin, the father of the Soviet Union, who said that, under Communism, the government would take care of all matters of its citizenry, “From erection to resurrection.”
For a long time we have been undergoing a pervasive, national educational effort to change our concept of masculinity. In the past I coined the term, Demasculization Syndrome or DMS to characterize the impact of this movement. Recently, I was curious to find out how the masculinity perceptions of these four controversial men with heavy media coverage and high recognition levels would rate with younger people. The latter are taught that men must be sensitive to women’s needs, non- violent and control their tempers, not use abusive language, not be a sexual predator and so on and so forth. Alec Baldwin, the hot tempered guy who also uses foul language; Charlie Sheen the coke addictive prostitute lover; Eliot Spitzer, the hypocrite about his public and personal “positions” with prostitutes and Anthony Weiner who shows his privates to women by sexting on cellphones certainly don’t fit the new masculinity prototype.
I conducted an informal, non-scientific survey in 28 people: 18 women and 10 men. I asked them to rate each one of these men either as ‘masculine’, ‘not masculine’ and ‘no opinion’. Interestingly enough, there were little differences between the sexes.
Though I didn’t ask specific questions behind their choices, by our conversations I did get a sense of the qualities most admire in Baldwin and Sheen. They were strength, being ‘alive’, ‘have balls’ and irreverent, likeable, physically attractive and would, for example, like to meet them over dinner.
Then I thought of who men and women in my generation –I’m somewhere between 70 and 80– would consider masculine and express similar types of sentiments. Clarke Gable, John Wayne and Sean Connery jumped to mind.
Though hard to believe, only a few souls are aware of this: Most studies and surveys, including this one, are flawed and not to be blindly accepted. (More on this in a later post). But the consistency of opinions of this survey certainly should encourage experts on social issues to further explore, in studies that aren’t flawed, how men and women perceive masculinity instead of continuing to teach the young and not-so young, otherwise. Would it be interesting and illuminating to compare the qualities of the Gables, Waynes and Connerys to the Baldwins and Sheens?
“Sex is like fire. It can warm up your home or burn it down.”
The battle of self- interest among individuals and groups is a natural phenomenon. Women self- interest groups have won the battle over men in our universities and in the work place, and they are to be congratulated. It was believed, however, that the military was immune to female activism because of the nature of warfare which, historically, has been a man thing. Not so today. Our political leaders, uncompromisingly pushed by our President, have further opened the doors for women to be in closer quarters to men whether on an aircraft carrier, in a tank or trench or in boot camp crawling through the bushes. I don’t know about the situation in modern submarines which have cramped quarters and stay underwater for a long time.
Women are now common, highly active and unabashedly sexual aggressors. I am told that it is a dishonor for young teenage ladies to remain virgins. New recruits for the Armed Services are young hormone driven men and women where sexual passions and attempts at their fulfillment are pervasive. And, if you don’t think the prevalence of these will increase, just take a look at the photo of Israeli gun-toting female soldiers. A picture, indeed, is worth a thousand words!
The Department of Defense released a report regarding “unwanted sexual contact” including a survey. Though the survey reported that more males have experienced unwanted sexual happenings, only 2% officially report them versus 90% of women. The human characteristic of tattle telling is much more common among women than men which is supported by the constant headlines of exposing male hanky- panky by ladies such as with Weiner’s wienerwurst and Spitzer’s prostitutes. And this pattern this will inevitably increase. In addition, women have a highly significant advantage over men with respect to producing objective evidence. Men don’t get pregnant!
Defense Secretary Charles Hagel called the military sex scene, “A huge problem.” He discussed it with President Obama who said that he believes there is no silver bullet to solve the problem, and it’s going to “take all of us to solve it”- whatever that means. I’ve got news. It is not solvable! We have entered the age of orgasms which expressions cannot be denied unless by forceful means.
Let’s step back and, like a corporate strategist, ask some fundamental core questions. What is the purpose of the military? Answer: To protect our country. Right? Do women in our military, particularly with new groundrules, enhance or diminish our national strength?
Our government has not addressed the latter question. Certainly it is obvious that the 200,000 women and 1.2 million men in the Armed Services, working together, can significantly increase our national strength if structured wisely. But which it is not. I fear, given our current system, the sex factor will result in the opposite.
The following is a statement made by the Army chief of staff, General Raymond Odierno, a good man but under lots of political pressure, before the Senate Armed Services Committee: “… combating sexual assault and sexual harassment within the ranks is our No. 1 priority.” Shouldn’t he have added, “In order to strengthen our national security?”
*There is no general law regarding sex such as Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Visit www.thedecrapitationsociety.com and read DeFelice’s Brain Genital Law or BGL which addresses all human sexual behavior.
- Sexual assault in the military: Victims tell their stories (pennlive.com)
- 60 removed from US military jobs in sexual assault review (worldbulletin.net)