I had lunch with two charming, likable women in their upper twenties and interviewed them about what women in their age group are thinking about sex and long term relationships with men. I chose that age for they have emerged from the earlier more free days, have jobs and are more mature than college students. Though I very much enjoyed their company I was surprised by what I heard and, frankly, curious about their futures. Though I didn’t learn this until the latter part of our conversation, they were both vegetarians. Rather than a long description of what we talked about, it’s best that I put it in a question and answer format. They were both in complete agreement with their thoughts and answers.
Me: “What type of men are you attracted to?”
Them: “On the border, but we really don’t like macho men.”
Me: “How about strong men?”
Them: “Maybe. Not sure”
Me: “Do you have boyfriends and how are they?”
Them: “Yes. Both are effeminate, sensitive and maybe one is also homosexual.”
Me: “Do you plan to marry?”
Them: “Ugh! No way. Marriage is the wrong way to go, and we are not interested-at all! We were told as kids that marriage between a man and a woman was natural, and we should find a good husband.”
Me: “Do you know any happily-enough married couples?”
Me: “How about when your 50 0r 60, don’t you want the security of a marriage?”
Them: “No way! We don’t need it and don’t want it.”
Me: “Do you want to have kids?”
Them: “Not my own by natural birth but maybe adopt one or be a surrogate for another woman. My brother is a homosexual, and if he wanted me to bear his kid, I’ll do it for him.”
Me: “So you’ll have kids a number of ways except through marriage or a long term relationship with a heterosexual man?”
Me: “Are women more attractive to you than non-effeminate heterosexual men?”
Me: “Do you want to become a lesbian? “
Them: “No. And we are not bisexual.”
Me: “What’s your position on non-effeminate heterosexual men??
Them: “We’re man eaters!”
What was impressive about the mindset of these young ladies was that they were both fatalistic and very resolute about their current positions and particularly so regarding their futures. But what struck a chord in my brain is that they are both vegetarians and perhaps there is a connection between their mental and physical dietary positions. I then called a vegetarian lady friend and interviewed her. But there was one big difference: She was in her late 40’s. She doesn’t want to have children; she prefers strong men over effeminate ones and women; not against marriage but probably won’t search for it. Her answer about her life and security of her future resonated with the other two ladies. “I’m not sure, not that concerned and whatever happens will happen.”
I was intrigued by the “fatalism of the future” commonality mentality of the ladies, though only three in number. I decided to interview one more and made a contact with a vegetarian woman in her early-30’s in San Francisco. Her responses were, more or less, similar to the ladies in the 20’s. But I was particularly searching for any “fatalistic” attitude about her future and asked what happens when she becomes a senior citizen without a man to support her. Her answer? “No problem. The government will probably take care of me.” I asked, “Suppose it doesn’t?” “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. But no husband!”
In conclusion, though this is not at all a definitive survey, I’ve might have stumbled upon an unexpected, common finding because of the intensity of their responses. Vegetarian women may commonly be fatalistic about their futures, and somehow this may be connected to their dietary choices. I will try to expand my interview of vegetarian women and also interview vegetarian men as well as vegan men and women and compare the responses.
One interesting aside observation: I’m a poetry fan and was surprised to discover that two of the women were big poetry lovers. I asked them, “Do you prefer T.S. Elliot or Wordsworth?” Both loved Elliot’s and actually despised Wordsworth’s poetry. Elliot’s poetry is complex, difficult to understand and without joy. Wordsworth’s poetry is simple, clearly written celebrating the beauty of nature. Maybe I stumbled upon another finding, whatever that is.