G and I often spoke about “Crossing the Rubicon moments” with women but, for some unfathomable reason, they were not mentioned in the Casanova book nor in our past blogs.
The Roman Senate had a rule that when their generals were north of the Rubicon river in Northern Italy conquering the barbarians, they were not to re-cross it and return to Rome unless they received permission from the Senate. When, however, Julius Caesar was north of the Rubicon winning battle after battle, he decided to take control of the Roman Empire, disobeyed the Senate and “Crossed the Rubicon” and conquered the larger Roman Army. It’s now a frequently used term when an important decision is made and action taken to implement it.
G uses this term to describe “the moment” when a woman sends out a signal of receptivity- that it’s okay to move forward in love making not necessarily regarding copulation but to get much closer, be it an embrace and kiss or moving toward the bedroom for other reasons.
We recently discussed a Rubicon moment that he had with an 84 year woman. Rather than me describing what he said I asked him to send me an email on what transpired.
“She’s a long-time widow and friend for many years where vibrations of the hormonal type between us simply didn’t happen. She was a beautiful woman in her day who enjoyed being flirtatious with men but always drew the line. She was an unquestionably faithful wife. She is afflicted with a medical condition that most of us would emotionally surrender to but, being a strong woman, manages to stay positive and enjoy pleasurable moments.
“Here’s a cute thing that happened during dinner. In order to pick her spirits up, I tried to compliment her by saying she was a beautiful woman in her day. Well, all hell broke loose as if it were an insult! She said something like the following:
‘When a woman is young you guys say she’s a beautiful woman; when she enters the middle age zone you say you’re still beautiful; when you’re old, like I am, you say you must have been a beautiful woman. I have mixed feelings hearing those last words.’
“We both laughed and then had a wonderful dinner with a solid red wine from Abruzzo. She loves her Sambuca, and I ordered a healthy one for her, if you know what I mean. I’m a cognac man. To tell the truth, despite all my experiences with women, I didn’t feel or detect anything different than the usual great pleasure of being with this classic, still, for me, attractive, mature woman.
“The evening came to an end- as unfortunately all beautiful moments do- and I drove her to her home. As is my style, I opened the car door for her and helped her on her exit. I, holding her warm hand, escorted her to the home entrance. I gently embraced her for a light, friendly goodnight kiss when suddenly the Rubicon moment simultaneously struck both of us. It was through a powerful eye-to eye contact which lasted, like the Big Bang, for a zillionth of a second. Words cannot explain deep moments such as this. Here’s a try: judging by the romantic messengers of her eyes, we both sensed that not a light kiss but a deeper, more passionate one was called for. And, based on our years of life’s experiences, we both, without saying a word, decided to prohibit our lips from venturing into new, uncharted waters.
“The reason? Who the hell knows but it was the right decision. Maybe it was because of the future, unpredictable unknown. Lorenzo, oftentimes it’s not wise to Cross the Rubicon because, if you do, it’s a point of no return!”