In order to stay in touch with our fast moving modern world, one thing that I do is to periodically scan multiple television channels concentrating, though not entirely, on the news including conservative and liberal opinion ones. I’m not sure how many channels I have, but they are in the multiple hundreds. Don’t ask me why but last night, for the first time, I scanned the upper channel range and discovered they all deal with old movies. I was about to turn the TV off but decided to click to one more channel and was I surprised! It was a video on the famous Cathouse, a legal house of prostitution in Nevada. One scene was a revelation to me and piqued my curiosity.
One of the ladies said that she and her lady colleagues had to stay sexually stimulated in order to be motivated to service the men. This was news to me. I do have some doubts whether this true in most houses of prostitution, but who knows. Anyway, in order to keep their passions on fire, they heavily depend on dildos and vibrators. Her collection of what seemed like a dozen such erotic devices was displayed. It comprised mostly artificial penises and some vibrators. In addition, she and her colleagues have belts connected to an artificial penis or dildo which they use to copulate with the other ladies of the night and, I would guess, to sodomize them and their men clients. Some men and women enjoy performing oral sex on these dildos. I understand that some preferred the flavored type.
For whatever reason, I became curious about artificial vaginas. I was too curious to watch the finale of the show and went directly to my computer and searched for “artificial vaginas”- and there they were. But I was truly surprised for they were only on a relatively few websites. I thought there would be many more, including life-size lady mannequins.
Speaking of mannequins, here’s an interesting fact: During World War II, Hitler decided to send soft, inflatable female mannequins with vaginas to his troops on the front battlefield lines in order to give them the comfort of a woman’s company and, of course, to enjoy their orgasms. Much to the credit of the German soldiers, they were embarrassed and refused the offer. Also, “Facing the enemy, they would want to fight rather than fuck.”
I called G, and he professed ignorance of the details of the artificial vagina scene. We blamed ourselves for being out of touch with the modern world of sex. So, for educational purposes, we decided to call our male friends and other male contacts and ask them what they knew about artificial vaginas. We spoke to about 20 of them of ages ranging from about 25 to 75. All vaguely knew about their existence, but they not only never used one, but knew of no one who had.
G and I wondered why this humongous potential market had not arrived. Then it suddenly dawned on us. It’s technology. The artificial vaginas, unlike dildos and vibrators, are not functional or consumer friendly enough to make for easy use. Dildos are flexible, very easy to use and do a number of things. They can wiggle like a snake and, at the same time, vibrate both on the clitoris and in the vagina. And, as long as the battery is charged or the wire plugged in, they can perform forever which, according to G, some women love. But G said that there are women who aren’t turned on by vibration dildos. Also, they are also very easy to clean which may be a big problem with an artificial vagina. But, in my opinion, one major advantage is that they are portable! You can put and hide them in a woman’s pocketbook- FYI, men don’t carry pocketbooks- which she can use whenever the occasion calls for it even in a restaurant’s ladies room. G and I have noticed that, unlike men, women are notoriously not comfortable sitting on a public toilet seat and only do number 1 by squatting above it. Doing number 2 is unthinkable because one must be seated to do so or cause a mess. But, if she’s turned- on by her date, she does have the option to be seated and turn on the battery. (By the way, G and I also have noticed that women don’t drink much, if any, water during dinner).
I did a dildo-vibrator search on the Internet and, unlike the handful of artificial vagina websites, the dildo ones seemed infinite! This clearly tells us that the female products are much, much more consumer friendly than artificial vaginas.
Conclusion: Since there is an overwhelming, bullish male orgasm- seeking market, it makes compelling sense that the virtual absence of the artificial vagina market is primarily due to the failure of technology to produce a consumer or male friendly device from portable pocket pussies to big or small breasted but always with tight vaginas, voluptuous, inflatable mannequins.
But my mindset as a physician-scientist makes me wonder if there are also other reasons why men may not be as enthusiastic about making love to an artificial vagina as one would expect. Even assuming that the vagina products are inferior, we all know that males are a horny bunch and would at least purchase substantially more devices than they do, friendly or not. Perhaps it’s in the male psychology that turns them off. I don’t know and both G and I don’t think so, but it’s a point to consider.
There is, however, one fact that’s not debatable which makes the design of an artificial vagina much more complicated than female toys. It involves two steps. First, unlike females, it’s getting a hard-on or, to our international friends, an erection, which is necessary to insert into a vagina- artificial or not! Perhaps the seductive voice of a woman should be part of the device containing a selection of themes for his choosing from teasing to domination or whatever turns on his BGL or Brain Genital Law. Or it can be programmed in his cellphone. Sure, there’s Viagra, but it’s not nearly as stimulating as a woman’s voice and the combination of the two. Second, the vagina then must do its thing such as fit comfortably, be at the right temperature, produce smooth, and rhythmic contractions at different speeds, among others in order to bring the male to climax. It can be portable or large and non-portable. A flexible product line is necessary to meet the demand.
Let me deviate for a moment and explain to you why a properly designed device would be a wonderful gift to my old and dear friend, G. I told this story before but am not sure whether in a previous post or in the book. Over dinner one night I told him of my penis experience as a young doctor. A man came into the emergency room in excruciating pain of his penis. He had a fractured penis of which the most common cause is when a woman sits on the top of a stiff erection and vigorously pumping away which is what happened to him. His urethra was broken and the poor guy couldn’t pee. The only cure for this condition is to ram a catheter into the penis and create a new urethra, an extremely painful experience that any man would not welcome. G had many encounters with women on the top, but after I told him the fractured penis story he was always fearful of the possibility of experiencing the same thing and could never relax and enjoy it. Now with a properly designed artificial vagina he could lie, without fear, on his back, without exerting himself and let himself go!
Getting back to faux vaginas: A friend told me that in Japan there’s an impressive market for “male masturbators.” He says they prefer not to use the term artificial vagina. Evidently, using one of these devices, a man won the world prize by masturbating for almost 10 hours without cardiac resuscitation!
Shakespeare wrote, “What’s in a name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” So also with a male masturbator: It’s an outright artificial vagina.
During my career I’ve witnessed many new markets blossom into huge money makers. The artificial vagina market is such a potential market. Enrico Fermi, the brilliant Italian physicist and father of the atomic bomb, once asked a question about the existence of extraterrestrial life what is now called the Fermi Paradox. If there are billions of planets in the Universe for billions of years many of which have life forms, he asked, “ If so, where are they?”
I ask, “Regarding the artificial vagina entrepreneurs for Lorenzo Baccalà’s Three P’s Paradox: The Portable Pocket Pussy: Where are they?”