Throughout history the size of a man’s phallus has been a hot topic of discussion and, generally speaking, the bigger it is the more one is impressed. Romans, unlike the Greeks, were enthralled with large penises. One Roman wrote, “If from the baths you hear a round of applause, Maron’s giant prick is bound to be the cause.” Occasionally, Roman soldiers were promoted to higher levels, even to generals, based on the size of their penises. Maybe we should do this with our politicians – and maybe not. On the other hand, let’s bury the thought!
Today, it’s claimed that John Falcon has the largest living human penis measuring 13.5 inches. Regarding the gods, Priapus wins the prize. He was the son of the Greek goddess of love, beauty and sexuality, Aphrodite, and the lust for-life god, Dionysius. It is said that Priapus’s penis was about 2 feet long.
Which brings us to the plant kingdom and Amorphophallus titanium*. I was reading an article in the journal, Discover, about a giant parasitic plant in Borneo belonging to the genus, Rafflesia, which exists without roots and chlorophyll and which stinks to high heaven. It is classified as a Corpse Flower because the stench smells like rotting flesh. The A. titanium plant, found in the rain forest of Sumatra, is also classified as a Corpse Flower because it stinks to high heaven.
What attracted my curiosity was the “phallus” part of the name. I did an Internet search and came up with the above, let’s say, surprising photo. A literal interpretation of the name is something like, “A misshapen giant phallus.” This giant phallus can grow up to about ten feet in length. My first impression was that this Corpse Flower was number one in the world regarding phallus size. I remember that the mighty elephant’s phallus size is a little over six feet, making it number one in the land animal kingdom. But it is in the sea, not the land, where the champion resides. It’s the mammal, the Blue whale, with a size of 10 feet, about the same size as the stinking plant.
So the answer to the question posed in the title is, “It’s a tie!”
(By the way, just in case someone may have a wrong impression, plants don’t have penises).
*This plant can be found at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden.
Image 1: Amorphophallus titanium – Sumatra, Indonesia (ca. 1900-40)
Image 2: A preserved, dried blue whale penis, the largest penis in the world. Seen at the Íslenzka Reðasafn, or the Icelandic Phallological Museum.