High volume sex in the United States is a first time historic phenomenon. I, very much concerned, extensively cover and wonder about all types of sex patterns and where they are leading us. Not too long ago, I had an intriguing conversation with a mother and her daughter who were open about their sexual experiences with multiple men describing a few scenes in impressive graphic detail. Please don’t ask me how this happened! I was somewhat uncomfortable for it was a first for me, and I decided to just listen and ask a few pointed questions. Curious as hell, I asked the daughter, “Does it bother you to hear your mom talk about her sexcapades with different men particularly the one in which she was sodomized and talked about how she loved it?” She replied, “Doc, you’re in the dark ages. This is normal these days, and mothers and daughters should discuss their experiences. Why not?” The mother agreed. I then asked about whether this also happened with the father-husband. He left town when the daughter was a teenager and was not involved.
A couple of days after, when I was having my martini, I wondered where we’re heading with men and women having large numbers of different sexual partners. Is there a difference if a man beds with fifty women than vice versa? Is it more harmful to men or women? Now I’m going to piss-off some women- and even some men at our universities- with my answer. I concluded it is much more harmful to women!
“Where’s the evidence?” you ask. “According to your posts you’re a big guy on producing evidence by clinical studies. Where are they?” My immediate reaction is that my judgment is based on observation and experiencing human behavior over four generations. As women age their interest is pursuing sex partners significantly diminishes while that of men decreases far less. Menopause tells us that. Now I don’t need a clinical study but only my observation and experience to make that judgment. For example, if an unaccompanied blindfolded man crosses Broadway in Manhattan, he has a greater chance of being hit by a car and killed than a person with normal vision.
Because of its complexity, I decided to write three posts in order to develop a convincing argument to warn women about the negative side of having multiple sex partners. I define the negative side as experiencing stress, instability and unhappiness. I began to write a draft covering many aspects of women’s and men’s sexual revolution ranging from psychology to the menopause. Half-way through my writing, I decided what I had to say was not sufficiently enlightening, let alone convincing, to me. It was also too boiler- plate for women. There was something missing, and it bothered me. I couldn’t figure it out and decided not to continue with the post and move on to another subject.
That night, however, I went to my local bar-restaurant where I sometimes do my writing. It’s a delightful place where both the rich and not- so- rich mingle and dine on tasty, inexpensive Italian food. The waitresses there work hard to make money on the side to support their families. They’re good, upper gals, and I truly enjoy the banter with them.
Then it happened! I decided to ask the waitresses who they thought would experience more harm. It was a busy night, and they were moving to and fro like the wind. As my favorite waitress, Robyn, flew by my table she, almost shouting, said, “It’s women. It’s expectations. Women have greater expectations!”
This hit me like a lightning bolt, and I had an Archimedes’s Eureka moment. Robyn hit it on the nose regarding what was bothering me. In my long life’s sojourn there is little doubt in my mind that this characteristic is biologically integrated in the female mentality much more than in the male’s. As I frequently do, I called others for their opinion, mostly women, including Heidi, a lady of class and intelligent feminist who lives in Zurich, Switzerland. All, including Heidi, and without hesitation, wholeheartedly agreed.