Tag Archives: American Psychiatric Association

Small Penis Update


In my favorite coffee shop, my favorite “barista” introduced me to an old-timer urologist, and we had a cappuccino together. The doctor has a vast experience regarding sex matters, and somehow we got on the subject of small penises. Though I wrote about this in a previous post, I believe hearing what a wise, experienced physician has to say can be extremely helpful to both men and women.

Sipping on our cappuccinos he said, though obviously important, the length and width of the penis is highly overrated with respect to satisfying a woman. It’s the overall technique or know-how in making love that counts. G would certainly second that motion. There are lots of ways to turn a woman on which are, oftentimes, more important than the penis size or even do not require a penis at all. What disturbs the doctor is many times a man misleads himself in believing he has a small penis when, in fact, it’s due to a large vagina or one with lots of secretions. Furthermore, there are no credible clinical studies to determine which one is really the problem when the blame is mistakenly attributed to a small male organ. Roughly speaking – and these are only estimates- the average male erection size is 5.5 inches and its circumference about 4 inches, while the average depth of the vagina is 3.5 inches and width about 2.5 inches. So even if the male erection size is significantly below the average, it is still large enough to fill the majority of vaginas. G once told me that a number of his lady friends commented that men with large penises are not uncommonly inferior lovers than those with smaller or so-called small ones. And, so what if the penis is 3.0 inches and one-half inch shorter than the end of the vaginal road?

Regardless of the facts, the doctor told me as long as a man only thinks his penis is small and will detract from his performance, it oftentimes leads to a negative psychological mindset, such as increased anxiety, which affects his confidence and ability to achieve a full erection.

 For example, when a man is with an exciting, sensuous woman and heatedly anticipating entering her, his erection usually comes to a full, throbbing robust size. But when he has a routine encounter where, for whatever reason including the consumption of too much alcohol, his hormonal sparks aren’t flying, the erection is not nearly as full and stiff.

So here’s what he prescribes for men who, for factual or perceived reasons, believe that they have a small penis negatively impacting their performance:  He recommends that they take Viagra or Cialis or other related remedies which can, more often than not, be consistently effective in achieving a full, throbbing erection. It can usually remove the psychological barriers and, once successful, may, in the long term, even reduce the routine need for or even eliminate them.  

In the doctor’s experience, small penis or not, a high percentage of men claim to have a significant increase in width and length of their penises and are now happy troopers. Also, this effect has been reported in clinical studies.

When I asked G to review this post , he said, “ You forgot one critical point which I can personally vouch for. Women’s vaginas adapt to the size of the penis which is very good news and what you would think nature would do. Though very tough to conduct, I believe there are suggestive clinical studies which support my experience. The rap on a small penis is getting out of hand while the vagina factor, which may be a bigger problem, remains in the background. ”

I asked the doctor whether the pleasure derived from an orgasm is related to the size of the penis. . In his vast experience he found no differences. He said that Napoleon, who was a short man, had a small penis but was a horny son-of-a-gun. On his many military campaigns he very frequently would order his assistants to, “Bring me a woman.” He would order that the woman strip down naked before she entered his quarters. He was a very horny, energetic and courageous guy. He led the charge in multiple military battles. It’s said that he had at least nineteen horses killed under him and many more died from exhaustion.

 His penis may have been small but he had humongous balls!

napoleon horse 2

Pedophilia is Often Times not Pedophilia And The Oncoming of Adult Sexual Relationships with Non- Adults

Many cases which are labeled pedophilia are mislabeled.  Why this is so is not clear but the media play a prominent role for their sources of information responding to those authorities who incorrectly label cases as pedophilia.

 The standard classification of adults having sex with non- adults falls generally under three categories:

–       Pedophilia: When an adult is aroused by and carries out some type of sexual act with a prepubescent child.

–       Hebephilia: The same but within the approximate ages of 11-14.

–       Ephebophilia: The same but within the approximate ages of 15-19.

The DSM, The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, classifies pedophilia as a mental disorder but not the other two. It is interesting to note that the American Association of Psychiatry and Law held a survey on its members regarding hebephilia. Only 2 out of the 33 believed that it should be classified as a mental disorder which clearly sends out a message of our rapidly broadening of acceptable sexual values.

