Clitoris – from the Greek root word kleitoris meaning “little hill”
G and I do periodically watch porno videos on the Internet for educational purposes for they weren’t around during our prime and tell us what kinds of things are turning men and women on sexually these days. Now many of you are now thinking these videos are also turning us on, and there’s nothing I can say to dissuade you except to say we are almost over the hill! In fact, they are a big turn-off for G for oftentimes he becomes visibly frustrated and pissed-off while watching all kinds of sex scenes from straight sex to domination. He claims, and I agree, they are boring as hell for those who seek high level sexual experiences. It’s not that he’s against simple, non- sophisticated sex encounters which the videos show for that’s what has been the way sex has been for almost every man and woman since Eve bit the hormone saturated apple.
Regarding the videos which deal with scenes of clitoral stimulation between men and women and lesbians, and in order to refresh our memories about their techniques, we recently watched about a dozen of them. After watching them, G and I poured ourselves a martini and analyzed them as well as others in the past. G lighted his pipe and calmly commented, “Lorenzo, they are all the same; just mechanical. They just use their fingers to rapidly rub up and down the surface of the clitoris. When using the tongue, it’s like a dog licking water to quench its thirst. The use of the tongue and the fingers in this way could be carried out by an inanimate vibrator successfully leading to orgasms in most women.” Then G paused and said, “I’ll take that back. Judged by my experience, I’m not so sure that most women would respond and just fake it in order to please their man. I just don’t know but I have a feeling that a healthy percentage of my women would not. But who knows? There are no good clinical studies, like most such studies on sex, to tell us. But, in my experience, I know about higher level sex with women and how making love to the clitoris plays a crucial role. And before I forget, sometimes the clitoris is not at all important and can get in the way of a woman having her orgasm. Maybe I should do a post on this. When clitoral stimulation is not working, stop it and switch to other things. On the other hand, it may not be working because of the routine way that’s usually done. It’s like women giving lousy hand or blow jobs which are common. Once more, on the other hand, men appear to be happy with these poor performances because of their surging hormones. I, however, mainly know about men from what I hear from women, male friends and their friends over the years and also read about. Lorenzo, sex is really complicated, isn’t it?”
As we sipped on our martinis, there was a pause, and I sensed that G was losing interest and not inclined to discuss in depth the subject of this post, which is, to repeat, the way to maximally stimulate the clitoris. I was about to change the subject in order to recharge his batteries and talk about one of G’s favorite subjects, food, when he suddenly burst out into laughter. I, curious as hell to know where that came from, asked, “G, what was that all about?” He, with a broad smile explained, “George Clooney, who I hear is a nice guy and a way out left political liberal and celebrity friend of Obama. He has been encouraged to run for political office by his supporters and, I think, even president. In an interview a few years ago, I think in Newsweek, when asked whether he had such interest, he answered, ‘I fucked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth.’ Can you imagine a presidential candidate making that confession? It’s okay if the best neurosurgeon in America makes that confession for a patient wouldn’t give a shit, but our president? We’ve got to get over the fact that many great men are great sinners and great leaders.
Reinvigorated, G then leaned back on his chair with his lingering broad smile, lighted his pipe and sippes on his martini and then said, “Let’s get on to the fascinating clitoris, the female penis. Look, we’ve talked about this marvelous appendage in previous posts before, and I’m not going to discuss it in lengthy detail. And, in my experience, women have the greatest clitoral sensations and orgasms, by far, when made love by GMD muff-diving. But let’s forget that for the moment and get to basics. I described them before either on the posts or in our book, but don’t remember exactly what I said, so let me start from scratch, but make it brief.”
There was a pause and, as G usually does when thinking about how to put things together, he gazed at the ceiling in silence. After a few more puffs and a few more sips, he began his clitoral dissertation like an instructor of anatomy in medical school. “As I see it there are five zones of the clitoris: The top, the bottom, two sides and the base which is connected to the vaginal wall. All are heavily innervated for good reason for that’s how nature encourages women, with exceptions, to spread their legs and welcome the entrance of the male penis in order to have children in order to propagate the race. It’s called evolution.”
Though I hated to interrupt his flow of thought, I feared I would forget to question one point of his opening statement and asked, “G, what do you mean when you say ‘with exceptions’?”
“Lorenzo, you know that when I keep repeating that I’m only talking about my experiences with different types of ladies and maybe the sexual world today is different. But I don’t think so. With a number of my ladies the clitoris was insensitive which is not surprising because natural feelings, be they mental or physical, biologically vary. Some folks are tall and some are not. Some smart and some not. Some clitorises are generally sensitive and some are not. Being sexually insensitive is normal for many women. So why the surprise? With such ladies there are other ways to make them relax and bring them to climax, perhaps the best, being the GMD way. But let me add the factors of opening their minds with palliatives and ‘speaking’ to a woman to bring out their fantasies which go hand in glove with clitoral stimulation.
“What I experienced is that you have to search for what zone or zones are sensitive. For example, just by gently and slowly flipping, yes, flipping, the zones of the clitoris leads to arousal, but mostly effective with the top and bottom zones and less effective with the side zones. In fact, sometimes all zones are sensitive. Before I forget, just placing your fingers on the clitoris pressing and putting real pressure on it for at least five seconds without moving your fingers is highly effective, but not in the beginning of clitoral stimulation for it can have the opposite effect. Wait until she’s clearly aroused. The same when kneeing it.”
“Wait a minute, G. Did you say, ‘kneeing it’? What the hell is that?”
“Lorenzo, you’re old and your memory is fading. Sometimes that’s good for life holds many bad memories which are best to forget, but we discussed this in the book and forgetting something you wrote about not too long ago -that’s attention grabbing and is not good news. Kneeing is similar to putting pressure on the clitoris. When a woman is fully aroused, spread her legs widely and periodically ram- and I mean ram- your knee against the entire pubic zone. I don’t remember, but I would say about fifty percent of them are turned on bigtime and the rest either are neutral about it or are turned off. You’ll know quickly after a few rams. I hate to be repetitious, but you’re doing other things while you’re ramming to increase the sensitivity of the clitoris. Just as an historical observation, I don’t remember any woman who experienced knee ramming before she experienced this with me.”
“G, before I forget, did you use vibrators? Though I’ve have no solid information, I’m told that they’re so common now and women even carry them around in their pocketbooks, even at work. I’m almost sure that lots of traveling women have extra-large pocketbooks.”
“Lorenzo, it’s funny that you mention this. You must have been reading my mind for I was considering bringing the subject up, but decided not to. Yes, I did use vibrators some of which were the size of penis-size dildos and some much smaller. But I never owned one. It was the women who carried them and asked me to use them. Now some had non-vibrating dildos which for some reason- don’t ask me why- I refused to use. But the vibrating ones interested me- again, don’t ask me why and perhaps out of curiosity. I had great success with them even though my experience was limited to about twenty times. After the first few times, I managed to master its use, and maybe that’s the subject of another post. But, in my experience it should not play a major role to bring a woman to climax but serve only as a catalyst. And it should be used, either directly on the clitoris or in the vagina- slowly!”
I sensed that G was running out of gas, as usual in our interviews, and decided to ask only one more question. “G, one more question. How about the fifth zone that you mentioned; the base of the clitoris?”
Once more G sat back and gazed at the ceiling. “That’s a tough one to describe for, in a funny way, it requires timing and know-how. I used it early in the arousal phase and not before- for it’s counterproductive. With your thumb and forefinger you firmly grasp the base and squeeze and make no movement for at least a few seconds. I found that most women enjoyed this but nowhere like the GMD.”
The interview ended on this note.