If She’s a Slut or a Pig, What is He? Part I

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When I was in my early teens, way before the sexual revolution and, would you believe, before oral contraceptives, most men and women experienced sex for the first time during their first honeymoon night. There were, however, a few sexually prolific women who bedded with more than a few men. For protection against pregnancy and venereal disease they relied on men’s condoms and their diaphragms. Depending to what man you were talking to, these ladies would be called either “sluts” or “pigs” after which frequently followed, “Imagine marrying a pig like that.” But they, unsurprisingly, welcomed the opportunity to hit the sack with them.

Now here’s a point that reveals alot for it was prevalent throughout our national culture and not just in the territories of my experiences. Women generally expressed overt disgust and, might I say, “condemnation” toward the prolific women. But their take on prolific men was entirely different. If I had to sum it up, their general expressions on these guys would be something like, “That’s the way men are.” These words of apparent resignation were not infrequently accompanied by a slight smile either on the lips or in the eyes or both. Yes, there were negative expressions but usually lacking conviction reflecting the values of the times. I cannot remember any woman, though I’m sure they existed, who claimed she would never marry a man who has bedded with multiple women.

For many years after, my conversations with many men and women regarding their take on prolific sexual ladies never changed.

But I became convinced that after the sexual revolution began energetically moving forward, both the male and female mindset had changed and everything was copacetic. To support my belief, I understand that discussing the number of previously bedded partners among couples is becoming increasingly commonplace.  Frankly speaking and as I mentioned in previous posts, I am disturbed about multiple partners because it will inevitably lead, among other impacts, to a surge in national jealousy- a pervasive destroyer of man- woman affection and love.

Let me tell you about a recent encounter I had at my home with an attractive, intelligent, divorced and well-to- do lady in her upper 40’s. (To you cynics, women at that age are still attracted to geriatric me- occasionally)! She was delightful company, the kind of woman that you love to dine and converse with over good food and good drinks. There’s nothing like it. Ask G. Also, I was considering asking her for a date, which I rarely do these days.

During the conversation she, for reasons which puzzled me, volunteered the fact that she had slept with about 20 different men. That immediately diminished my desire to see her again. The reason? Frankly speaking, I’m not sure. If I were a younger man, the reason would be one that G always talks about. If you are a man or woman in the early phases of potentially falling in love with someone you can’t trust, draw the line and walk away in order to avoid debilitating suffering. But in this case, that wasn’t the issue- or at least I think so.

Then during the last month I had three different enlightening encounters with men. The first was with three college students of a reputable Catholic university which is somewhat conservative. The second was with two college students of a reputable, very liberal university. The third was a very unique and extremely enjoyable encounter with about 15 men ranging from ages 25 to 50, some divorced, some married and the rest single. It was a mixed group including public servants, postgraduate students and successful businessmen.  Boy, did I have a good stimulating evening on this festive occasion. I relentlessly quizzed them, and they gave it back. I was proud of them.

I asked their opinions on sexually prolific women. What a surprise! They all unanimously echoed what I heard in the past. “We love to hit the sack with them but no-way marry them. They’re sluts.” Only a couple used the pig term.

The five college students were virtually unanimous about prolific women and echoed what the 15 men had expressed. There are college women who are prolific and the guys seek them out for sexual relief but none had respect and would never consider marrying them. Also like the 15 men, most of the guys called them sluts and pigs only intermittently.

What I don’t know is how today’s women view prolific men and women. In fact, I’m not sure in today’s world when a woman is considered prolific. There is pressure on young ladies to surrender their virginity and many parents know and accept this. But that is not a definite sign that it would be OK with them if their daughters bedded indiscriminately.

But there’s little doubt that today’s women take a more flexible position when it comes to judging their sexually prolific counterparts. But I have a hunch they still have some serious reservations, and I’ll make the effort to interview them to find out.

Regarding their take on prolific men, in my interviews with the women I’ll bring it up. I’m curious as hell to find the answer!  I must be honest. I have a hunch what they will say. After all, most women who I know are attracted to womanizers like Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty.

There’s a larger message regarding these mindsets which, frankly speaking, is not clear to me. After my lady interviews, some thinking and bouncing off G, I’ll get back to you in Part II.

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