At the end of the last dinner with the two widows where the discussion dealt with G’s experience with the forehead and nape of the neck of women, he promised them that he would talk about the nose and ears at the next dinner.
The ladies arrived, and, after cocktails, we all sat down to a very tasty lobster salad, celery root and breaded fried tomato dinner along with a sparkling Spanish white wine which G prefers over champagne with this menu because he believes the gustatory “hit” is far superior. That night no one quarreled with his judgment.
The widows, obviously curious as hell, mentioned that they spoke to a few of their widow friends and none had any sexual experience with their noses but all with their ears. They said they would tell G and me of their findings, but would wait to reveal them after they heard what G had to say. G smiled and began, “I hate to disappoint you ladies tonight but I’m not in the mood to cover both subjects for each is complicated and deserves discussion at separate sessions. But tonight let’s talk about the mysterious and fascinating and sexually largely unexplored female nose and hold off on the ears until the next dinner together.”
I playfully asked the widows whether G’s declaration ruined their evening. Our widow friend surprisingly lifted her glass of wine and made a toast. “We are more than happy to have received another invitation to dinner with two charming men.”
I then had an idea and made a suggestion that the lady friends with whom the widows discussed the nose-ear subject matter all join us for the next dinner to talk about sex and the ear. Surprisingly, both G and the widows thought it was a great idea. To tell the truth, after I made the suggestion, I did have second thoughts because of the unpredictability of what would happen with five women, three unknown, talking about ears and lady orgasms. But, what the hell: What is life without a little adventure?
G then began. “Now don’t get the wrong impression. I’m not claiming to be an expert on the noses of women and ways to make love to them, their noses, that is, in order to optimize their climaxes. Since our last dinner, I’ve searched my memory bank, which is not the best, regarding what I did and how many women I did it with. With the exception of two of them, their faces are fuzzy but overall I would estimate that I was successful with about six of them, but unsuccessful with a few more.
“But before I get into my experiences, I understand that men are much more into getting turned on by noses than women. Some call it nasophilia. Their hormones, for example, can surge either just by looking at a woman’s nose or her playing with her own nose while the man watches or when the woman actually makes love to the man’s nose by massaging and sucking it. At the suggestion of a lady friend, I did a brief nasophilia video search on YouTube and discovered that all the videos were about women showing off their protuberances which kind of confirms that it’s a big time man’s thing. But I’m not so sure.
“In the past Lorenzo and I spoke about the scents of nose and the fact that smell can turn on the hormones of both sexes. Few know that the nose can detect millions of scents. The Romans thought body odor or fetor soma as they called it, stimulated sexual fantasies. One of my favorite stories is when Napoleon, after winning a battle, sent a rider on a fast horse back to Paris with a confidential message to his wife Josephine. It read something like, ‘I’ll be home this weekend. Don’t bathe and forget the perfume!’
“Okay, let’s get to the subject matter: My sexual approach to the woman’s nose usually begins with holding the sides of the nostrils between my thumb and forefinger and slowly and rhythmically squeezing and massaging it. Depending on her response, then you go to fingering or tonguing her nostrils. I never sucked the nose. Don’t ask me why, but my instincts must have guided me though I am not against it. Now I could tell by the initial massage phase whether the woman would respond to further exploration. I would say most of them did not respond, but those who did really loved going all the way. I want to emphasize that, exciting as it is to certain women, it’s not in the superior class of muff diving.”
Our widow friend interrupted and asked, “Can you tell upfront who will respond and who will not? Did drugs play a role?”
“Regarding your second question, I don’t remember but wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Regarding your first question, I could not but I do have a theory. Because most of the women- maybe all of them- had not previously experienced nose love-making, they were uncomfortable as hell, and this understandably turned them off. Also, since our encounters were one night stands, I didn’t want to risk going forward and disrupting the sensual flow of things. If, however, I met them more than once and took my time, maybe many more would have loved it.
The widow’s friend chimed in, “Frankly speaking, G, I can’t imagine a man making love to my nose.”
He smiled and said, “Well, you phrase it like it’s an isolated act, which it is not. You must be doing other things such as making love to and/or whispering in her ears or biting on her nipples or squeezing her clitoris.
“Another thing: You don’t do it upfront but only when she’s excited and on her way to climax when her inhibitions are fewer and she’s more receptive to experimentation.”
With a big smile and devil in her eyes, the widow asked, “G, did any of your women ever make love to your nose?”
With a returning big smile, G replied, “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”