Regarding the general adult versus children-teen sexual relationships and, in spirit, supporting the votes of the 31, some ethicists have now coined the term “intergenerational intimacy” which is a tacit approval of such relationships.

The reasons I wrote this post are twofold: the first is for educational purposes- particularly to moms and dads- regarding the misleading use of the term “pedophilia”, and the second is to alert you that pedophilia, hebephillia and ephebophilia are most likely on the rise and becoming increasingly but subliminally acceptable.

As we all know sexual freedom in general is booming and much that was frowned upon only a couple of decades ago is becoming commonplace.  To be sure males and females in their teens are much more sexually sophisticated than our previous generations. For instance, many today would consider a 16 year female mature enough to have sex with a 21 year old male quite acceptable but not yet with a 60 year old one but may be so shortly. Or, since we have embraced homosexual marriage, how about a 14 year old male shacking or hooking up with a 30 year old one? Not yet, but may be shortly.

A broad variety of such sexual relationships will inevitably continue to rise. The lines of acceptability are blurring and is, because of this, leading to a wider acceptance of adult-non-adult sexual interfaces.

Only time will tell how far this is going and what impact it will have on the young and, particularly, the very young. 

It’s Not Sexual Addiction: It’s the Brain- Genital Law or BGL

Increasingly, much of sex behavior is being mislabeled as sexual addiction. Lots of folks are buying into this misconception and are understandably very much concerned about themselves  and others for there are all types of sexual behavior going on, including those never before experienced, such as sexting or watching a porn movie on a computer in the privacy of one’s room. So where is the line drawn between non-addictive and additive sex?

In a movie preview New York Post article of Thanks for Sharing starring Gwyneth Paltrow, examples of sex addiction cited included voyeurism and watching a woman dance in her underwear. If the latter is true, then all men in the world are addicts! Dewayne Jones, the executive producer of the TV reality series, Bad Sex, believes that nobody can be totally sexually happy. Now “totally” is a big word, and since we haven’t surveyed all the world’s men and women, we cannot know this. On the other hand, there is certainly a solid core of truth in his belief. But this unhappiness of which he refers to is not principally due to addiction but, as I mentioned previously, to the powerful Brain Genital Law or BGL. It’s insatiable and once set free or deregulated as is happening today, it seeks relief or expression anyway it can get it.

What is sexual addiction? To my knowledge, a concrete medical-scientific definition does not exist.  Attempts at definition include practically every natural sexual act  from masturbation to sodomy to visiting prostitutes. But, even if it exists, where is the normal-addiction line drawn? How many times must a man or woman masturbate or undergo or perform sodomy or visit a prostitute to be classified as an addict? Once, three times a week or how about twice a month? And why are they labeled addicts for doing so when they are natural expressions of the BGL and our sexually permissive society?

The American Psychiatric Association update of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DMS-5, which has expanded categories of mental disorders, does not mention sexual addiction. It’s, however, currently a rapidly expanding cultural term that has a strong sticking quality.

Here’s my concern: We’re now in a media-fed sex frenzy fueled by seriously flawed information where both men and women are being mislabeled as sexual addicts when, to repeat, there is no workable definition of it. The psychological and economic impact on such individuals will increasingly result in harm to them, their families and friends, among others.

Now this is what I’m afraid of: The increasingly intrusive hand of law is entering the general sex arena where sexual controversies from who owns the frozen egg to who owns the baby of a surrogate mother will be increasingly common and settled in the courts. Cases of sex addiction may soon follow. Convicted “addicts” will be forced to undergo therapy which will be stamped on their public records. Ask yourself, “Who wants to associate with or hire or marry a sex addict?”

I’m not trying to downplay the existence of sexual addiction but simply trying to have its limits defined before it spins way out of control and lots of men and women are hurt. Don’t forget we’ve now entered the “era of addictions” where the addiction label is being used loosely to many human acts.

Paradoxically, there is indeed a welcomed side to the sexual- addiction- labeling movement. It’s an implicit recognition by our country that the BGL is going out of control, and that, in a sense, it’s an attempt to pull the reins in on it.

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